Page 87 of Can We Try?

With a loud exhale, I close my eyes and prepare myself for my future mother-in-law to hate me. “We fought. Well, I fought, yelled actually, and he was the amazing man he is, and let me.”

Amanda smiles, which is not what I was expecting. “I have one of those. In fact, I’m certain that’s where Lachlan learned it.”

“I’m not mad at him. I’m just plain old mad. He wanted to stay home with me today, and the thought of him putting his job or life on hold for me… I don’t want that.”

“Been there, done that. I think I might even have the T-shirt to prove it.” She smiles softly.

“Really?”

She nods. “I was a single mom when I met Rodney. Lachlan’s sperm donor told me to handle the situation and skipped town. I never saw him again. I was doing it all on my own, and Rodney, he was persistent. He kept showing up, even after we’d been on a few dates, and I was sure he would leave. He never did.”

“And you fought?”

“Oh, sweetheart, we argue, just like every couple. It’s natural to do so. I can still remember the first real fight we ever had. Lachlan was sick, and we were supposed to go to dinner. I was stressed from missing so much work, knowing money would be tight, and Rodney he showed up at my place, anyway. He had food in hand, and things he thought Lachlan might like. I screamed and yelled that we weren’t his problem. That I had to figure it out on my own because when he was gone, when he decided we were too much work, I’d still be alone.”

“What happened?”

“He pulled me into a hug and let me cry. He then came into the house, picked Lachlan up, snuggled him and told me to go take a bath, and take some me time.”

“Yeah, I’d say he gets it from his dad.”

“He does.” Amanda smiles fondly. “How are you doing, Maggie? Really, no bullshit.”

“I—wasn’t expecting that,” I say, giving her a half smile.

“Us women, we have to stick together, so whatever it is, lay it on me.”

“My grandma, she was there when we lost my mom, and when I lost my dad. She was there for me while I was in college, through past bad relationships, and now this.” I look down at my belly, my hands resting there. “There isn’t a single moment of my life that I don’t remember without her in it. The good, the bad, and the in-between. I don’t know how to do this without her. I feel so… alone. I know that’s not the case, but I have no family.” I rub my belly. “Sean, he’s my family now.”

“What am I?” Amanda asks. “What about my son, and the ring he put on your finger? Is he not your family? Rodney? Is he not your family? Your friends?” She raises a finger with each new name or group she calls out.

“Yeah, but it’s different,” I say. I don’t know how to explain it to her.

“It’s only different if you let it be different.”

Tears well in my eyes and I furiously wipe them away. “I’m so sick of crying.”

“Technically, I’m not a grandmother yet, but I am a mother. I know the love a mother has for her child, and I can only imagine that love being just as strong for your grandchild. For all the moments you mentioned that she was there for you, you were there for her too. She lost her son, but she had a piece of him with her in you. I didn’t know Doris long, but I knew her well enough to know she’d hate to see you this way. She’d want you to enjoy the final few months of your pregnancy. She’d want to know that you were living the life you deserve.” She reaches over and places her hand on mine. “I can’t replace her or your mother. What I can do is love you and love this baby for all three of us. And Rodney, that man, he’s going to spoil his grandson endlessly, for him and for your dad.”

I not only listen to her words, I feel them in my soul. “Lachlan, he’s been so amazing through all of this. I love him so much,” I say, tears coating my cheeks. “I can’t lose someone else that I love. I won’t make it.”

“You will. I wish I could tell you that the pain of losing a loved one is over for you, but I’d be lying. But I know you have it in you to fight through the pain. You have to live for them now, Maggie. For this little one.” She places her hand on my belly. “Let him help you. Let all of us help you. You don’t have our blood in your veins, but you are our family. I couldn’t be more proud of the woman you are. The woman my son chose to give his heart to. The woman he’s spending his forever with and starting a family with. You are my daughter too.”

I’m crying so hard now that I’m unable to speak. Amanda slides over toward me and hugs me tightly. She doesn’t say a word; she just lets me cry in her arms—the comfort of a mother, something I never thought I’d gain.

When my tears have run dry, I sit up and blow out a heavy breath. “I love your son with everything that I am. I love you and Rodney too. Thank you for being there for me through all of this. I promise I’ll get myself together.”

“Just don’t do it alone, Maggie. Whatever you need, we’re here. We don’t want to hover, but just know there isn’t anything you could ask us for that we wouldn’t do for you if it’s within our control.” Amanda gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “Now, how is this little guy? How are you feeling? Have you been eating?”

“He’s great,” I say, wiping at my tears. “Growing as he should be, and I’ve been forcing myself to eat.”

“Good, but we’re still going out to lunch. You need some fresh winter Tennessee air. It’s good for your soul.”

“I’m—” I look down at my faded hoodie and leggings. “—a mess.”

“We’ve got time. Go get ready. I’ll be right here.” She reaches into her purse and holds up her Kindle. “I got this for Christmas. Thanks to you, I hear.” She laughs.

“Best gift ever.” I smile, feeling some of the weight and sadness on my heart lift.

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