Page 3 of Sexpresso Night

“What does that matter?”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“I just wonder,” Marina said as they walked. “What’s an old guy like him doing, working as a barista, for heavens’ sake?”

Danya was ashamed to admit she’d had a similar thought. The question had been on the tip of her tongue a number of times when they’d talked. But hey, being a barista was honest, respectable work.

“How old do you think he is?” she asked.

“I think he’s about thirty-two,” Marina said, tapping her chin.

“Thirty,” Jenny said.

“That’s not old.” It was perfect.

What the hell was she thinking? She had a boyfriend!

“Okay, just stop it.” She held up both hands. “I’m already seeing someone. Sure, Carter is nice to look at, and he seems like a great guy, but it doesn’t matter how old he is.”

That silenced her friends, who shared a glance.

“What?” she demanded.

Their pace slowed as they dodged and wove around tourists and Santa Barbara residents out biking, roller-blading, jogging and walking.

“About you and Chris,” Jenny said hesitantly. “You really don’t seem very happy lately.”

“I’m happy,” Danya said, a bit defensively. “Chris is a nice guy.”

“I call bullshit,” Marina said.

“Yeah,” Jenny added. “You’re obviously not happy. What’s wrong?”

Danya pressed her lips together. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s hard to explain,” she finally said.

“Chris is a nice guy,” Marina said. “I like him.”

Yeah, he was nice. Last night his solicitous, gentle touch had almost driven her out of her mind, out of her skin with frustration. Any time she tried to show him what she needed, he ignored her. And when she’d suggested using his tie, he’d drawn back as sharply as if she’d kneed him in the balls. She’d laughed it off as a naughty joke, but the rest of the evening had been excruciating, and not a in a good way.

But how could she expect Chris to know what she wanted when she wasn’t even sure herself?

After what she’d been through with Evan two years ago, she’d sworn she would never let a man control her, would never let someone do the things he’d done to her. She’d thought Evan was the one, the one who would help her explore that other side of her, to find what had been missing in her life. Big mistake. Huge. Okay, it had been a disaster the magnitude of a California earthquake.

As if she knew Danya was thinking about him, Jenny said hesitantly, “You’re over Evan aren’t you?”

“Yes!” Danya’s head jerked around to stare at her. “Of course I’m over him.” They were the ones who had picked up the pieces when Evan’s domination had crossed into brutal sadism. After that she’d known she never again wanted to be with anyone who was into that BDSM lifestyle. And yet Chris’s complete lack of interest in anything more kinky than her being on top wasn’t doing it for her, either.

Chris was a sweet guy. Wrapped up in his career, yes, but considerate, undemanding and laid-back. Exactly what she wanted now.

At State Street the three friends crossed Cabrillo without consulting each other, heading out onto Stearns Wharf. They wandered to the railing and looked out over the ocean, the crisp salty breeze tugging the hair back from their faces. Danya inhaled deeply, loving the tangy, fishy smell, the warm sun on her face.

It was eating away at her inside, the conflict between her head’s plan to be in control of all things and her heart’s longing to let go of it. Chris was easygoing, let her make the plans, deferred to her on every decision, exactly what she’d been looking for, and she didn’t understand why she was so miserable.

She and Chris had to talk. Yeah. Next weekend, they’d make plans and they’d talk and then Chris would drag her into the bedroom and—

And maybe the tide wouldn’t come in tomorrow.

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