She felt color rushing to her face. Stupid, girlish blushes, undermining everything she wanted to say and everything she wanted to be.
“You don’t trust me enough to open up to me,” she found herself saying, at last. “I suppose I thought that it might change.”
Theo carefully hung the poker back in its place. The metal scraped against the stone of the hearth, just enough to set Anna’s teeth on edge. The fire was burning well now, the reborn flames devouring the scandal sheets and leaving no scraps.
“Tell me, Anna, what is it you wish to hear? I’m quite at a loss. I thought we had discussed all this. I thoughtImade myself clear. This is a marriage of convenience, yes? We discussed all possibleendings, and we agreed on a set of rules. Perhaps we have bent those rules a little more than we should have, and now we are paying the price. Let me repeat what I said. This is amarriage of convenience. Children are a necessity, and the act must be completed to achieve that. We have only done what we agreed on. What part of our relationship did you think would change?”
A lump formed in Anna’s throat. She didn’t believe she had ever felt so stupid as she had at that moment. Whathadshe thought would change? Theo had never lied to her, never promised more than he intended to give. As he’d said earlier, she had overstepped her boundaries in more ways than one.
She’d started to believe that a serviceable friendship meant more and that sharing a bed out of necessity meant that she… that shemeant more.
As if reading her thoughts, Theo heaved a sigh. “I see. I should have known. I was foolish to believe that even a clever woman like yourself could ever be content with such an arrangement. Only the coldest and most highly-bred women can submit to true marriages of convenience.”
“I know what our arrangement was,” Anna spoke up, her voice tight, “but I thought… I thought things had changed.”
Theo took a step towards her, smelling of smoke, newsprint, and burned paper. She recoiled unconsciously, and he paused.
“A marriage of convenience,” he repeated heavily. “Just because we desire each other on occasions—a fact I won’t deny—doesnot mean that there is something more than cool friendship between us. There is not. Desire makes things easier, but it can complicate them too, as we’re both learning now. We must still produce an heir, after all. There might be one already…” His gaze flickered down to her stomach. “But then again, there might not.”
An heir. The furtherance of his family name, of his title, of his estate. Anna was only ever a vessel for such a child, wasn’t she? Her hands crept up to her stomach, although it would be impossible to know whether she was with child or not. It was possible she was, even after one night together.
The thought only filled her with hollowness, not the joy she’d anticipated.
She licked her dry lips. “I… I see.”
Theo’s expression hardened. “Oh, you see, do you? What do you see?”
Her anger flared. “I can see that you’re exactly the same as the worst men I’ve known, the ones that call themselves gentlemen but have no claim on the name. You are the sort of man who takes what he wants, and to hell with what anybody else thinks or feels. And then, even after all that, you have the audacity to claim thatyouare the one who was used, thatyouwere the one badly done by. You’re a liar and fool, Theo. I trusted you. I trusted you with my past and my future, and you threw it all back in my face.”
He flinched back as if he’d been slapped. For a split second, she thought she saw hurt in his eyes, but then it was gone, and the flat, implacable mask was back. She was sure she’d imagined it.
“How very dramatic of you,” he remarked drily. “I don’t think this little outburst changes anything, though. Do you? We are still married, and we still have to produce a little duke. Perhaps it would be best to put all of this behind us and move forward with a greater understanding of each other. What do you say?”
She swallowed reflexively. Her throat was dry, and tears pricked her eyes. Tears of anger, of frustration, and… and something else she didn’t care to name.
Nobody ever warned me that it would hurt so much.
“I think I would like to go home,” she said after a long pause, her voice quivering.
“Home?” he echoed, a flash of confusion crossing his face. It didn’t stay there long. “Ah, I see. You mean your mother’s house?”
Anna nodded, her mouth closed like a trap. If she opened her mouth now, she was afraid she would burst into tears, and they would never stop.
Theo took a step back, straightening his waistcoat. “If you like. You’re no prisoner. Go home, if you must, but remember that you are the Duchess of Langdon now, and nothing will everchange that. That includes you being my wife. Take time to compose yourself. I would be obliged if you didn’t tell the staff and Kitty why you are leaving.”
She nodded, still not daring to speak. Biting the inside of her cheek, she managed to stave off her tears for a little longer.
Theo was watching her, his gaze oddly intent and shuttered. She didn’t know what he was thinking. She never did. Once, she’d fooled herself into thinking that shedidunderstand him, and look at where that had led. Crying over a man who’d never felt a twinge of affection for her, who did not care whether she lived with him or her mother.
Anna had almost forgotten what had started all this.
It seemed unlikely that Theo was going to speak again. He stood there, his arms limp at his sides, watching her with that inscrutable look, and Anna suddenly felt as though she could not endure another minute of it.
Turning on her heel, she strode out of the room, leaving the door ajar. There were no footmen or servants in the hallway, for which she was relieved. Pressing a hand to her mouth, Anna hiked up her skirts and began to race towards the stairs, keen to get up to her room before her tears spilled over.
She could have sworn she heard a step behind her, heard a strangled cry ofAnna, but when she paused, one foot on the bottom step, and turned to look behind her, nobody was there.
She knew what she was hoping for. It was a foolish dream. She hoped that Theo would come running out of the dining room, his face anguished, and would fling himself at her feet and beg for forgiveness, telling her that he really did love her and he wanted them to be a proper husband and wife, not that grubby littlemarriage of conveniencebusiness.