Page 114 of From Us, Forever

Mikey frowned. “No one’s blaming you, E. I told you that. Emmie’s not going to like you thinking like that.”

“What if he doesn’t make it, Mikey? What then? I know I’m going to blame myself for the rest of my life. For being so stupid not to even see it,” I whispered.

“Emmie would never want that. And I won’t let you think that way,” Mikey affirmed in a serious tone that left no room for argument.

“I can’t live without him.” My words hung in the air because we both knew it was the truth. There was no Jay without me, nor me without Jay.

I’d thought life fucked me up enough times that I could handle anything. But no, nothing hurt like this. It felt like inhaling smoke in an empty pit of hellfire.

“You were the only one,” I said a moment later.

His brows furrowed as he dragged his eyes to me.

“Even back in the day when I was doing crazy things to get away from him, you were the only one on my side.” I let that sink in. “You always have been. Why?”

Warmth caressed his green eyes with a hint of seriousness in its undertones. “Sometimes you reminded me of me.”

My brows knotted in confusion.

He shook his head, laughing dryly. “I know what it’s like to be alone and hopeless. I only had my mother before the Jamesons came into my life. I never knew that life could be this…colorful, I guess. My dull, dark days were suddenly bright and sunny for some reason.” A nostalgic look crept over his eyes. I think I knew which Jameson he was talking about. “Back in LA, I recognized the look in your eyes. Even when you were fighting, even when you were trying hard to get away from him, your eyes saidhe was my world,yet hecouldn’tbe. I think I’ve seen that look more times than I can count. I recognized myself in you, which was why I could never accept the fact that you would cheat. People like us, we can’t unless we’re forced to.”

I swallowed. “I would’ve cried had you said all that in a different time.”

He smiled, pulling me closer. “I searched for you, you know? Back in LA when you called me?”

I shook my head.

“I just felt that something was wrong. I even flew back to Seattle and asked around a bit, but I couldn’t find you. I let it go after a while, thinking you were at Yale or something. I just thought you had moved on, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But if I’d known otherwise, I swear I would’ve done something different, E.”

“I didn’t know that, but thank you.” A slither of a genuine smile curved my lips. “For always having my back. It means a lot.”

“You don’t have to thank me. Be it your fault or not, no one could’ve gone through what you did and still be here with him, fighting for this love, fighting for your sanity. Most girls would’ve said fuck it and left a long time ago. But you stayed. That shows how special you are, and you are very special, E.” He pressed a kiss on the side of my head. “Don’t ever forget that.”

“It was worth it.Hewas worth it.”

I don’t know how long we stood like that, but the early morning rays started to peek through the indigo-blue clouds. There was still no update on him, but we decided to return to the waiting room.

Katy was offering everyone cups of coffee, and the stale smell of instant coffee lingered in the air. I denied my cup because it reminded me of him, and just the thought of forcing that through my throat made my stomach lurch.

Seconds later, the doors slid open, and a doctor arrived decked out in surgical scrubs, with a nurse hovering behind him.

My heart cramped at their sight before it pounded so loudly that it felt like it was trying to burst out of my rib cage.

“Mr. Jameson’s family.” His voice gave nothing away.

“That’s us, Doctor,” Mikey voiced out while the boys crowded to their side.

“I’m sorry, but we can only disclose the details to immediate family.” He offered a tight smile.

“We’re his parents.” Emily and Richard rushed to the doctor’s side, and they spoke in hushed whispers in the corner. Even Lily hustled to them. Their expression altered from relief clouding their eyes before their silent cries floated through the room.

And I felt like dying.

It dawned on me that Jay was the only family I had, yet he wasn’t even mine. On paper.

What a cruel twist of fate?

Minutes passed before Emily’s eyes met mine, gesturing for me. “Come here, darling.”

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