Page 118 of Play to Win

“Jesus!”I glare at him.Then I sag, my head dropping.“I’m fucked.”

“How so, bro?”

I can tell he’s keeping his tone deliberately casual, and I’m grateful, because he’s right ...I might cry.

“You’re right,” I mumble to the table.“I love her.I want her back.”

“Say what?”

“You heard me.”

He chuckles.“I did.”He drinks his beer.“So tell her that.”

“She wants a divorce.”

“Hmmm.I don’t believe that.”

I lift my head and peer at him through burning eyes.“Why not?”

He lifts one shoulder.“Just the things she said when we were talking.The way she talks about you.She’s crazy about you.”

“She hates me.”

“You hurt her feelings, man.”

I bury my face in my hands.“I did.She makes me lose my mind.I do crazy things around her.Things that aren’t like me.”

“Being horny makes you impulsive.That’s why.”

“That’s ridiculous.”I lift my head to frown at him.

He looks affronted.“No, it’s not.The Japanese even have a word for it—Kenjataimu.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m serious.That’s why you’re supposed to jerk off before making important decisions.”

“I’ve gone my whole life without knowing this.”

He chuckles.“Come on, every guy knows that rubbing one out is good stress relief.”

“True.”But no ...it’s not just sex.“She makes me ...I don’t know.She makes me want more.She makes me want to make her happy ...even if it means jumping into a pool with my clothes on.”

“What?”His forehead creases.

“Never mind.”

“Okay, what are you going to do now?About Lacey?”

I probably don’t deserve her.All my life, I’ve felt like I don’t deserve the things I want.But I can’t think like that.She’s too important.I can’t let her go that easily, without at least trying.I square my shoulders.“I need a plan.”

“Of course you do.”He lifts his beer.“I expect nothing less from you.How can I help?”

26

LACEY

I’m stretchedout on my bed in the apartment, staring at my penguin.Just looking at it makes me want to cry, but I keep doing it.Basically, I’m torturing myself.

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