Page 93 of Dancing in the Rain

She’d have to sell the house, which would be a huge undertaking, with all the furniture and Sara’s possessions. They’d gone through this once already, after their parents had been killed. Now she had to do it again, Lord help her. Much as she liked to plan, she hadn’t been willing to go there in her mind until now.

Maybe sitting down and actually coming up with a plan for all the things she needed to handle would be a good idea.

Tomorrow.

She’d do it tomorrow.

Exhausted, she turned out the lights and climbed the stairs to her room. The emotion of it all was draining, and she was done in every night, yet she hadn’t been sleeping well.

She missed Drew.

They hadn’t slept together again, obviously, with everything that had occurred, but he’d been around so much she was starting to count on his being there. Which was a very bad thing. There was no point in coming to rely on someone who wasn’t going to always be around.

As she changed into the long T-shirt she wore to bed, she acknowledged another thing that bothered her about moving Chloe to New York—taking her away from Drew. He’d only just come into her life and she was getting to know him, getting closer to him. And he…he loved her.

She slid into bed and shut off the light, then lay there staring at the ceiling.

She had to be practical about this, though. She was Chloe’s guardian. Decisions about these things were up to her and needed to be made with practical considerations. She had a career that was important to her, an apartment, friends…well, not close friends, but still…she had a life.

But she’d seen the sacrifices Sara had made for her daughter. Was she being selfish, thinking about herself and not what was best for Chloe?

This. This was what she’d been terrified of. That when it came right down to it, she wasn’t going to be good enough. That she couldn’t take care of Chloe the way she needed to. She was going to screw it all up.

Her eyes burned, but no tears came.

In the back of her mind, she recognized that grief and exhaustion were influencing her emotions and her thought processes. She just needed time.

Chapter 20

Monday morning Drew roamed around his house, restless and feeling at loose ends. The last few weeks had been so busy, and now…now that things were settling down, he was back to his lonely, worthless life.

Fuck.

Okay, he couldn’t slide back into that black tar pit he’d been in. He just couldn’t. He needed to fucking do something.

Hockey season had started. Since the first game of the season, a couple of days before Red’s party on his yacht, he’d barely been aware of it. He’d mindlessly watched a couple of periods a few evenings when he’d gotten home, beat from running around meeting with the funeral director, ordering flowers, and looking after Chloe while Peyton did a million other things.

The first thing he had to do was call Jack Shipton. It had been over two weeks since he’d first contacted him. They’d played a bit of phone tag, but then Sara had passed away and things had gotten crazy.

He hadn’t been procrastinating on it. Really.

He sighed as he made the call, but once again ended up leaving a voicemail. “Hey, sorry that I disappeared,” he said. “My, uh, daughter’s mother passed away and things have been a bit busy. But I still would like that chance to connect.”

My daughter’s mother? That was fucking weird, but how else was he supposed to describe Sara? My baby mama? The girl I slept with once in college and never saw again but had a child with? My…He paused. My lover’s sister?

Yeah, there was no denying that he’d only spent one night with Peyton, and yet their relationship was so much more than what he’d had with the mother of his child. That night on Red’s yacht was burned into his memory. They’d both known it shouldn’t have happened, but it had and it had been fucking amazing. He’d wanted her for so long, tried to keep his distance even though the sparks burned whenever he got too close to her. He knew she felt the same.

Had he taken advantage of that situation by not speaking up and making sure Red’s wife put them in separate rooms? Maybe. He couldn’t be sorry about that, though.

Too many things had been in the way of their being together since, and he wasn’t sure what that meant. There were still all the reasons it wasn’t a good idea for them to be together—Sara, Chloe, Peyton’s job, and his lack of a job.

For some reason that just made him feel like he had to get his shit together. Because that night with Peyton had beengood,and not just that night, all the time they spent together made him feel like maybe he had some reason for being here; maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t a complete asshole loser.

He drove to the arena, entered through the player entrance, and chatted with Kamon, the security guard there, then sat in the stands with some of the media people, drinking a big cup of coffee while he watched the practice. He grinned at some of the antics, nodded when Gersh made a nice shot on net, frowned at Johnny, who was pissing around, not paying attention. Then he started watching one of the young guys, Dave Acker. He watched him shooting the puck at Booker in the net, Booker easily making save after save. Acker was hitting it harder and harder and still not getting it past Booker.

Drew pursed his lips, watching the young player.Hang on to the puck. Change the angle.He mentally coached the kid. Apparently his telepathic skills weren’t very powerful because Acker didn’t do what he willed him to. Drew shook his head.

It didn’t hurt as much as it had, watching these guys on the ice without him.

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