Page 111 of From Us, Forever

I nodded, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I didn’t like the growing distance between Jay and me. It clawed my heart. He was right now at this moment fighting for his life, and I felt empty.

“Take me tohim.”

CHAPTER 21

Jay was still in surgery when we arrived at the hospital. The air was riddled with tense energy as we all just sat there, waiting.

All I wanted was for him to be okay and to come back and tell me he loved me. What if it never happened again?

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.

I felt dead on the inside as I buried myself further into the jacket that Mikey draped over me. Sitting in the corner, I couldn’t even meet anyone’s eye because the guilt was eating me alive.

This was all because of me. It was my fault he was lying on a table fighting for his life.

He was there because he tried to save me.

I couldn’t even wrap my mind around all the fucked-up revelations that came to light today. The hurt in my head intensified just thinking about it. But that wasn’t important now—he was.

I’d never imagined a world with no Jay. I didn’t think I would last a minute; an unimaginable fear crippled me at that thought alone.

Minutes stretched into hours, and I stayed rooted to my chair, not lifting my eyes from the fake lines on thefloor tile.

I shifted when I felt a presence beside me. Looking up, I saw Mikey watching me with somber green eyes. He’d been keeping Lily company. Lines blurred when she arrived at the waiting room, sobbing her eyes out, and he was the first person she ran to. He held her like she was the most precious thing in this world while he soothed her, whispering something only for her to hear. She didn’t stop wailing till exhaustion won over and knocked her out cold. Now she slept on the uncomfortable hospital chair—red-nosed and with caked lashes.

“You okay?” he asked, his tone laced with gentleness.

My attention returned to him as I shook my head.

He sighed—he looked more tired and weary than the rest of us. I knew he was trying to be the strong pillar of support, masking a brave face, but his devastation was apparent. I could see in his eyes that their usual brightness dimmed to a troubled glint. Jay meant a lot to him, so losing him would be like losing a brother.

“I’m sorry.” I cracked through the dryness in my throat. I hadn’t spoken to anyone since dropping myself into this stiff plastic chair.

The skin in the corner of his eyes creased. “Why are you sorry?”

The emotional lodge stuck in my throat made it hard for me to speak. “Because it’s all my fault,” I whispered.

Mikey’s gaze softened, and he offered me a small smile, gathering me in his arms. “No, E, it’s not. Emmie chose to go out there on his own and save you, and he would’ve done it another million times if it meant you were alive and safe.”

“But it’s all because of me. He wouldn’t even have ended up there if it wasn’t for me.”

His thumb brushed over my cheek. “He would never think that way. Emmie loves you more than anything in this world, E. Stay strong a little longer for him. He’ll be back in no time. I know it.”

His words did nothing to convince me. My veins felt like they were being filled with an icy numbness, and a huge hole gaped in the center of my chest.

I could feel nothing at all.

Minutes turned into hours, and I held my breath every time a nurse passed by, but there was still no news on him. The longer they took, the more the worry gnawed at me.

“E, drink this,” Katy’s delicate voice reached me as she held out a paper cup filled with water.

I shook my head, but she insisted.

My weary fingers closed around the cup and took slow sips. The cold water washed away my parched dry throat, but it didn’t make me feel any better. In fact, it made it a lot worse thinking of the pain he felt at that moment.

“Good,” she mumbled, gently lifting the cup away from me. Katy looked as tormented as the rest of us. She had since traded her dress for a pair of sweatpants and a soft hoodie. She had been running around, making sure everything was fine; it was her way of coping with this. Even though Matty urged her to sit down and take a break, she was on high wire energy. Only one person could calm her down, and that person wasn’t here yet.

My eyes darted to her when she laid a tender hand on my thigh and handed me a small shopping bag. “I brought you achange of clothes,” she said softly. “Why don’t you go change into something more comfortable?”

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