Page 59 of Hot Shot

“That’s not true.”

I shrug. “Well, it was. Like I said, now I can see that I was the problem, but at the time I was just all jacked up on anger and resentment and teenage hormones and couldn’t see that what I was doing wasn’t helping me.”

“Or maybe . . . hear me out . . . they just weren’t good enough people for you.”

I gaze into her eyes, into the shimmer of sincerity and kindness. Jesus. I never once thought that, but she looks like she actually believes it. Like she believes inme. I feel like my heart is bursting and I try to breathe around all the emotion crowding my chest.

“Maybe so,” I manage to say. “But that feeling . . . of not being wanted. Not being good enough . . . I know how it can stick with you.”

Her smile is sunshine and moonbeams and starlight. “So you get it.”

“Yeah. I get it. I think it’s crazy that someone like you, so gorgeous and sexy and successful, could feel like someone like me would be making fun of you. The truth is . . . I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I was the one thinking, why would someone like her want a loser like me.”

“You’re hardly a loser.” Her eyes glow. “Look what you’ve done with your life. Becoming a SEAL. Shit, Marco, that’s a huge accomplishment. You had a successful Navy career—”

“You don’t even know that.”

“Sure I do. I hear you guys talking. You trash talk each other, but I can hear the respect you all have for each other. The respect Cade and Beck have for you. The things you accomplished as part of SEAL Team One.”

“You’ve been paying attention.”

“Well.” She blinks and drops her gaze. “Maybe. Anyway. Now you have this bar, which is awesome—”

“But not without its problems,” I remind her.

“Of course. Any business has problems. You’ll figure them out, I have no doubt. And on top of all that, you make amazing sculptures. And you treated my niece with more compassion than I expected given how angry you were about the vandalism. That says a lot about you.”

My heart is even closer to exploding in my chest.

Whatever this feeling is, it’s amazing. Is this what I’ve been searching for my whole life, after losing my family? This feeling of approval and acceptance? Of being understood and wanted?

I found it with my SEAL brothers. I worked my fucking ass off for it, determined to succeed no matter how much pain I was in, no matter how much I thought I couldn’t take one more step, swim one more stroke, hold my breath one second longer . . . I was rewarded for that. Right now, I feel I’m being rewarded, but I don’t know for what. And somehow that makes it all the more special.

I don’t know what to say to this beautiful woman. So I say in a gruff voice, “Thank you.”

She lays her head back on my chest and I resume stroking her hair.

I wasn’t lying when I said that was epic sex. Holy Christ, she damn near set the bed on fire she was so hot, so responsive. I’m pretty sure it was never like that with Liz, although it has been a long time since we actually had sex. I wouldn’t forget something like that, though. Icouldn’tforget something like that. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to forget Carrie. Jesus, I’m not even sure I’ll ever be able to walk again.

Then talking to her like that, opening up to her about shit I never talk about. And instead of being met with disdain or ridicule, I saw understanding and appreciation. I took a big risk and it turned out okay. More than okay.

Carrie’s breathing has slowed and evened out, her body relaxing against mine. I stroke her hair gently, staring into the darkness of her bedroom now that we’ve turned off the lamp. She’s asleep but I’m not letting her go. I’ll hold her all goddamn night like this, if she’ll let me. Her confession about feeling like a freak made my chest ache. Even though I didn’t know who she was that night she walked into Conquistadors with Hayden for their first tequila tasting, I saw a supermodel—tall, gorgeous, with a smile that lit up the entire bar. Out of my league, which made my attempts to flirt with her embarrassingly futile.

And yet she didn’t reject me because I wasn’t good enough for her. She thought the opposite. My heart contracts at the thought.

Well. Somehow we’ve gotten past that and ended up here in her bed together, and wow, the sparks that always flared between us were even hotter once we got naked.

Then we talked and that just made everything more intense. More personal.

Where do we go from here? I’m not going to be satisfied with one night. I know our time together is limited because she’s leaving, and anyway, just because we have a shitload of chemistry and a shared connection, it doesn’t mean it’s anything lasting. I know better than to think those kinds of thoughts. So maybe it’s just as well that this “romp” has an expiration date we’re both well aware of. That way things won’t get messy.

We can do this.

Carrie

A lack of modeling jobs seems like a good thing for a change.

I’m not sure what I’ve gotten myself into lately, but I’m losing my damn mind. Between my mother’s fretful calls about not being a contributing member of society (even though Dad has taken her on a couple of “dates”), taxiing Julia back and forth between Conquistadors and school and home while keeping the reason for this a secret from Lauren, helping Hayden with wedding plans, trying to arrange the dance at Años Dorados Retirement Village, keeping up with my beloved photography and my Instagram account, working on my idea for an art studio for kids,andtrying to find time to “romp” with Marco, I don’t have time to work. Good thing I know my modeling career is winding down.

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