Page 23 of To Have and to Hold

Gabe dropped Les and sighed. “Leave now and I won’t say anything. We all understand howvaluableyou are.”

Les stalked out without another word, striding from the room with a surprising amount of dignity for a man who’d been swinging from his collar only a moment ago. As he left, I saw him for the guard he was again. Taller, broader, like my mind had warped him into something scrawny to reduce the fear. Les was gone, and for a second, relief washed over me. I let my heart begin to slow, taking a few steadying breaths.

But then my eyes dragged up to Gabe, who was watching me as he straightened his shirt out. “He won’t try to hurt you again,” Gabe said. “I’ll make sure of that.”

I snorted, then squeaked at how stupid I’d been. Gabe was gentle with me, but he was still Rafe’s man, still the enemy. He only helped me when his boss told him to. He was just as much a member of this cult of Rafael as any one else who worked for him. I had to remember that.

“What?” Gabe said, cocking his head. He stepped closer, crouched, so he was eye level with me. He wasn’t as scary as Les, bigger sure, but something about him felt softer. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” I muttered, ducking my head.

Gabe’s fingers on my chin made me shiver, and he tilted my face up gently. “Tell me why you snorted, or maybe I won’t be through with you either.”

My heart sank, Gabe had never— I’d put a lot of faith in Gabe being a good guy, but I had no real reason to. He worked here, for one big shining example of why not. “You can protect me from Les, but not from Rafe. Rafe’s… he’s…”

Gabe nodded, dropping my chin and backing out of my space a little. “I know what Rafe is, Violet. And I wish it didn’t have to be like this. Rest assured, he will be the only one. I’ll make sureof that.” He stood, walked towards the door, and stilled before turning back to look at me. “If you need anything…” He paused, huffed. “Shit. I’ve got to go.”

I stayed there, on the floor, until my legs were numb and my bones ached. Just staring, studying the wood, waiting for either man to return and hurt me. Les, Gabe, Rafe… any of them could stride through the door.

I’d never felt less safe.

WhenIwipedaftergoing to the toilet, about ten days after my arrival in this hell, a smear of blood stained the paper. Not unusual anymore, but I knew this was different. I sighed.

“Damn it,” I muttered, on instinct. But as I sat with it, I realized it wasn’t such a bad thing. It hadn’t worked, all the times Rafe had filled me with his seed, it had failed this time. With relief now, despite the cramps and the inconvenience, I shoved a wad of paper onto my vagina and stood to look for tampons. This bathroom was stocked with toiletries — none dangerous — but there was no pad or tampon in sight. Frowning, I tried not to think of the implications of that. They wanted me pregnant, assumed this would never be an issue.

Resigned to waiting for Lucy to come before I could ask for anything, I changed the wad of tissue and pulled up my underwear before climbing into bed, wishing this was all different.

A period was a signal of time. Would I have another while I was here? My last had been as an unmarried teenager, trapped, but in a much safer place. Clean, access to whatever I wanted.Here, they might just let me bleed. Rafe might like it. Low-effort blood for him to play with.

I shuddered. I just needed to wait for Lucy.

Chapter 14

Theo

Theywaitedfourteendaysto summon Charlie to Rafe’s compound. Two weeks until I had a legitimate reason to go knocking on his doors, following my brother inside like the dutiful lackey I was pretending to be. They kept Charlie busy, he visited without me, without telling me. Looking shifty as fuck when he slipped in, blood on his hands or alcohol on his breath. A lot was still being hidden. I was nowhere near in with them.

It was two weeks fraught with worry for Violet, of my mind battling against itself. It was her well-being. That was all I cared about. That’s what I tried to force myself to believe as I waited to catch Charlie out.

But flashes of her on that balcony, her wedding dress hitched up over her hips, the way her breath came out in those sweet little pants. The big fuck you we’d given to her now-husband. It made me hate myself, despise my very marrow for letting thoseimages in. It had been a clinical thing, a means to an end. She didn’t want her brother to do it, she was a woman out of choices.

I gave her something she wanted, begged for, and that was all. It wasn’t my brotherly love she needed; it was the maleness between my legs. Nothing more. Yes, she’d enjoyed herself, I’d made sure of that, but all it meant to her was in the moment, in the destruction of an idea. She would be horrified to learn I was growing obsessed. I sure fucking was. I couldn’t get my sister out of my head. In those moments, a shift had occurred, and it didn’t feel possible for it to go back. Even if all I would ever have of her in that way had passed, I still needed her free.

Charlie told our father that he required me because of his own impending wedding. His fiancé lived in the house by the compound too, but in a separate room, tucked behind the kitchen, her comings and goings not monitored by Charlie, so I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting her. Charlie said that while his wedding would have a lot less fanfare than Violet and Rafe’s, he still wanted to be able to focus on it, to go on a honeymoon without worrying the empire might fall. So he wished to call me in. There’s no way Father believed I had nothing to do with Charlie’s about face, but fuck it. It got me here. On her doorstep. A step closer.

I half-hoped to see her comfortable in the house, draped over some expensive furniture or busy in the kitchen with a smile spreading her cheeks. In the pool I knew they had in the basement, swimming lazy laps and languishing in luxury. Anything but the images my worst thoughts formed.

“Come in,” a gruff man said after yanking the door open and eyeing us up for a minute straight. He was scruffy, shorter than me, but not by much. His reddish hair was a mess on his head, but he still gave mean, dangerous energy. Despite his outward appearance, I could see why Rafe wanted this guy opening the door. I tensed, frowned at him.

“Good morning,” Charlie said pointedly at the man’s rudeness. And when he just rolled his eyes, I noted Charlie’s hackles raising with the tension in his shoulders. Us Lewis family members had been taught etiquette, damn it. Something it was clear Rafe didn’t give a shit about.

“Rafe’s this way,” the prick scowled at us, standing to the side so we could enter the large foyer.

Charlie glared at him, taking one measured step closer. “And what’s your name?” he asked, and I got to see a glimmer of what made him so good at his job. I witnessed what father saw in him when he was like this. Annoyed. Put out. It was only slight, but I would have just shrugged and swore at the guy. Charlie looked ready to kill because he hadn’t been polite enough. I herd him grumble about the disrespect and tried not to smirk.

“Les,” the man, Les, said, sticking his chin up. I couldn’t figure the fucker out. Appeared weak and weedy as he tried to square up to my brother, but his eyes, his damned fucking aura. There was something unhinged in that man. The thought of him near Violet prickled my hackles.

“Well, Les, you best take us to Rafe yourself, show a modicum of fucking hospitality,” Charlie threatened, his English accent sharp and clipped as he pointed a finger at an irritated Les.

---