Page 49 of His Duchess' Wicked List

She realized, quite suddenly, that it wasn’t even personal. Yes, he had been playing with her, but he would never have married her anyway. He didn’t want to marry anyone, and his obstinacy on the matter wouldn’t change, even if he met the woman of his dreams—which she was clearly not. What wound had been inflicted on him that was so gaping, so large, that it simply would not heal?

She knew it had something to do with his late father and the scandal that had erupted upon his death. He didn’t like his father. He didn’t want to be reminded of him at all. And now, she cursed the fact that she hadn’t pressed Selina for the details of what had happened all those years ago. It might tell her what she desperately wanted to know.

What sheneededto know.

“I am no coward,” Daniel growled. “I choose to live my life the way that I wish to live it. I refuse to let Society dictate my life. That is courage, My Lady,notcowardice. You told me that you wish to live a full life, an adventurous life, but Society constrains you. Tell me, is it better to live in a gilded cage or fly free?”

“You have not answered the question.” She glared at him. “You waffle on about freedom, and that it is your choice, but I see a man who is running from something. A man who is gripped by compulsion. Is that true freedom, or is it just another cage?”

They scowled at each other. Maddie was shocked to discover that they were merely inches away from each other again. She had been so consumed by anger that she hadn’t even noticed.

It suddenly struck her that they were alone in her chambers. The door was locked. And even though Selina had said that she would keep watch,anyonecould arrive at any moment, banging on that door.Someonealready knew what they were doing.

If she was discovered with him, it would be the end of her. Once again, it was all intellectual for him—hewasn’t the one who would be ruined by it. He didn’t evenwantto marry!

“I am leaving,” she repeated, her chest heaving. “I will see you at your wedding, Your Grace.”

She brushed past him, back to her trunk, to resume her packing. Now, she was flinging garments into it, one after the other, a blur of crumpled fabric. A part of her was pained by it. Her beautiful gowns were going to be so creased by the time she made it back to London.

“What the deuce are you doing?” His voice was close. So close that she jumped involuntarily. “You cannot leave. Youmustnot leave!”

“Watch me,” she challenged, glancing up at him as she stuffed her favorite pink gown into the trunk. “You cannot stop me!”

Suddenly, his hands were on her, pulling her up. He swung her around. They were both breathing heavily, sounding as if they had just been running a mile.

He swore, pulling her closer so that she fell against his chest. Her body instinctively responded to him. Her nipples hardened. She felt a jolt of desire course through her, stronger than anything she had ever felt before.

Oh, Lord,how can I resist? How can I resist the man that I love?

She knew it was hopeless. She knew there was no chance for them. He had claimed he cared about her in his own peculiar way, but it amounted to nothing. He hadn’t declared that he couldn’t live without her, and he hadn’t begged her to marry him, so as to circumvent any of it.

She knew that he would probably be pressured to marry her sister. She knew that she would probably be pressured to marry his cousin. But at that moment, none of it mattered.

It was the last chance to be with him before the real world burst their bubble. Her very last chance to lie in the arms of the man she loved.

She would seize this moment. There would be no other.

When his lips found hers, she shuddered, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer still, reveling in this final contact with him, before it all must end. Her body knew it, too, leaping to life, pulsing with a hunger that was insatiable.

She would always have this memory, at least. And it must be enough.

CHAPTER 20

“Ican pretend you are mine,” Maddie breathed, briefly pulling away from his fiery lips. “For the very last time.”

She didn’t realize she had spoken the words aloud until his face changed. His grey eyes darkened to the color of slate. He reached out, touching her bottom lip with his thumb.

“I want you,” he growled. “I want you so much. I feel as if I will die if I do not have you.”

“Then take me,” she whispered, her head dizzy with desire, the rawness of the moment, her reckless abandon. “For I want you as well.”

His eyes shone with joy as well as desire. “It willnotbe the last time,” he promised, his voice full of conviction. “It is just the beginning.”

Maddie didn’t contradict him, but she knew it wasn’t the truth. It was the end for them, not the beginning. He didn’t want to admit it at that moment, but he would see eventually that it was for the best.

She had meant what she said. She was offering herself to him. She wanted him to take her completely. Perhaps she would regret it, in the fullness of time, but she doubted it.

I will always have the memory. I will always know that my very first time was with the man I love. No one can take that away from me.

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