Page 43 of Thorn of Sorrow

“Giovanni!” I wanted to feel his arms around me, to hear him say he loved me, to make me feel whole again. To look at me in reverence, like I was his everything, because he was mine.

“I’m right here, petit oiseau.” His voice broke, thick with desperation, but I couldn’t see him!

Hands tightened on me. I fought harder, limbs flailing, desperate to land every blow I could. “I won’t let you kill me! Giovanni!”

“I’m right here, Kyson!”

I collapsed, curling into a ball, my body racking with sobs. Warmth enveloped me, as someone else’s cries filled the space around me.

“Please, Kyson. I’m right here. I’m holding you. Loving you so fucking deeply it hurts. Please, look at me. See me.” Arms embraced me, anchored me, refusing to let me go. I needed the warmth of the solid body against me. I needed to hear that deep voice. Smell his scent. Feel those strong hands.

I blinked, afraid to believe what I saw. “I’m-I’m in my bedroom, not the kitchen. This is my room. My bed. He’s not here. I’m alive. In my bedroom, not the kitchen.”

“Your bed. You’re alive. He’s dead.”

I turned my head and gazed into Giovanni’s puffy, blue eyes.

He was crying blood-red tears.

He was crying, gazing at me with so much anguish in his eyes.

Giovanni Winterhaven was openly crying.

For me.

Because of me.

“I love you. I love you so much, Giovanni,” I said through my tears. “I’ve loved you for years but was too terrified to say… to say… say it, because I feared you’d abandon me just like everyone I cared about has.”

He cradled my face gently in his hands and simply stared at me. The longer he did, my breathing slowed and the chaos inside my head settled.

“The only way you’re getting rid of me is if you tell me to leave, and even then, I will fight for us with my last breath, little bird.”

“I’m in m-my bedroom.”

“You’re in your bedroom, safe in my arms, Kyson.” His thumbs brushed my cheeks, his warm palms chasing away my chills.

“He’s d-dead?”

Something passed behind his eyes that I couldn’t read. “Yes.”

There was more to that answer, but I didn’t want to know. I was barely holding on as it was.

“And I’m alive.” It was more of a statement to convince myself this was real.

A tidal wave of pain and regret filled his eyes. He swallowed, his gaze never leaving mine. “Yes.” His voice quivered. “You’re alive, sweetheart.”

It was more instinct than thought when I reached out, pulling Giovanni into my arms. He lay his head on my chest like he was listening to my heart beat. I stroked his hair, grounding myself in his presence, using him as my lifeline to sanity.

“You were my first.”

Slowly, Giovanni raised his head, staring incredulously at me. “Why didn’t you tell me? I took you—”

“Exactly how I wanted you to. I didn’t want you to treat me like some delicate flower.” The side of my mouth curled. “I told you to fuck me like you meant it, and you did.”

“I just wish—”

“That you gave me the best experience of my life?” I tucked strands of hair behind his ear, my fingers lingering. “You were beyond my expectations. Now, if you don’t mind, I would really love a shower.”

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