Page 44 of From Us, Forever

“Daddy only agreed to sign with the Four Foxes because I asked him. So I call the shots when it comes to the band. I can either let them record their first album with you out of the picture or I can dangle them with thepretense of making an album for years until they get frustrated and leave Pacific White with you in the picture.”

“Because I want him. And I will have him no matter what.”

“Please, just let us be. I’m begging you. We love each other so much.”

“You look pathetic, begging at my feet like this. Do you think all your crying would move me? Would make me change my mind? It only makes me pity you.”

“I only asked if you needed all those dresses, Evy. And now you’re being a fucking bitch about it. Emmie should’ve never brought you here. Everything was fine before you came along. You came and ruined everything. For months, you’ve been creating a wedge between all of us. Emmie is not even focused in the studio, and it’s all because of you. We were all a family, but now you are destroying all of us. Emmie should’ve never fallen in love with you. I should have never made you my best friend. You need to fucking leave us alone. We were all happy before you came along. You need to fucking go back to where you came from.”

“Did you like it? Did you like it when he fucked you? Did he fuck you like I did?”

“Leave, but don’t ever come back. I don’t ever want to see your face again.”

“Ma-arie is go-on-ne. She’s no more. She di-ied, Evy,”

“You have to find a way to pay it back. David is a very bad man, so please don’t try to get on his bad side. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Evy. I hate leaving you alone. I hope you forgive me.I hope that you will always be happy, Evy. I love you so much.”

“Jay, please save me. Pleas-se I’m sca-ar-red, it hu-urts.”

“You are so wrong if you think I’m going to save you this time, Evelyn.”

“No one special.”

“I fucking hate you, Evelyn. If there was a stronger word to use than that, I would.”

“Emmie, I told you. You never should have brought her back. When are you ever going to learn?”

“Save your tears, Evelyn. It’s not going to work this time.”

“I told you, Evelyn. All it’ll ever be is a fuck. So no, it means nothing to me.”

“We were perfectly fine before she came along, but look at us now. I’m telling you, Emmie, she is only here to destroy us.”

“This time, we’re done, Evelyn. For good. I don’t ever wish to see your face again. Goodbye.”

All their words resonated glaringly loud inside my head, every word so clear and distinct almost as if I’d subconsciously memorized the pain it caused me.

Ernest Hemingway once said,“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”The truth that those words held in my life was blatantly evident. In the midst of love, I forgot to see that I was special too.

Now, as I thought back on the memories, there were no hands gripping my heart, no smoke consuming my lungs, and no haze clouding my head.

Because I realized that none of it was my fault.

All I did was love—love with all that I was—so why the hell should I feel hurt?

I was seeing how special I was too, and how stupid I was to take all the pain, hurt, and burden and bury myself in it.

Last night’s experience was eye-opening. It jarred me and caught me off guard, and I crashed from the adrenaline of it.

Yes, the words they said hurt, but not as much as they used to. The old Evelyn wouldn’t even have left her bed and let the darkness consume her into a never-ending pit of self-loathing.

Last night needed to happen because it showed me how better I’d gotten.

It showed me I was healing, this time because of love too.

Love I saved for me instead of giving it all away.

It was also because of this incredible man who showed me what love truly was.

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