Page 18 of To Have and to Hold

"Not virginal anymore. It's tainted now," he said, his voice cold as he watched Gabe work.

He sewed up my attempt at salvation. Each pinch of the needle, every tug of it against my flesh, making me tense and cry out. I curled up my toes, my fingers stiff, clawed like an old lady’s as I tried to breathe through the pain. Tendons strained in my neck, my eyes bulged. It was so much worse, so much moreprolonged and clinical in a way I hated, having the needle pull in and out of the thin skin on my wrist. At least the razor was fast.

Once Gabe finished, I became aware of the others in the room again. The two guards, or lackeys, or whoever they were, had retreated back to the door, almost like they were standing watch over it. But Rafe was at the foot of the bed, his head cocked as he watched my punishment.

I bit back an apology, not daring to meet his eyes, not wanting his viciousness to inject into me yet. But it was over. Drug-free stitching, forcing the skin I’d sliced apart back together with nothing but my own failing mental fortitude to stop me crumbling.

“Give me the blade,” Rafe said, breaking the silence in the room. I sucked in a breath without thinking, my eyes snapping to his as the taller guard handed him something.

For the last ten minutes, it had only been my panting, whimpering, echoing around the room a horrific lullaby. Now, I was positive I could hear the pounding of Rafe’s blood, like a predator stalking nearer to his prey. I needed to be safe, sure. Away. Far a-bloody-way. But Rafe climbed onto the bed until he was straddling me, and I couldn’t be any closer to the man.

“You tried to take from me before we’d even finished our wedding night,” he said, his voice too soft, menacing. Gabe stood and backed off, taking the suture kit with him to watch from the side as his boss did what he pleased. "One cut for a thousand."

Rafe was heavy on top of me, his body hard and overwhelming as he used it to pin me down. I didn’t squirm though, I was too exhausted. Those moments in the bell tower with Theo felt a lifetime ago, but I hadn’t even slept yet, not really. Only fallen unconscious due to pain. Didn’t think that counted for much restfulness.

Rafe grabbed my chin, squeezed my cheeks so my lips squashed open. His fingertips dug into my skin, no doubtleaving bruises behind, making my eyes water. “I can’t mark you up quite like I want to yet,” he lamented, bringing his nose close to mine. “We have breakfast with your family tomorrow. And while I know they won’t care, not really, we need to play a good game of pretend for just a little longer.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, begging for this to be over, for those cuts to not happen, trying to force my brother’s face into my mind instead. He would be there tomorrow. Breakfast, a last goodbye before they swanned back off to their safety, abandoning me to this rot. Theo, Theo, Theo…. He would remember me. Theo, Theo, Theo.

A sharp swipe of the blade across my breast made me jolt and shriek. Rafe sat back and laughed, grabbing my injured nipple and yanking it up, swiping the razor underneath, leaving a stinging line and making me gasp. “Gabe,” Rafe said, not looking away from me. “You’ll watch each wound. Let me know if it needs stitching before we move on.”

“Yes, boss,” Gabe said with a nod, standing a little closer, studying the fresh wounds on my body with a clinical gaze. He refused to meet my pleading eyes.

“Gabe,” I muttered, stupidly believing he might help me. The razor landed at my throat.

“He’s mine,” Rafe told me. “Don’t forget that. Just because he’s stitching you up after my fun doesn’t make him sympathetic to your lost cause.”

I nodded, turned my head away from the man with the suture kit, and tried to force my mind somewhere other than reality. Each time Rafe sliced into my skin, it ripped me back to the room.

Sometimes he was fast, other times he took it slow and agonizing, grazing the sharp edge of the razor down my leg without breaking skin, toying with me, running it up and down the inside of my thigh until I thought I was going to explode withfear. I flinched and twitched, unable to relax for even a second as he played his game. Laid his punishment out over my body. I didn't count, didn't care to. Could have been twenty, could have been ten thousand. It didn't matter.

Rafe laughed, his buddies laughed. Gabe didn’t. Gabe watched, jaw tense. Patting wounds, placing steri-strips over some, but not pushing his needle through my skin again. Either Rafe was holding back or the worst was yet to come.

But I ended up with stripes across most of my body, some just beading with blood, some deeper slashes, the red streaming down onto the bed, dripping, making another pattern for the wall. Rafe had his cock out by the time he reached my feet, and as he ran the blade along the sole of my foot, he rubbed himself, laughing and joking the entire time like he’d done this in front of his men a dozen times. Perhaps he had.

The razor digging in where my sole arched was the final straw on my cognition, and I reached the edge of oblivion, the room fading to black as I whimpered and pleaded with him to stop, my body shuddering and seizing.

“Maybe we should stitch up her pussy after you come in her to really lock the cum in…” I heard a male voice say as my world tried to blinker out. Fear rocketed through me, but then it blinked away, along with the room, tumbling me into brief darkness.

I wasn’t out for long. The next time my eyes opened, Rafe wasn’t above me anymore, but he was still in the room, muttering on his phone while Gabe wrapped gauze around my feet. When Gabe noticed I was awake, he said nothing, shook his head a fraction to warn me, I think, to stay quiet too. When Rafe lifted his face to look towards me, I slammed my eyes shut again, praying he hadn’t noticed I was awake.

“What do you think to this one then?” Rafe asked Gabe, his tone softer, not one I’d heard before.

Gabe sighed. “She’s strong, I reckon.” His touch on the top of my foot was tender as he tightened the bandaging. “Why go through all that effort with the wedding though, Rafe? I don’t understand. It makes it so… public. Each time you do this, they never last, and we go through the farce again.”

“It’s one way to guarantee the family behaves,” Rafe explained. “They seek the grand display, the reassurance that I’m serious about their spawn and their entry into our world. It will never be public, though. People are easy to fool when you’re giving them what they want.”

“And what did they want from you?” Gabe asked, and I had to think it was for me. I didn’t know the relationship between these men, but it seemed close. Friendlier than boss and employee.

Rafe didn’t reply to Gabe, instead chuckled, and a sound like he’d maybe slapped him on the shoulder. He walked away, leaving Gabe to finish up without him. “Come find me when you’re done,” Rafe said. “And if she wakes up, remind her to be on her best behavior tomorrow with her family. I don’t want any of us to have to punish her more.” And then the door opened and closed, and silence fell into the room.

“He’s gone,” Gabe muttered. “But don’t move. Just try to sleep.” He sighed. “It’s not going to get any easier with that man.”

Chapter 11

Theo

“Idon’twanttohear it, Theodore,” Father said, rubbing his temples and trying to hide his hangover. He wasn’t the man he used to be. Liquor bothered him more than he liked to admit, his lifestyle catching up with him. Our mother hadn’t even made it for breakfast at all, I guessed, still tucked up in bed with the curtains drawn and a pint of water by her head, ignoring all of life’s problems.

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