Page 125 of Dancing in the Rain

“Nope.”

“But thinking you’re not good enough to be her dad is ridiculous. First of all, youareher dad. Second, you love her. That’s all it takes.”

“No. It takes more than that.”

She studied him with raised eyebrows.

Dammit, she did know stuff. He didn’t know how she knew stuff but she did.

“You’re not a failure because you had to retire from hockey,” she said. “And you’re not a failure as a father if you make mistakes.”

He shifted against the counter.

“You’ve failed before,” she continued.

He frowned.

“Many times. Learning to skate, how many times did you fall down? Too many to count. But you were determined. You got back up and kept going. You missed shots on net. You worked hard to be better. You didn’t make your bantam team your first try. You tried again. For heaven’s sake, Drew. Failure isn’t falling down—it’s falling down and refusing to get up.”

Drew closed his eyes, remembering months back when he’d been drinking and screwing around and fighting in bars…basically not getting back up. Yeah. That was failure.

This was the second woman to give him shit tonight. Jesus.

“Don’t be afraid of failing as a father. You’ll be missing out on so much joy if you don’t even try.”

He let her words run through his head. “I thought I was trying! By fighting for custody of her!”

She winced and tucked some hair behind her ear. “I think if you do that, you might win Chloe…but you’ll lose Peyton.”

He stared at her.

“I know you’re competitive,” she said. “But this kind of competition could be so destructive. In the end, nobody wins. Think about what you’re doing. Think about what you really want. And don’t be afraid of failing atlove. Because you’ll be missing out on so much joy if you don’t even try.”

—

Peyton stood in the foyer, trembling, her eyes closed.

What had just happened? Was he seriously going to try to take Chloe away from her?

She’d already been considering other options, but his words about having her life so planned out, being so focused on her career that she couldn’t look out for Chloe, had felt like a punch in the heart.

She trudged into the living room and sank onto the couch, her head in her hands, trying to sort through her tangled thoughts.

She already knew she couldn’t do that to Chloe. Her chest felt like it was full of hot coals as she thought about what she’d said to Drew…that Sara wouldn’t have changed her mind. And that he hadn’t been adapting to retirement very well.

She shouldn’t have said that. It wasn’t true. He’d been through hell, and he was working hard at it, picking himself up. But she’d been hurt, and protecting her heart had made her lash out.

And she knew that Sara wanted Chloe to know her dad, and even though she hadn’t had a lot of time, she’d accepted Drew and felt comfortable enough that she let him take Chloe on his own. But would she have actually shared custody with him, had she lived?

There was no way to know that. Sara loved her daughter fiercely, but Peyton knew that it was an unselfish love. That Sara wanted the best for Chloe no matter what. It was why she’d allowed Drew into their lives in the first place.

Drew was right. She was the selfish one.

She jumped to her feet and paced to the window. Snow tumbled down from the low clouds obscuring the sky, blanketing the ground in white, clumping on the shrubs.

He was also right about her being rigid. Not wanting to veer from her plan. Trying to protect her own life…her life in New York, her precious career, the plan she had for world domination. Ha.

She leaned her forehead against the icy glass of the window and closed her eyes again as pain nearly took out her knees. What really hurt? That Drew would actually do that…would actually try to take Chloe away from her.

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