Rival's expression softened, but thankfully, he didn't dive into my brief moment of emotional diarrhea.
"Mine is not living up to my potential. My mother sacrificed everything to give me opportunities. Wasting them feels flawed as fuck."
The confession hung between us and created a strange connection I wasn't entirely comfortable with.
"Tell me about your business.” I decided it was better to move toward safer territory.
I cringed slightly. He was incredibly talented but we’d never discussed this in the months he was at my apartment, other than what he was working on for me.
“It's not just a business. It'ssanctuary. There's something about working with wood that’s unforgiving but fair. You can't rush or fake it. Either you respect the material and the process or the shit doesn’t work."
I was genuinely interested because I felt that it did truly mean something to him. Shit, did I care about what made my husband happy?
"How did you get into it?"
"My grandfather. He was a carpenter. When I was eight, he started teaching me. Said I had good hands." Rival lifted his hands, turning them over, making me remember the feel of his hands on me—callused and talented. "After he died, I kept at it. I needed the connection to him."
"I'm sorry about your grandfather."
"Thank you. It was a long time ago so I’m in a better place with it. Your turn. Tell me something about your work that isn't just about winning."
"What makes you think it’s not all about winning for me?" I arched my brow.
"Because no one is that fucking one-dimensional, not eventheSailor Hassan."
I grinned and rolled my eyes at the use of his last name instead of mine.
"I like...fixing things. Being a voice for those who don’t have one.”
"See? I knew there was more to you."
"Don't get used to it. I'm still ruthless, calculating, and self-serving."
"And incredibly fucking sexy when you’re being humble."
I didn’t do this, ever, but oddly enough this wasnice.
"Why the celibacy?" The question tumbled out before I could stop it.
He didn't seem surprised. "Sex is intimate for me. Always has been. I got tired of pretending it wasn't."
"Oh…”
I felt like shit for taking something from him that he valued and I didn’t. I guess he sensed my conflict.
"You've had a lot of sex, Sail. How many times have you walked away feeling truly satisfied? Not just physically, but here?" He tapped his chest.
I didn't answer, which was answer enough, because never. I always felt worse after the high leveled and I pushed them away.
"Exactly," he said, not pushing further. "What about your siblings? You seem close."
"We are now. It wasn't always that way. Skylar was the responsible one, TJ was the promised prodigy, and I was..."
"The rebel?"
"The selfish one." I shrugged. "But things shifted into a bad place years ago. We all went through our stuff but found our way back to each other. They're my anchors now."
Which was why this marriage had to work. I couldn’t let them suffer because of my selfishness.