Page 55 of Shattered Sanctuary

“Yes, it is. And my friend blamed himself for it. Felt that he’d read the guy wrong. That he should have simply shot him in the head and saved the boy.”

“What... what happened to your friend?” Erin asked.

“You may not like my answer.”

“Tell me.”

“Okay. He got help from the One who saved me. The One who let him know that it wasn’t his fault. That he’d done everything he could to save the little boy’s life. That He knew my friend would have given his own life for the boy. It was that reassurance that saved him. That made him realize that the only person responsible was the evil man who killed his son.”

Erin came back over and sat down on the couch again. “Were you the friend?”

Kaely shook her head. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Whoever it was—that was a great friend.”

“Yes, He was. And He still is.”

Erin’s eyebrow shot up and her eyes narrowed. “You’re talking about God again.”

Kaely shrugged. “Yes, I am. You asked. I’m sorry if you don’t like my answer.”

“You’re right, I don’t.” She shook her head. “Kaely, you’re so smart. How can you possibly believe in some kind of magical being who lives in the sky and runs everyone’s life? I don’t get it.”

“Idon’tbelieve that.”

Erin looked confused. “What does that mean?”

“First of all, God doesn’t run anyone’s life. He’s not a puppet master or a dictator. And secondly, can I ask you the same question you asked me?”

Erin frowned. “I guess so.”

“How can you possibly believe that the world, human beings, the universe, just happened accidentally? Out of nothing? That takes a lot more faith than I could ever muster.”

Erin didn’t say anything, she just looked at Kaely. Had she blown it? Had she pushed Erin too hard?

THIRTY-SEVEN

At first, he’d cursed the coming storm. It would make it harder for him to continue his mission. But then he realized that with the next offering, it could actually make it easier. She wouldn’t be able to get away. She would be trapped. Of course, he would have to be able to make his escape, but he believed he could do it. He was used to bad weather. It had never stopped him before.

He’d been watching her. Planning. Waiting. That gnawing feeling was becoming stronger, as if it were eating him alive from the inside. He’d called out to his god to help him, but the only answer he received was that until he satisfied the hunger within, things wouldn’t get better for him.

He had to kill her soon. Very soon.

Erin wanted to snap back at Kaely. Throw some kind of pithy response at her. But the truth was, her question was a good one. One she couldn’t answer.

“Look, when I was a kid, I believed in God,” Erin said. “My parents didn’t take me to church, but I went a few timeswith a friend from school. Until they moved away. The Sunday school teacher had told us that if we prayed, God would hear us. That He answered prayer. So the night of my parents’ accident, I prayed. I prayed they’d live, but they didn’t. I prayed my sister would get off drugs and come home, but she didn’t. So I quit praying.” She sighed. “I’m sure you have some kind of pat response for something like this. But the truth is, what good is a God who ignores prayers? Who leaves someone an orphan at ten years old? If He can’t do any better than that, I’m not interested.”

“I don’t have all the answers, Erin. But I can tell you one thing that is true. God loves you. No matter what it looks like, nothing will ever change that.”

“Sure. He let my parents die, my sister disappear. And He watched while Scott and Sarah were shot to death. Great God you have there.”

“He didn’t cause the accident, Erin. Nor did he force your sister to take drugs. Gang members started the shooting that night Scott and Sarah died. God didn’t do that. There are consequences for actions. No, Scott and Sarah shouldn’t have paid for the actions of those gang members, but God didn’t pull the triggers. You’re blaming Him for things He had nothing to do with. And now, He wants to help you. Don’t you think it’s odd that the only person you’re willing to talk to now is me? One of those Christians you disagree with so much? Has it ever occurred to you that He’s the One who brought us together? That this is His way of reaching out to you when you need Him?” She took a deep breath. “Erin, you’ll never be free if you don’t take a step of faith. Just one step. Don’t worry about the next ones. They’ll come.”

“I don’t know,” Erin said. “I turned my back on God because I believed He let me down.”

“Okay,” Kaely said. “Let me turn this around a bit. I’m certain you were a wonderful police officer. I know this because I’ve come to knowyou. So, why did that little girl die? Does that mean you were a bad officer? Or did you just want her to die?”

Kaely’s comment felt like a punch in the stomach, and she gasped for air.

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