Page 36 of Play to Win

Ah, what the hell.I grab some of the crunchy treats.

I try to eat healthy, other than that year after I got injured, when I ate my weight in junk food every week, not to mention I drank gallons of booze, trying to drown my sorrows.But I’ve gotten back to the way I learned to eat when I was playing, lots of protein and veggies.I’ve seen former players pack on the pounds, and I don’t want to end up like that.I work out to stay in shape, and even still play hockey when I can.Truthfully, it’s not just to stay in shape.Ihaveto be active or I’d go nuts.

I’ll have to find a beer league in L.A.to join.

“Tell me a joke,” Lacey says.

I shake my head.“I’m not very good at jokes.”

“You must know one.”

“Okay.A chemist, a physicist, and a statistician go hunting.”

“I can’t imagine you hunting.”

“I don’t really hunt.Anyway, the chemist shoots at a deer and misses it by five feet to the left.The physicist shoots and misses by five feet to the right.The statistician throws down his gun and yells, ‘We got him!’”

She frowns.“I don’t get it.”

“Because it’s the mean of five feet to the right and five feet to the left, get it?”

“Oh.Yeah.”

“I told you I’m bad at jokes,” I mutter.

“Okay let’s play more Would You Rather.Let’s make it the sexy edition.”

My eyes fly open.“Uh ...”

“So ...would you rather walk in on your parents having sex or have them walk in on you?”

“Oh man.Neither.”

“You have to pick one.”

I think through the pros and cons of each.Finally, I say, “I’d rather walk in on them.”

“That took a long time.”

“I like to be sure I’m making the right choice.”

“Hmm.Your turn.”

“I have no fucking clue what to ask.”

“You did good with the beach versus hot tub question.”

“Huh.Okay, would you rather talk dirty over the phone or send dirty texts?”

“Oh easy.Dirty texts.”

Do I have that to look forward to?Oh wait.Fake marriage.

“Would you rather walk in on your best friend naked or have him walk in on you naked?”

“Phht.I’ve seen my best friend naked lots of times.And he’s seen me.”

“Oooh.Tell me more.”

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