Page 77 of Coming Home

She knew that as Noah would never let her fall, she’d never let him. Even if there was a part of her that knew she’d already fallen and there was no way she’d ever be able to get back up.

“Noah,” she said with breathless want. The words were trapped inside her, not ready to come out. But her body could express every syllable. Every unsaid feeling that filled her chest.

“I know, baby. I know what you need. What I need,” he rasped, trailing kisses down her neck.

She submerged herself into his exploring mouth. Its heat raked down her, licking down her breasts to her belly button and lower. Her back arched. Every inch of her pulsed awake, yearning for more.

Threading her fingers in his silken hair, she guided him to where she wanted him. A greedy shiver slid through her with thefirst lick against her clit. With every flick of tongue, and hard suck, wildfire blazed within her. The delicious pressure spooled tighter and tighter…until she exploded.

Aftershocks still rolled through her as he plunged deep inside her. She dug her nails into his back. The satisfying fullness of him inside her engulfed her. He pulled back out, stealing away that fullness she craved. Just as she opened her mouth to protest, he drove back into her.

She gasped an unintelligible stream of curses. Tension-filled pleasure seized her.

“You like that, baby?” he growled.

“Yes,” she whimpered as he did it again.

With a relentless rhythm, he tipped her closer to the edge. Shifting their position, he draped her legs over his shoulders, seating himself completely in her.

The coiled pleasure was almost too much…Almost.

“Noah!” she screamed, her limp arms and legs clung to him, fearing that if she let go, she’d be lost.

“Fuck,” he grunted and collapsed in a sated heap atop her.

Uncurling her legs from his shoulders, he pulled out of her. Cradled close, his fingers soothed along her spine. Despite the settling breaths, emotions thrummed within her. This man was becoming both the anchor that kept her grounded and the balloon that allowed her to fly. He’d always been there, but now it was so much more than it had been and what she’d dreamed it could be.

“You always have me,” she murmured, caressing his cheek

His piercing gaze bore into her. “And I always will. Just as you’ll always have me” A reverent kiss sealed their joint declaration.

He had her, and she had him. They had each other.

Satiated and quiet, they lay in each other’s arms. The pads of his fingers skated along her spine. Each stroke punctuated their mutual belonging; her with him and he with her.

“The dreams don’t come every night,” Noah whispered, breaking their silent post-sex cocoon.

His gaze shifted to the ceiling. She followed, allowing her stare to meander along the white crown molding. Streaks of light from the half-closed curtains crisscrossed with the lingering shadows of the dim room.

“Most nights, I don’t sleep. I think because I’m trying to avoid the dreams from coming. I’m never sure when they’ll come. There are things that trigger panic attacks or nightmares. Certain smells…campfires and cooking meat…” He swallowed hard, cutting himself off.

She wove her fingers into the dark hair peppering his chest. “You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, but I can handle it if you want to tell me about it.”

He turned his head, looking at her. “I know you can. You’re my warrior.”

They lay there for another hour talking. Noah shared his burdens with her. How the dreams would sneak in like a thief in the night, stealing away restful peace. How certain triggers, stressful events, or anniversaries caused his symptoms to flare. There were tricks and exercises he used to cope with his PTSD. How he’d never been able to fall into a restful sleep after a panic attack like he’d done last night.

“Why do you think you were able to sleep last night?” she asked.

His fingers traced along her hairline. “You. I told you…you’re my lighthouse, guiding me out of the darkness. Once I found you, I knew I was safe.”

The proclamation stole her breath. He said he wanted to be her everything, but at that moment, she realized that she washis everything. Nat snuggled in tight. If she could have crawled inside Noah, she would have. But she also knew that she couldn’t save him from this.

“I don’t think it was just me. I helped, but I didn’t?—"

He stole her words with a tender kiss. “I know. As much as I feel safe with you, I know that our relationship won’t cure my PTSD. I still need to do the work to manage it. I have an appointment with my VA counselor this week. I never miss my appointments.”

“When did you first start seeing a counselor?”

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