Page 113 of Impending Consent

"I see you, pumpkin!" I smiled as she spun faster until she collapsed on the grass, giggling like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Skylar sat next to me drinking iced tea, watching her daughter in amusement. "I swear she has unlimited energy. Gray thinks she might be solar-powered."

"Well, she's certainly soaking up enough sun to last for a while so I apologize in advance." It was a perfect sunny day. Warm but not hot and just enough of a breeze to make sitting outside comfortable.

Skylar called this morning, asking if she could stop by with Skylynn and I missed her so I quickly agreed. Gray was meeting with his accountant about expanding his bar into a franchise and she wanted some sister time. What started as a quick visit hadstretched into an afternoon of catching up, lunch, and a full tour of the house.

"This place is incredible, Sail. When all the renovations are done, it's going to be perfect for a family."

I followed her line of sight and smiled at the expansive yard where Skylynn was poking at something in the grass. The property was larger than most in this neighborhood, with mature trees that provided shade and plenty of open space. Rival had been gradually restoring the house room by room, but the yard was still mostly untouched, waiting for its own transformation.

"It's a lot of space for two people," I agreed.

"Room to grow," Skylar said casually but I caught the pointed look she sent my way. "This yard is begging for a swing set and maybe a treehouse."

I rolled my eyes but smiled, shaking my head at her not so subtle hint. "Sounds like you’re plotting with my husband."

She grinned. "I'm just saying, my daughter is having the time of her life out here and she's only visiting. Imagine having this as your backyard growing up."

I watched Skylynn who had plopped down on her stomach and was now examining something with fierce concentration. "Kids had never really been my thing other than my niece and nephew.” I rubbed her stomach.

"But they are now?" Skylar prompted.

"I’m thinking about it."

"That's new."

"A lot of stuff with Rival is new."

"Having kids changes everything in ways you can't possibly imagine until it happens." She followed Skylynn’s movements around the yard but had a goofy smile on her face.

"That's what scares me. I like knowing what I'm doing, being prepared and having a plan. With kids you're just winging it."

Skylar laughed. "Oh, we're absolutely winging it. Every single damn day. I have no idea what I'm doing half the time and I'm pretty sure Gray doesn't either."

"You seem so natural with her, though."

"That's the greatest secret of parenting. Nobody knows what the hell they’re doing but somehow it works. We're all just trying our best and hoping we don't mess up so badly that our kids end up with some serious issues like all of us.”

I groaned as she grinned and added, “But kids are remarkably simple and forgiving. They just want love, attention, and boundaries. The rest works itself out."

I considered that, trying to imagine myself as a mother. The idea had always seemed foreign and incompatible with who I was but lately I found myself wondering what our child might be like. Rival would be an amazing father.

"I don't know if I would be good at it," I said honestly.

"Are you kidding? Sail, you'd be an amazing mom."

I arched my brow and she continued. "You're protective of the people you love. You fight for what's right, even when it's hard. You're smart as hell, which means your kids would never get away with anything?—"

"That doesn't sound like a positive." I laughed.

"Trust me, it is, and most importantly you know how to love deeply, even when you're scared. That's all a child really needs."

"I don't think of myself that way. God, this new space I’m in is so damn emotionally weighted for me."

"I know. You've always been harder on yourself than anyone else, but I see you, Sail and I'm so proud of who you've become."

"Stop it, Sky. You're going to make me cry."

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