Page 63 of Cold Threat

I made sure my travel mug was clean and waiting on the counter. Tomorrow, I’ll fill it and take it with me, although the anticipation is enough to keep me awake. The coffee’s more of a distraction.

“What time do we do this thing?” she asked, startling me.

“Wearen’t doing anything. You’re staying here.”

“No. I have to come with you. You need me.”

I sighed. I love her, but sometimes she gets on my nerves. “Of course I need you, but this one is different. More complicated. I can’t allow you to make me nervous. Please understand. I absolutely can’t get distracted.”

She glared at me. “This is personal to me too, you know. We’re righting a wrong. Not just for me but for everyone who has suffered at the hands of evil people. People who hurt innocents.”

“I know that.” I sighed. “All right, but you have to be quiet.”

She laughed at this. “Don’t be silly. I won’t be the one who blows it. That’s not possible. If anything goes wrong, it will be all your fault.”

“That’s exactly the kind of thing I don’t need to hear.”

“All right, all right. I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet, but Iwillbe there.”

There wasn’t any point in arguing with her. I wouldn’t win. “Okay. Just do what I tell you and everything will be okay.”

She made a gesture as if zipping her lips. It made me laugh and helped to remind me again that she was the reason I had to see this through.

“You stay here until I’m ready tomorrow, then we’ll go. Deal?”

She smiled at me. “Deal.”

Tomorrow, as the snow fell, the guilty would be punished and the innocent, whose voices had been stilled by death or by trauma, would finally have a say.

RIVER JUST STAREDAT BETH.How should she respond? Aimee was Beth’s daughter. River couldn’t very well tell her what she really thought of her.

“I ... I don’t know what to say,” she said finally. “Yes, Aimeetold me her feelings about the shooting, and I understand why she thinks that way. You told me you saw things the same way at first—until you realized I would never purposely put Tony in danger. Hopefully, Aimee will come to that same conclusion.”

Beth took a sip of her coffee and then set her mug down. Her hesitation meant that what was coming next was hard for her to say.

“I’m not so sure, River. Aimee has always been very protective of her older brother. Of course, he’s the same way with her. In fact, when they were teenagers, Aimee’s commitment to him got a little aggravating. Tony told her over and over that he didn’t need a little mother hen trying to watch out for him all the time. Aimee never listened. When Tony decided to study criminal justice in college and then announced that he was applying to the academy ... Well, let’s just say that tears were shed. In fact, Aimee pleaded with Tony not to go. But obviously, that didn’t work. Then when he got shot...”

“She blamed me,” River said. “She truly believes Tony went to the river that night because I wanted him to.”

“Yes.” Beth sighed. “Look, I understand that you thought your friend was going to meet you. That she had some kind of new evidence. But you’re not field agents. Why didn’t you send someone else? Someone trained to handle situations like that?”

“We’ve been over this, Beth. I really don’t want to...”

Beth waved her hand at River. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sounding like Aimee.” She took a sip of coffee before saying, “Aimee has talked about you ... no, complained about you so many times, it’s gotten inside my head.”

“Look, I’ve gone over that night more times than I can count. I’ve asked myself why I didn’t hear a tone in my friend’s voice that should have warned me that something was wrong. I’ve berated myself so much that I began to believe everything that happened was my fault. It’s ... it’s been weighing me down. Unfortunately, Ican’t go back in time, Beth. I can’t change things. Maybe I did miss something, but it wasn’t on purpose. Tony and I both thought Jacki had found something she wanted us to see.” River took a deep breath. “I’ve finally realized that if I made a mistake, all I can do is accept God’s forgiveness. Jesus paid an incomparable price so that I can do that.” River stood up. “I’m sorry, but I’m done hating myself. I’m not trying to be cavalier about what happened. It was terrible. For both of us. But I’m not carrying it around with me anymore. Not for Aimee. And not for you. I hope you can understand. If not, I’m sorry.”

Her hands shaking, River picked up her coffee cup, went over to the coffeemaker, poured another cup, and headed up the stairs. She listened for Beth, hoping to hear something. Anything. Encouragement to come back. Maybe even an apology. But there wasn’t a sound. Giving up, River opened the door to Ray’s office and went inside.

Although she was glad she’d stood up for herself, she was also nervous. Had she blown it with Tony’s family? She didn’t want that. She loved being around them. They had something she’d never experienced, and she really enjoyed it. She was learning that being part of a family could be a great thing. A healing thing. But no matter what, she was determined she wasn’t going back to the deep well of despair that she’d just climbed out of. Never again.

“Thank You for forgiving me,” she whispered as she pulled a chair over and parked it in front of the corkboard. “Thank You that now there is therefore no condemnation...” She stopped quoting the Bible verse that meant so much to her when she heard something behind her. River turned around to find Beth staring at her. Was she angry? Was she going to ask her to leave?

Instead, she stepped into the room and pulled the door closed behind her. Her eyes were shiny with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I truly don’t feel that way anymore.I was just trying to explain Aimee’s reaction to you. Please don’t think I blame you for what happened. I don’t.”

She walked over to River, who stood up to face her. Beth suddenly threw her arms around River, hugging her tightly. “What you said is absolutely right. Jesus did pay a high price for us. I’m so thankful. We need it every day. You do, I do, and so does Aimee.” She let go of River and slumped down into the other chair. “I’ve tried to talk to Aimee about her attitude toward you, but I haven’t gotten very far. She’s so stubborn. Kind of like her brother. That pigheadedness has made her resent you, and it’s not right.” Beth wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Please, know that I think you’re incredible. If it was my job to pick someone for my son, it would be you. Unfortunately, it’s not my right or my business.” She gave River a tremulous smile. “I intend to keep my nose where it belongs from now on. Maybe you can breathe a deep sigh of relief?”

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