Page 14 of Thorn of Sorrow

“None taken.” Dick gave the beans a slow stir.

“But you can’t leave me hanging while you pretend the world doesn’t exist, Kyson.”

“You have Malachi,” I pointed out.

“And you have Richard, but is he enough? No offense, Richard,” Dane said without looking at Dick.

“Not offended.” Dick slid the cubed potatoes into the boiling pot of water on the stove.

“You think I’m blind?” Dane whispered. “You think I don’t see the way you look at Giovanni when he’s near you?”

I scoffed. “I have no idea—”

“Save your denial for someone who’ll let you get away with it,” he said. “Both of you get all weird-eyed when you’re near each other.” Dane wiggled his fingers in front of his face. “Maybe stop avoiding him and, at the very least, have a conversation with him.”

“Amen,” Dick muttered.

My gaze shot to Dick before darting back to Dane. “I’m not trying to sound like a prick,” I replied. “But why don’t you just focus on yourself and I’ll do the same.”

Dane narrowed his eyes. “You’re too stubborn for your own good. And you can try to push me away all you want, but I don’t forget about my friends. Especially when I care about them.”

“I wasn’t abandoning you,” I argued, feeling triggered. I’d never known my dad, and my mom had decided one day when I was seven that she didn’t want to be a parent anymore. I’d lived with my grandfather until he died when I was fifteen. Once I’d turned eighteen, my foster family had kicked me out like I’d meant nothing to them.

After being abandoned my entire life, it was hard for me to form relationships.

Even if I desperately wanted them.

Dane looked taken aback at my snarl. “I never said you abandoned me, Kyson. I just took the long way of saying I miss your company.”

Jesus Christ. I felt like I was losing my shit. Seeing the intimacy at the station messed me up more than I thought, causing the hollow ache inside of me to grow.

“I’m…” I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes. “I’m sorry, Dane. I don’t know why I’m snapping at you.”

You can’t even tell him the truth. That wasn’t even worth lying about.

I jumped when he touched my arm. My hands dropped, and I caught how quickly Dane pulled his away.

Without a word, I headed out of the kitchen, ignoring Malachi when I passed him in the hallway. My skin felt too tight, and my breaths were coming out too fast.

Halfway to my room, I stopped and pressed my back to the wall, closing my eyes. It wasn’t just Dane and Malachi’s relationship messing with me.

The feeling of abandonment, of being so utterly alone, felt like a heavy weight in my chest. My entire adult life I’d shied away from making friends, allowing fear to stop any potential relationships from ever forming.

Maybe that’s why I’d been such an easy target for Osiris. It had taken little effort for him to gain my attention, to ensnare me with his charm.

The same with Giovanni. I’d latched onto him like a desperate puppy, taking risks even though I’d known he was just as dangerous. Maybe even more so. It had been Osiris who’d carved me up, but it was Giovanni who tortured my sanity.

Five long years and my yearning for him hadn’t changed. I pathetically clung to that one moment we shared, a moment of tenderness he’d shown me years ago.

Slowly, I opened my eyes when I felt a presence, startled to find Giovanni standing right in front of me, his hands tucked into the front pockets of his slacks.

I’d always wondered how he could stand to be near me with my offensive odor, but he never seemed to be bothered by it. I would’ve asked, but I’d always been afraid of the answer.

He was somehow even more gorgeous than the night we met, but all the vampires were stunning, as if beauty was a strict requirement of their species.

Which only made me feel even more hideous because of my scarred body.

Maybe stop avoiding him and, at the very least, have a conversation with him.

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