Page 72 of His Runaway Duchess

Clarissa considered this. “You could well be right,” she conceded. “But whatever the purpose of the wall, it will take time to come down, don’t you think? If it comes down at all, that is.”

Daphne flinched at this. She had, of course, considered that perhaps the outward facade Edward showed the world wasallthere was and that she was simply waiting for the appearance of a person who did not exist.

“I understand him being afraid for his son and angry that I might have put him in danger,” she said, her voice wobbling, “but truly, Clarissa, I sometimes think that he hates me. I can do nothing right, and now we are married, and there’s no way for either of us to change our minds about anything.”

She cast a quick glance at the woman, wondering if she’d said too much.

Clarissa did not seem angry or upset, however. She was only staring off thoughtfully into space, a thin line between her eyebrows.

“I know how it can feel,” she said at last, “worrying about one’s children. It can overpower everything else. I remember how I felt about mine, even before she was born.”

Daphne blinked, taking a moment to realize what had been said. “You have a child, Clarissa? I had no idea! A girl, you said? Where is she?”

It was the wrong thing to say.

Clarissa’s face crumpled, and she turned away to disguise a rush of emotion.

“My baby died,” she said shortly. “I barely even held her. It was sudden. There was no comfort for me. Nothing that could have made it better.”

Daphne swallowed hard. “I am so sorry, Clarissa. I… I can’t even imagine how that might feel for you.”

Clarissa gave a light, one-shouldered shrug. “When I married Edward’s father, I thought I might have another chance at motherhood. I had known the late Duchess, you know. We were friends. Our lives were very similar in many respects, except in a few key areas. For example, I lived and my baby died, whereas hers survived and she did not. I thought perhaps I would take her place as Edward’s mother, but he never…” she trailed off, and the silence stretched out between them for a few heartbeats.

“He never accepted me fully,” she finished. “Edward cares for me, I know that, and he respects me, but he’s never forgotten his birth mother. Isn’t it ridiculous?” she said, suddenly letting out a bark of laughter that made Daphne jump. “He never evenmetthe woman, and yet he mourns her. That was his father’s fault, constantly throwing the Duchess’s death in his face.”

“It’s cruel,” Daphne managed, feeling that she had to say something. “He sounds like a cruel man and a bad father.”

Clarissa smiled limply. “Hewasa bad father. And the late Duchess would have been a bad mother, I daresay. She never deserved Edward.”

There was another silence, a little grittier this time.

Daphne shifted, beginning to feel uncomfortable. “What do you mean, she didn’t deserve him?”

Clarissa shook her head. “Oh, nothing. Forgive me, I’m reminiscing. I tend to talk about the past for too long. Edward never listens, and Alex is too young. It’s good to find a willing ear.”

Daphne, who would not have described her ears as any variation ofwilling, gave a wan smile.

“It is a mistake to try and take the place of another in a family in that way,” Clarissa continued after a pause, staring off into the distance again. “I learned that the hard way. Now, forme, there was no question of leaving, of going back to a beloved family home. You could do that, Daphne, if things became too difficult. You have a fine family who would accept you back, and now that you’re married, your reputation is restored. Well, mostly restored, at least.”

Daphne cleared her throat. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable. There was an edge to Clarissa’s voice that made her wonder whether the woman wasn’t simply here to comfort her, but to get some point across.

“I thought that my being here could help,” she heard herself say. “I could make things better between them, maybe convince Edward to?—”

“No,” Clarissa interrupted crisply.

The single word seemed to reverberate through the room, echoing and bouncing off the walls.

Daphne stared at Clarissa, baffled. Clarissa’s expression shifted for a moment, then she broke into a forced smile.

“Forgive me, I’m just… Well, I care so much about them, you know. But you should take my advice, Daphne. Get out while you can. I’m not sure if there’s anything you could do to help.”

Daphne swallowed, trying for a nervous smile.

“Clarissa, you know I am notcompetingfor Edward and Alex’s affection, don’t you? You’re a beloved stepmother and grandmother. I could never take their love from you.”

Clarissa abruptly got to her feet. Perhaps it was Daphne’s imagination, but the temperature in the library seemed to have dropped a chilly ten degrees or so.

“Of course, we are not in competition, Daphne,” she said, laughing. “What a silly idea. What a silly girl you are.”

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