Page 95 of Finding Home

It was refreshing and a little perplexing that he always seemed to know her pages, her paragraphs of truth.She was his favorite book, after all.How often had she let the unspoken simmer within her instead of allowing those words to escape her lips?

“I know that for a long time your wants sat on the back burner second to what your mom wanted.You talk about me always taking care of everyone else, but you don’t see how you do the same thing. There’s a drive in you to protect your people, to make sure they have what you feel they need…. what you feel they want. Even if they don’t ask you to slay their dragons, youdo. I just want you to be your own warrior. To kindly have a ‘Come to Jesus’ chat with yourself like you did with my dad.”

Elle’s face burned from the realization that Chris had told Clayton about their conversation when she not-so-subtly implied that he needed to show his son that he was proud of him by taking an active interest in Clayton’s career.

“Did your dad really call it a ‘Come to Jesus’ talk?”She cringed.

“He said you were sweetly persuasive.”

“When did he say that?”

“Last night at dinner.”

Clayton had met his dad for dinner prior to joining Elle at the Wine Down with their friends to celebrate Carmen and Mathew’s baby adoption announcement. He’d been so happy when she walked through the door that she simply lost herself in his joy not asking for details about his dinner.

“We had a long talk about a lot of things. Things that we both kept locked away from one another.”

“I didn’t mean to overstep. I wanted to help…to take care of you the way you take care of me and everyone else.”

“I know,” he murmured.

“Viet says I have a habit of blurting out things or acting without considering what someone truly wants.”

She closed her eyes, assigning the term “carelessly thoughtful” to herself. So blinded by wanting to help that she sometimes missed the entire picture. Not stopping to consider if what she’d deemed best was truly what someone wanted. How different she and Clayton are with this, him all patience, her all sword.

“I am really sorry. You trusted me with your feelings about your dad and I betrayed that.”A hard lump in her throat made the words wobble.

“I’m not upset.From how my dad described the conversation, you didn’t betray me.You never said to him, ‘Hey, your son says you’re being a dick,”His reassuring grin coaxed a small, relieved smile to her face.“You want to take care of your people and I love being one of your people.”

Love?She’d not let herself get lost in that thought.

“Sometimes we have to push the people we care about to ask for what they want.I am not mad, but maybe next time, use your sword to push me into asking for what I want…what I need instead.”

“Ok,” she croaked.

He kissed her.“No regrets.Yes, you maybe went about it differently, but in the end, it forced me and my dad to talk about things we hadn’t.To face what our relationship had become…to restart from an honest place.For me to see how it wasn’t just me.”

“What?”

“There’s more than one person in a relationship, so both play a part in its growing or withering.I didn’t realize that after I told my parents that I wasn’t going to go to medical school, that I stopped talking to my dad about school...or about anything important to me.IthoughtI was his great disappointment and that shaped our relationship.The reason Evan and my dad talked all the time was because Evan shared with my dad what he was doing.Same thing with Nat.It wasn’t that I was a great disappointment compared to my siblings, it was that they invited Dad into their lives.I hadn’t because I just assumed he wasn’t interested.For him, he felt rejected.Like I didn’t want his input.Like I didn’t want…him.Neither of us talked about it and just went on with this wall between us, based on very wrong assumptions of how the other felt.”

“Wow.” It was the silliest response to Clayton’s confession, but it was all she could muster.

“I know.”He kissed her forehead.“I can’t be angry with you for what you did because it broke that wall down.There are times we overstep for the people we care about, and you did a little, but I’m thankful you did.If you hadn’t, I don’t think my dad and I would have had the talk we had last night.”

“I’m glad you two talked.I am sorry, though.”Her earnest eyes tethered to his appreciative stare.

“Make me a promise.”His command was gentle and sweet.

“What?”

“I know you mean well, but next time, talk to me before you have a conversation that I should be having.I’m glad you did it, but next time talk to me before you pick up your sword. Also, be your own dragon slayer. Fight for yourself the way you fight for everyone else.Ask for what you want.”

“That’s two things.You saidApromise.” A teasing smile quirked.

Despite the playful smirk, thoughtfulness shaded his gray eyes. “Well, then two.”

“I’ll try.”She agreed, her voice a whispered promise.

---