Page 19 of Hot Shot

In the passenger seat, my mom continues. “Nobody needs me anymore. At first I felt like I was on vacation, but then it sank in . . . I’m never going back to work.”

Mom was CEO of South Bay Community Health, a large network of health centers. She worked her entire life since starting her career as a nurse, other than the time off she took when she had her four children. She went back to school while working to get a degree in management that helped her advance her career. Recently she decided to join Dad in retirement. I’m not sure why, though, since she’s clearly miserable.

“It was so fulfilling, knowing I was having a positive influence on the lives of others,” Mom says. “Contributing to their care. Now I’m not contributing to anything.”

Ugh. She’s reminding me of my own feelings of inadequacy. My fear that I’ll never do anything to have an impact in this world. I get where she’s coming from, so I should have patience for her feelings, but geez, she had a long career of contributing. Nurses are freakin’ angels.

“Yes, you are,” I say. “And you do have a positive influence on the lives of others. Your family. You help Justin and James with their kids, and here we are visiting Grandma Garner.”

“She’s batshit,” Mom says.

“Mom! She is not!” I turn into the parking lot of Años Dorados Retirement Village.

“She is. She always has been. She’s a nut bar.”

“She’s just eccentric.” Also, Grandma Garner doesn’t give a shit what people think of her. Never has, and now even less so as she ages.

“I miss doing important stuff.”

“I know.” I swallow a sigh.

“Going to meetings. Dealing with staffing issues, solving problems. I keep checking my phone for emails and voice messages and there’s nothing there.”

I pull into a spot and put the car in park. “Have you thought about going back to work?”

“Yes. Your father doesn’t want me to.” She jerks off her seatbelt and throws open the door. “But I fail to understand why, when he’s always busy golfing and fishing.”

I bite my lip as I exit the car. Mom’s unhappiness makes my stomach tense. “Do you want me to talk to Dad?”

“No, honey, of course not. I can do that.”

She won’t. My family’s not good at communicating. Sometimes I feel like I’m a go-between for everyone.

I’ll talk to Dad. Sometimes he’s a little clueless. He probably has no idea Mom is miserable.

Lauren pulls into the lot just as we do and joins us. “Hey, Mom, Carrie.” We all hug.

“How are you doing?” I ask my sister. The breakdown of her marriage several months back has to be hard on her, and she hasn’t shared a single morsel about what happened. We’re all curious and worried.

“I’m fine!” Lauren beams a tight smile. “How are you?”

“Oh, good. I’m good.”

A teensy bit hungover, but a painkiller took care of the headache. I’m not sure what I need to take care of that other ache that lingers low in my belly. Okay, possibly my vibrator would help. That’ll have to wait for later, though.

“Where’s Julia? She didn’t come with you?” Julia is Lauren’s fourteen-year-old daughter.

Lauren’s lips tighten. “Nope. She’s grounded.”

“Oh no! Why?”

“Friday night she told me she was going to Rachel’s house for a sleepover. I called there because I remembered her hair appointment Saturday morning, and they weren’t there. They’d gone to a party at a boy’s house.”

“Oh.” I make a “yikes” face.

“The worst part was, when she got home Saturday, she outright lied to me and said she’d tried to call me and tell me they were going to this party but the line was busy. It wasn’t busy.” Lauren’s eyes flash.

I suck in a breath. I love my niece and enjoy spending time with her. Julia’s a good kid, I believe that, but she’s definitely been giving her parents a hard time lately. This isn’t the first incident like that. I’ll have to be sure to take Julia out for burgers or something one evening next week and have a little talk.

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