Page 98 of Hot Shot

Holding Hayden’s hands, Beck tugs her close. She goes onto her toes and their lips meet in a soft kiss, then one more . . . then another one that turns longer and hotter. The guests erupt into applause and cheers, and they pull apart smiling.

The bride and groom practically dance back up the aisle to the patio, followed by Cade, then Marco and me, arm in arm. The feel of his strong muscles beneath the crisp uniform jacket makes me quiver. I sense the tension in his body and know I’m not the only one feeling this strain, despite his easy smile and seemingly relaxed demeanor.

Ed Sheeran sings “Kiss Me” as Beck and Hayden, then Marco and I take our turns signing the wedding documents at a small table in the back of the patio. Acutely aware of Marco, I try to act normal as I sign my name. The signature is definitely shaky. Marco holds my chair for me to stand and I give him a small smile as I rise and step away, the magnetic pull I feel for him making it hard not to throw myself at him.

It's done—short, simple, and sweet—and it’s time for the party. Servers circulate with glasses of champagne and hors d’oeuvres. Cade, Marco, and I accompany Hayden and Beck back out to the beach where the photographer arranges us and takes a few photographs before the sun sets completely, some with the iconic white and red-roofed hotel in the background. Hayden mostly wants candid shots, so thankfully this doesn’t take long. I call upon my years of experience posing for the camera to keep a perfect smile on my face, especially when standing next to Marco.

Luckily Hayden is wrapped up in her day such that she doesn’t seem to recognize the tension between Marco and me, or the fact that I’m shaky and strained, because even though I know I’m doing a good job of acting, and Hayden isn’t always the most intuitive person, Hayden knows me well enough that normally she would have noticed.

Marco

I watch Carrie sit on a low stone wall and cross her legs to brush sand off her feet.

She’s beautiful. So goddamn beautiful. When I saw her walking over the sand toward me in that pretty blue dress, holding a bouquet of flowers, all big beautiful eyes and shiny lips and sexy curves, I damn near lost my shit.

She’s leaving.

Of course she has to go. Why would I think this will end any other way? Why would I think what we had would end any differently than with other people I cared about? The parents who were ripped out of my life. The families I so wanted to fit in with, who didn’t want me. The fiancée who couldn’t wait for me.

Seeing Liz again that night at Conquistadors only served to remind me what it feels like to be abandoned.

I have to do this. It’s important to me to prove myself.

I’m not sure what she has to prove. She’s amazing. Talented, caring, bright. So bright . . . like the sun. But I get that it’s important to her. Her photography is important and she does have talent.

It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, to leave her that night, harder than the first time I scuba dived and nearly fucking panicked, harder than underwater demolition training, harder than any deployment. But I can’t ask her to give up her dream. If she wants that, I want it for her. But that night, my insides shredded, I made the decision to protect my heart—for once,Iwas going to be the one who left first.

She slips her feet into silver high-heeled shoes as I approach her with a glass of champagne. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She takes the champagne and stands. “You look good too. Your uniforms are very handsome.”

I glance down at myself. “Thanks.”

“The wedding was perfect.”

We’re making awkward small talk. I hate it. “It was.” I sip my champagne. I work to keep my demeanor relaxed, my smile casual, so she won’t know that my insides feel like someone has taken a welding torch to them.

“We just have to dance together once,” Carrie says.

That’s going to be torture. “Yeah.”

The photographer pauses in front of us to take a picture and we lean our heads together and smile into the camera.

“Nice.” Hayden approaches with a swish of her long skirt. “You two both look amazing.”

“Youlook amazing.” I kiss Hayden’s cheek.

“Aw, thank you.” Hayden beams at me and clinks her champagne flute against mine.

We move inside to the salon that’s been arranged for dinner. The tables look beautiful with the pink floral arrangements and decorations, the room glowing with low lighting and candles, cutlery and glasses glinting on blue-sequined table coverings.

I follow Carrie across the room to the small head table where she sets her bouquet next to Hayden’s. Beck’s parents are already seated and she says hello to them. Carrie and I aren’t seated beside each other for dinner, but it doesn’t matter; my appetite has deserted me. I barely taste the mushroom bisque, poke at the salad, and take a couple of mouthfuls of short rib of beef in a Beaujolais sauce. It’s delicious, but my stomach is too knotted to eat.

After Cade and I have done our toast to the groom, Carrie rises to toast her best friend. I can see the signs of nerves in the faint tremble of her fingers and tightness of her lips, but she puts on a good act and everyone else sees a beautiful, confident, articulate woman. “I guess I can take responsibility for this marriage,” she says. “Since it was me who dragged Hayden to Conquistadors for a tequila-tasting evening.” She smiles. “I’ve spent most our friendship trying to drag Hayden out of her lab or away from her computer to have some fun. I think Hayden envisioned doing body shots and getting totally trashed.” Carrie pauses. “The body shots didn’t happenthatnight.”

The guests laugh.

“We had a lot to learn about tequila. When we got to Conquistadors, Hayden recognized the hot bartender with the long hair, beard, and sexy smile. Turned out, they’d already met, when she’d managed to smack into a post while checking her cellphone rushing back to her office, and he’d saved her from falling. But I still take credit, because if I hadn’t made Hayden go to Conquistadors that night, they never would have found each other again.” She grins. “I’ve loved seeing Hayden blossom with Beck’s love. He’s exactly the right man for her. And I think she’s exactly the right woman for him. Join me in a toast to Hayden.”

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