Page 67 of Coming Home

She pressed harder into him, instinct telling her he needed it or, maybe, it was just for herself.

“We ran across a series of IEDs.” He swallowed hard. “There were no survivors in the first few vehicles.”

“Was this how you were injured?”

He nodded and swallowed hard. “I woke up on the roadside, a searing pain in my leg and the smell of burning…”

Nat placed her hand on his heart. Something pulsed in her to remind him that, at this moment, his heart was safe in her hands. That she was there to carry his story…his pain, just as he’d done for her.

“Martin was there. The Navy Corpsman that nobody wanted to sit by patched us up and got us out of there…those of us who were still alive. Ten of us made it.”

“How many…”

“There were thirty in the convoy.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I didn’t find out about Seth until I was transported from the field hospital to Germany. If I had let him lose…” His voice cracked, and he coughed to cover the emotion. “If I’d let him lose, he’d have been on that flight to Germany. He’d be alive.”

“But you’d be gone.” The words flew out of her, almost like a scolding.

Quiet fury boiled inside her. How dare he think that! How dare he even consider a world where he wasn’t here?

Noah pressed a hand to her cheek. “Not like that. I don’t regret surviving. I don’t regret the gift I have to live, but I do feel guilt that my gift came at the expense of someone else.”

“You were just helping a friend. There’s no way you could have known that would happen.”

His fingers traced along her hairline. “Just like you didn’t know that would happen to Evan when he left for his run.”

“It’s not the same…I made a decision that cost him his life.” She sat up.

Noah followed, pulling her back into his arms. “So did I. We both made choices. Baby, we both feel guilty for our choices, but we didn’t make it happen. I didn’t cause the road to be lined with IEDs. You weren’t the reason that overworked truck driver dozed off at the wheel. You didn’t make Evan run on the country roads instead of at the park. Evan ran those roads all the time despite your parents telling him not to.”

The tears fell again. Tears for Evan. Tears for Noah. For Seth and the nineteen other Marines lost, and the semi-truck driver who had to live with what he’d not meant to do. Tears for her parents and Clayton. Tears for herself.

“Evan loved you so much. Clayton was already a big brother when you were born, but Evan became one because of you. It was like you fulfilled all his dreams. I remember him being so excited to have a little sister. He’d annoy Clayton, saying he would be a better big brother than him.”

“He was a really good big brother,” she sniffled.

“I know Evan wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. I know people say things like that, but I am confident about this because I knew Evan. All he ever wanted for you was for you to be happy. To be all that he knew you could be. All that you are.”

Nat swiped away her tears, allowing the memories to wash over her like a cleansing shower. Evan helping her study for the SATs, laughing about how they’d be the Dr. Owens duo of Perry. His twenty-first birthday where he snuck her a hard cider, and they sat in the gazebo after Mom and Dad went to bed, toasting to his first legal drink and her first illegal one. The morning before the accident when Evan tried to teach her how to make pancakes and, of course, she burnt them, so they toasted Pop-tarts and drizzled syrup on them.

“Guilt is a powerful master. It not only keeps us locked in, but when we finally escape, it pulls us back in time and time again,” he murmured, skimming his fingers along her back. “I wish I could take the pain away from you so you didn’t hurt like this anymore, but I can’t…What I can do is share it with you. Let me share your sadness, your struggles, your happiness, your laughter…let me be here with you and for you.”

“My warrior,” she whispered, pressing her hand on his cheek.

“Your everything.” He took her hand, placing it back on his heart.

The cadence of his heartbeat roared like a bass drum, loud and commanding in its declaring beat. The air exited her lungs in a swift jolt. Noah wasn’t promising everything, he was offering it. He was offering himself. All of him for her…only for her.

“My everything? So, you’re the Swiss Army knife of boyfriends then.” Her lips curled in a teasing smile.

“Boyfriend?” His right eyebrow arched.

“Well, it stands to reason that if you are myeverythingthat would include boyfriend.” She tapped her chin in mock thought. “Personal chef. Snowplow guy in the winter. Giver of orgasms year-round.”

Laughter pulsed through him. “Yes. All of those things and much more.” He dipped his head, sealing their mouths in a reverent kiss.

“Sorry. Not to be like a teenager handing you a check ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ note in study hall, but we are saying that I”–she motioned to herself—“am your girlfriend and you”—she motioned to him—“are my boyfriend. Correct?”

“Yes.” He raised his hand as if taking an oath. “I, Noah James Wilson, do solemnly swear that I am the sole boyfriend of Dr. Natalie Joan Owens.”

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