Page 11 of Rune

My heart was cavernous, and everything was numb.

The hurt of losing Trig stung, but the wound went deeper. Now I placed my finger on why it hurt so bad.

I asked for so little. All I wanted was him. She had the world and I… My chest ached.

I just wanted him.

I resisted looking up to the gods, for surely by now, they had turned their faces away from me.

She never said she wanted him.

“It’s an honor to join our families together,”Trig said.

“The honor is ours!”Faðir’svoice came happier than it had in years. Beside him,Móðirwas beaming. She was finally getting her son.

I had to see Trig’s face. I inched closer to the doorway, even as Sigrid sent me another warning look. By now, all my other sisters had spotted me and were looking between Sigrid and me with confusion. I only needed them to be quiet long enough to get my clarity.

I finally got the right angle to see Jarl Hakan as he licked his fingers. “My wife has already begun planning the wedding festival,” he said. “The whole clan will gather to witness.”

My heart sank further. I’d have to watch them get married. I’d have to grow up in the same clan with them, watching them have children and fight in battles side by side.

I leaned as far as I could. At that moment, Trig turned his face and I caught the side of it, along with the sight of his hand. It was holding another’s.

Tova was there already. Trig held her hand like it was keeping him alive, and she smiled at him like he was the sun.Traitor, I thought. But in the same breath,I’ve never seen her look happy like that.

Unfortunately, or perhaps mercifully, I’d missed the moment he asked her to marry him, so I couldn’t sift through the inflections of his voice. But I didn’t miss the joy in my sister’s. “I can hardly wait.”

Trig squeezed her hand. “Together, I believe we will make the clan strong, and with the gods’ blessing, nothing will tear us apart.” His words were the final blow, and the crack in my heart fully shattered.

That’s what he’d been worried about the entire time I’d known him, even when he was a child. He wanted to make the clan strong. His question the night of the autumn equinox bit at my mind:I just want to be a good chieftain.Evidently, he wanted that more than he wanted me.

Tova could secure his position better than I could, for who would dare stand against the girl marked by the gods?

Sigrid looked at me, and mouthed sorry. I couldn’t respond.

Just one last look, then I’d go. I glanced at Tova first. She fidgeted in her seat, but had leaned her frame inward to Trig’s with a hopeful smile. I already knew I’d be reanalyzing every interaction between them to uncover how long she’d been interested in him.

I shut my eyes.

When I opened them, they were fixed on Trig, and he was looking at me.

FivE

TRIG’S MOUTH PRESSED tight, his back tensed, and his eyes remained frustratingly void of emotion. Ever so slightly, his shoulders raised, then fell down again. An apology, maybe. A poor one. He wouldn’t find forgiveness in my face. If he looked too hard, he’d see the confusion, hurt, and numbness, but those weren’t things I wanted him to see. Since they were all I had to offer, I pulled away. I backed up, slowly at first, just until the prickly leaves ofMóðir’sturnips scratched my ankles, then I turned and fled.

I ran from it all.

Branches slashed at my face until I reached the open beach, then it was the wind snagging at my hair and knocking against my chest until I was staggering along the rocks that led up the mountainside, losing my footing and my mind at the same time. I slipped and accidentally drovemy side into rocks hard enough that it would cut, but I clamped my hand over the wound and kept going.

Even as my head was dizzy, I pushed on.

Even as my vision was blinded by tears, I pushed on.

Even as my breathing was shallow, I pushed on.

On and on.

Gods, I’d been thrilled to be the girl he called his.The splintered moonlight hit against the mountain as I turned upward, starting the trek between two peaks. I had little direction in mind other than away. Air rattled in my chest until I could hardly breathe. My side roared with pain from where I’d cut it on rocks, and with each step it burned harder.

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