We spent the rest of the night moving back and forth between discussion about sports, work, and relationships. I found myself truly relaxed and present in a way I hadn't been in years. Jairo was my boy but he was single and still on a pussy chase. TJ and Gray understood the world I was navigating with Sailor because they were part of it too. They knew her, loved her, wanted the best for her. Jairo wanted what was best for me so he kept my head level and I needed that shit too.
By the time we shut everything down, TJ drove Gray home because he was a little too buzzed to drive and Jairo crashed in my guest room instead of heading home after too much brown liquor. I ended up in bed with a hard dick the minute Sailor’s scent lifted from the pillow and sheets. I considered pulling up to bring her home but she needed this time with her sister and Indi so I texted her instead.
Me: This bed is lonely as fuck and the house is too quiet without you.
Sailor: Just getting into bed here too. My apartment feels strange now. Too empty. No you.
Me: Want me to come get you?
Sailor: No, it's late. We can survive one night.
Me: You sure? Because my dick thinks otherwise.
Sailor: You have hands.
Me: Not the same and after I bust that nut, my hands can’t do shit for missing you next to me. Nothing competes with the real thing, not just your pussy. All of you.
Sailor: Good comeback.
I chuckled when she sent a follow.
Sailor: I’ll be home tomorrow.
Home. The word hit somewhere deep. Six weeks ago, Sailor would never have referred to my house as home.
Me: I'll be here. Sleep well.
Sailor: You too and Rival…
Me: Yeah?
Sailor: Thank you.
Me: For what?
Sailor: For seeing me. The real me. Not many people do. Sky and Indi might have forced me to do emotion talk but I’m glad they did. I’m happy…
I stared at the message, reading it again to be sure I'd understood. It was perhaps the most vulnerable thing she'd ever said to me, at least in writing.
Me: Me too. Very fucking happy. Goodnight, wife.
Sailor: Goodnight, husband.
As I set my phone aside and settled into bed, I found myself smiling like a damn idiot. TJ's words echoed in my mind: she's trying. She was. We both were and that was a good thing because I loved my wife and wasn’t sure if I could do the right thing and let her go if she didn’t catch up and love me back.
Chapter 21
Sailor
"Are you sure this isn't too much?" I asked, eyeing the expensive bottle of wine I insisted on bringing. "Maybe I should've gone with flowers."
Rival chuckled, navigating the rental car through palm-tree lined streets. "My mother doesn't need either, but the wine is fine. Stop overthinking. She’s just happy that we’re here."
Easy for him to say. He wasn't about to meet his spouse's mother for the first time after an impulsive drunken wedding that said mother had initially disapproved of.
We’d landed in Oakland two hours ago and despite Rival's reassurances during the flight that meeting his mother would be easy, my anxiety was now at a dangerous level, somewhere between meltdown and drinking the bottle of wine to fix this. Her opinion mattered and I was well aware that a drunken marriage to secure sex wasn’t exactly the foundation most mothers hoped for when imagining their sons’ futures.
"I want her to like me," I admitted, smoothing nonexistent wrinkles from my sundress. When did I ever care about anyone’s mother liking me? Including my own.