Page 2 of Shattered Sanctuary

“Yeah, it’s like some kind of dysfunctional friend who won’t go away.”

“Not sure it’s your friend.” She paused again.

“Okay, spit it out. I can tell you have something on your mind.”

Kaely sighed loudly. “I hope the day doesn’t come when I’m actually trying to keep something from you.”

“Why would you want to keep something from me?” Erin asked.

“You’re taking this way too literally.” Kaely cleared her throat. “Look, I ...I have a proposal.”

“If this is another invitation to fly to Virginia for a visit, you’re wasting your time. You know I can’t leave my apartment.”

“Erin, youcanleave your apartment. You just choose not to.”

“Says you.”

“Yeah, says me,” Kaely said. “I’m not asking you to come here, but I am asking you to walk out your front door. You can’t spend the rest of your life holed up in that place.”

Erin really did want to venture out, but she couldn’t stand the idea of being in a situation she couldn’t control. She was safe here. She could have anything she wanted delivered. Sheactually had left her apartment a few times, but just to go to the doctor, the therapist, or to pick up fast food. She’d just bought a new car, but only because she discovered she could do it online. The dealership delivered it to her door. Life had certainly changed over the last several years. Now, it was pretty easy to cut yourself off from the rest of the world.

“So, just whatareyou asking me to do?”

“I want you to get into that nice new car you bought and drive to the Smokies. I have a friend who owns a cabin in a town called Sanctuary.”

“You’re making that up.”

Kaely snickered. “No, I’m not. That’s really its name. Anyway, I’m proposing a week in an isolated cabin, just you and me. We can talk, cry, yell, do whatever we want with no one to bother us. I’ll even pick up groceries, do whatever I need to do. All you have to do is be there. The countryside is beautiful. You’ll love it. What do you say?”

Erin searched for an argument, but as she gazed around her kitchen, realizing how tired she was of looking at these same walls, she heard herself agreeing to go. She could drive there without the trauma of the close quarters on a plane, so it shouldn’t be too bad.

After getting more information from Kaely, Erin hung up her phone. What had she just done? She wanted to call Kaely back and explain why she couldn’t join her in Tennessee this weekend, but suddenly, the image of that box in the closet flashed in her mind. She had the distinct feeling that if she didn’t meet Kaely at the cabin, one of these nights she’d finally unlock it.

TWO

“I want to try again.”

Noah scooted his chair closer to his wife and took her hands. “Kaely, we’ve tried three times. It’s not just the cost of the treatments, it’s what I see happening to you. Every time it fails, it crushes you. I think it’s time to talk about adoption.”

“But I want your child, not someone else’s.” As soon as the words left her lips, she regretted them. She knew what it felt like to be unwanted. Giving a child without parents a home was a wonderful thing to do. But she also wanted Noah’s baby. She wanted to look into the face of their son or daughter and see themselves reflected back. Was that wrong? It didn’t feel wrong, but dismissing the idea of giving a home to children who needed a family made her feel ashamed.

“Kaely...”

She shook her head. “No, don’t say it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Maybe you’re right. But I’m just not ready to give up. Not yet, anyway.”

Noah squeezed her hands and smiled. Now Kaely felt even guiltier. He was so patient and understanding. Maybe he was right. Perhaps they should at least look into adoption. Shegently pulled her hands from his and took a sip of her coffee. Sunlight streamed in from the kitchen window, reminding her that it was getting late. They’d both slept a little later than usual and had just finished breakfast. Noah had to get to work at the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, and she needed to pack for her trip.

“Look,” he said. “You’re getting ready to spend a week with Erin in the Smoky Mountains. Why don’t you just take a break from thinking about this? Have some fun. We’ll talk again when you get back. I find that when my mind is quiet, it’s easier to hear from God. Maybe being in new surroundings will help you.”

Kaely leaned over and kissed him. “Maybe it will, but being away from you will be hard. I depend on you more than you know.”

Noah smiled. “I love being here for you, but even though I’m pretty perfect, I’m not God. You need to find out what He wants you to do.”

Kaely laughed. “Let’s not get carried away. You’re not really perfect, my love.”

He grinned. “Now that’s just mean.”

Kaely shook her head. “You’re a pill, you know that?” Her smile slipped. “I really will miss you. I hate it when we’re apart.”

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