Page 76 of A Bride for the Rakish Duke

“I suppose you think you are amusing?” she chided, stepping out onto the rear terrace that overlooked the most exquisite rose gardens. Joanna’s pride and joy.

Will sat on the balustrade as if he had been carved in that position—a perfect statue to be admired by anyone passing by and the envy of sculptors everywhere.

“I do not think any of this is amusing, kitten,” he replied, standing up.

She had forgotten just how tall he was, but he made no move to come closer, keeping a polite distance between them.

“Well?” she said curtly. “I thought you said you wanted to apologize, though I should warn you that it will change nothing.”

His brow creased, but he did not say a word. He merely looked at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world, but there was a sadness in his eyes, as if he knew that he had lost her.

“If you are eager to apologize,” she continued haltingly, “then you must know the reason why you are apologizing. I assume you encountered your former lover at Stonebridge? I did tell her to stay in the drawing room. Your child is… perfect. Truly, she is. The eyes, they are entirely yours, though I hope she does not possess any of your other traits.”

Will smiled. “Sheisperfect, but she is not my child.”

“Oh, do not try to deceive me now, Will,” Lydia shot back, her heart pounding. “It shall not work. Your lover told me everything.”

“My ‘lover,’ as you call her, is someone I have never met until today,” Will replied evenly. “She was cloistered away while she was expecting, and as such, she had not heard that my father was dead.Heis the Duke that Beatrice was referring to. The child is my sister.”

Lydia stared at him in disbelief, a chill running through her veins. Her mouth opened and closed, but her mind could not formulate anything to say while her heart made somersaults in her chest.

She thought back through everything Beatrice had said to her when they had encountered one another by the porch, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not recall a moment where Beatrice had mentioned Will by name. Shehadjust said “the Duke.” And shehadsaid that she had been sent away when she discovered she was with child. But how could she not have heard that her lover was dead if what Will was saying was true?

“You may ask my mother if you do not believe me,” Will said. “I had to interrupt the beginning of a brawl when I returned to the manor after you departed. Apparently, my mother knew about her and had warned her to stay away. But what mother would not do anything and everything to protect their child?”

His expression was pinched slightly, as if there was more to those words than the obvious.

“But while Idowant to apologize for the misunderstanding and take you over my knee for being so stubborn about leaving without talking further, there is something else I must apologize for first,” he continued, sinking to his knees on the terrace.

Lydia shook away the shock of what she had heard. “Get up, Will.”

“It is vital that I apologize to you for trying to stay away and for trying to condemn you to a loveless marriage.” He stayed where he was, on his knees. “I am sorry for trying to condemn us both when the truth is, Lydia, I want the very opposite.”

CHAPTER 32

“What do you mean?” Lydia gasped, her heart thundering so hard in her chest that she wondered if Will could hear it too.

He smiled up at her, but there was a glimmer of something less confident in his gaze, as if he were afraid. “All I have ever known of women is what I witnessed—or thought I witnessed. I was not blessed with happy parents brought together in a union of love. Most of the time, it was as if they were shackled together and were blaming one another for losing the key.

“But what I thought I saw was not the truth. When I spoke of a mother doing anything to protect her child, I was also referring to my own. I now believe that she shielded Anthony and me, in a manner of speaking, from our father’s behavior. She did not want us to hate him, I suppose, and she did not want to reveal her own vulnerability—that she loved a man who did not love her in return.”

Lydia took a small step forward, offering her hands to help Will to his feet. He reached out to grasp them, but he did not rise. Instead, he brought one of her hands to his lips and kissed it softly.

“In trying to protect her own heart, my mother made a monster out of me,” he said, lifting his gaze to Lydia’s once more. “I thought all women were untrustworthy and disloyal and deceitful, so I vowed that when I married, I would set all the rules out clearly, so there could be no hurt on either side. I vowed to protect my heart by allowing no expectations. Perhaps I am more like my mother than I thought in that regard.”

Lydia’s heart hurt at his revelations, for his voice was thick with emotion, and there was such pain in his eyes that she longed to do nothing more than kiss his agony away. It was ridiculous, in a way, for not five minutes ago, she had been imagining her life without him, her anger so potent that she had wanted to slap him again for breaking her heart.

A misunderstanding. A terrible misunderstanding.

She dreaded to think what might have happened if she had not come to Bruxton Hall and had gone directly to her sister instead, putting more days and distance between them. And what if she had refused to come down to speak with him? What if he had given up and gone back to Stonebridge? The very notion brought tears to her eyes.

“I still do not understand what you are trying to say,” she said with a strangled laugh. “For once, you are not being very plain with me.”

He sighed, pulling her hand to his chest, where he let her palm rest above his thudding heart. “What I am saying, my darling wife, is that I have been a coward. I knew that I was beginning to feel something for you, so I shunned you. I was… afraid of you hurting me, scarring me in a way I would not recover from. I was afraid of having a marriage like that of my mother and father, but I now know that it would be impossible.”

“And why is that?” Lydia whispered, her heart in her throat.

“Because I care for you. All I care for is you. When I thought I had lost you,thatwas a scar I would never recover from,” he explained. “I have been a prized fool, kitten, but I plan to remedy that. I plan to love you so fiercely, so utterly, that you will not ever need to look for love elsewhere. You will never feel a lack of it as long as you are with me.”

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