Page 91 of Ravished By the Beastly Duke

Even staying with her under the same roof was pure torture, and he could not stop himself from thinking of all the things that could go wrong, all the ways in which she could get hurt and maybe even die.

Eveline was not wrong when she told him that she could have had the same accident in the castle. He knew now that nowhere was safe, not even their home.

Anything could take her away. Just like his mother, she could get pregnant and die while having the baby.

The mere thought made William shudder uncontrollably. He suddenly felt hot all over, and even the cool breeze did not seem to make much of a difference.

He felt suffocated, and it was not just the study. He needed to leave the castle.

He decided to take a stroll then. He was not quite sure where he was going at first until he found himself in the garden.

He took a seat in the pavilion and took a deep breath.

There, in the garden, he felt free, and he could escape the panic that had been bubbling inside him for a moment.

There, in the garden, nothing else mattered. His mind was calm, and his inner turmoil had subsided.

It was just like old times, when he would escape from his father to the garden, the only place he knew his father would never step foot in. Now, however, he was escaping from his own thoughts and his mind.

He found it rather ironic that the same pavilion that his wife had erected was now the same place he was hiding from his troubles.

Memories of the last time he and Eveline had visited the pavilion flashed through his mind. He remembered just how raw and vulnerable he had been with her that night. And then the night ended on the most romantic note.

William’s heart ached, knowing that his wife was up in her chambers, confined to her bed while he sat there.

At that moment, he could not help but wonder if falling in love with his wife and baring his heart to her was a bad idea. He wondered for a moment if it would not have been better if he had stuck to his earlier resolve to never fall in love.

After all, love only brought pain. He had seen it with his father. He had witnessed how the pain of losing the one person he loved had driven him to cruelty.

And now William could not help but see a glimpse of his father in himself. His father had fallen in love and then gone mad once he lost his love. William, on the other hand, had fallen in love, and when the woman he loved had gotten injured, he had been so terrified that he had lost his mind for a moment.

It is all my fault.

After all, if he had not fallen in love with her, he wouldn’t have been so terrified by her little accident.

He had been blinded by his emotions and momentarily forgot that love was pain, but it was now time for him to remember.

Eveline had assured him that he was not broken, but now he knew she only said that because she wanted him to let go of his past. He knew now that he could never do that. His past has broken him, and a broken man he must remain to protect himself and, most especially, his wife.

He would always be scared of the future, the inevitable. He would always be scared of losing the woman he loved. He could never escape his fear of her getting hurt—certainly not now, when his fear had become a reality.

For a moment, he wondered what would happen if they had a child. What would he do if, during childbirth, his wife died? Would he terrorize his son as a punishment for her death? Would he hate his own child solely because of that?

William knew that he had made a mistake by allowing himself to feel, to live. Now, he has to fix it. He needed to make this right, not just for himself but also for his wife.

Having now made a decision, he left the pavilion and went back to the castle.

His mind had quietened down, and he was not quite as disturbed as he had been before. He now had one goal and one goal only, and right from that night, he planned to work towards it.

Therefore, instead of returning to his wife’s chambers and retiring for the night, he decided to spend his night in his study.

However, just as he had stopped in front of his study, he started doubting his earlier decision.

There was nothing he wanted more than to be in his bed and have his wife curl up against him while he showered her with kisses.

For a brief moment, his resolve faltered. He turned back, heading towards her chambers. He opened the door and stepped into the room, but the sight that greeted him stopped him in his tracks.

There his wife was, sleeping soundly in the bed they had shared for the past few days. Aside from her leg, which was still resting on a pillow, she looked quite peaceful in sleep.

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