Page 48 of In It to Win It

Mom’s eyes flicker to Dad, then back to me. She twists her hands together on her lap. “We’ve decided to separate. It’s a mutual decision. We want you to know it has nothing to do with you.”

My mind is spinning. I can’t make sense of this. “You’ve been married for over thirty years!”

“I know. It hasn’t been easy coming to this decision. But it’s for the best.”

“But . . . why?” I stare at her, then Dad, who can’t even meet my eyes. He looks like he’s going to cry.

“We’ve agreed that we won’t discuss the details with you and Amy.”

“Amy! Does she know about this?”

“We’re going to Skype with her right away.”

“Oh my God.” Shaking my head, I set my plate down on the coffee table. I can’t eat it now. My throat is clogged up. This can’t be happening. This really can’t be happening.

I look back and forth between them, seeing the anguish on both their faces. “What about some counseling?”

“We’ve been for counseling,” Dad says in a choked voice.

“It did help us come to terms with things,” Mom adds, her voice also thick. “And to decide how and when to tell you and your sister.”

“You can’t do this.” I look between them again. “You can’t lose everything you’ve shared all these years.”

“We don’t lose that,” she says gently. “We’ll always have that. We’ll always have our two beautiful daughters and all the memories.”

“But . . .” I don’t even know what to say. It’s horrendous. Unspeakable. After thirty-two years of marriage, you’d think they’d made it through everything. I can’t comprehend this. At all. “It’s because of me. Isn’t it? If I move out, will that help? I mean, I can’t really afford it, but if it will save your marriage, I’ll do it.”

Mom’s eyes get wet. “No, sweetie. That’s not it. It’s not because of you.”

My heart throbs painfully, not entirely convinced. I don’t want this to happen. I’ll do anything to keep this from happening. “But your future . . . retirement . . . what are you going to do?”

“Well.” Mom bites her lip. “That’s another thing we need to talk about. I’m going to move out. We need to sell the house.”

“Sell the house?” My voice rises.

“Yes.” She shifts in her chair. “Neither of us can afford to buy the other out.”

“But . . . we love this house.”

“Yes,” she says sadly. “We do. That makes it even harder. But again . . . we’ll always have the memories of living here, of you two girls growing up here.”

My chest hurts so much I press a hand there. My eyes burn. “Where are you going?” I look at Mom.

“I’m going to stay with Shirley.”

I nod slowly. Her best friend. “Okay.” I suck on my bottom lip, then look at Dad. “I can stay here for a while?”

“Of course!” His eyes are red. “I’ve already found an apartment. The house is going on the market tomorrow and it should sell quickly. You can stay with me here or at my apartment if it takes you a while to find a place of your own.”

Tomorrow. Holy shit. I swallow. “O-okay.” I stand. “I need to leave.”

“Taylor . . .”

“I’m okay.” Almost blind with tears, I manage to find Byron’s leash. “Byron! C’mere, boy! Let’s go for our walk.”

Seeing his leash, he prances up to me all happy from where he was lying on the carpet.

“Good boy,” I choke out. “You’re a good boy.” Then I pause in clipping the leash to his collar. I straighten. “What about Byron?”

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