Page 22 of GDL

"I see."

"Turns out, the best thing in the world happened." His face lights up as he tells me about Ashton, and I can tell that even though all of this came out of nowhere and is still very new, he loves being a dad.

"What about Carrie?"

His jaw tightens. "She decided motherhood wasn't for her. I struggle with it because on the one hand, I have to respect her decision. And I'm grateful she came to me and told me about Ash rather than just put him up for adoption without me knowing I was his father. But on the other hand, I wonder how anyone can…" He blows out a heavy breath. "How can anyone leave their child?… Does that make me an asshole?"

"Of course not. You're handling all of this incredibly well, and your feelings are just as valid as hers. It's a tricky situation you're navigating." I hesitate. "Was that why we had to chase you for so long to get you to agree to this piece?"

He half smiles. "A little, yeah. I already had a low opinion of the press. No offense."

"None taken."

"And then when Ash came into the picture, my shields went up even more."

"What happened with the press to make you hate us so much?"

He tucks a loose strand of hair behind his ear. "All six of us were so naive when we were starting out. We thought that since we were creating content, we'd be in control of the narrative about us."

"And let me guess, you weren't."

"Nope. The media took one look at us with our tattoos and muscles and labeled us as party boys. Himbos… Fuckboys." Hisexpression tightens, and I can see the pain those labels caused. "Nothing could be further from the truth. Tanner and Patrick are huge nerds who study the Billboard music charts like it's the Bible."

"They're the ones who do the music video reviews where they banter and fight with each other, right?"

"Yeah. That's them." He grins. "Silas is obsessed with learning new languages. He's currently up to six. And everyone thinks Rocky is this big bodybuilding stud who's out banging a different dude every night, but he's actually quiet and reserved, and a night of crocheting while listening to classical music with his cat in his lap is basically his idea of heaven."

"So who came up with BBA?"

"Beckett. He's slightly older and the most savvy one of us. He said that if the media were going to label us as bad boys, then we should play into it but in a way that works for us. Use it to get clicks and attention but not harm our reputations. He's obsessed with everything mid-twentieth century, from the architecture to movies and music. He suggested we become a modern-day version of The Rat Pack."

"You knew who The Rat Pack were?"

Kynan shakes his head. "No. He had to explain it to us. It was before my time."

I lean toward him. "For the record, it was before my time, too."

"You sure about that?" I poke him in his side, and he chuckles. "Anyway, that's how it came about. We became the Bad Boy Academy and play up having fun and being naughty or whatever, but in a safe, PG-rated kind of way. It allows us to appeal to the widest audience possible and stops us from getting called much worse."

"That's pretty smart."

"And as you know, the guys have become more like family than work peers." He smiles. "It's really cool."

I stare out at the city, taking all this new information in. I'd had an inkling something was up, and seeing the vomit stain on his shoulder slotted the final piece into place. It explained so much of his behavior, and now that I know he has a child, it cements my feelings for him even more.

Fatherhood is a challenge when you have nine months to prepare for it. I can't even imagine the shock he felt finding out the way he did, completely out of the blue. He's handling things so well. Better than I think I would if I were in his shoes.

After a few minutes, Kynan says, "I don't know how I want to handle this yet. I know I can't hide Ash from the world forever, but I'm not ready to go live with any big announcement."

"I won't pressure you. You have my word." Would it be great for my interview? Fuck yeah. This would take an already big story and turn it into something massive. But I'm a man of my word, and if Kynan isn't ready, then I won't pressure him. "Is that what you're worried about?"

"No. Yes." He shrugs then sighs. "I trust you, but it's not the only thing on my mind."

"What else is?"

"You."

"Me?"

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