Page 84 of Can We Try?

So, instead, I stand with my arms wrapped tightly around her while we watch the medical staff do their jobs. Finally, after I don’t know how much time has passed, the physician looks up at the clock on the wall and makes the call.

“Time of death, seven eighteen,” the doctor says. He then steps toward us and bows his head. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” He drops those words, and then quietly leaves the room.

Maggie wails as her grief takes hold of her.

The room clears out, and I guide her to a chair by the bed, and sit down, pulling her onto my lap. She cries, her body shaking from her grief, and I let my silent tears fall. Tears for an amazing woman, who helped shape the love of my life, and for my future wife who is heartbroken. I don’t have the words she needs, and all I know to do is to hold her. Hug her tightly, and tell her that I’m here.

An hour later, I’m finally able to convince her to leave the room. She’s a shell of herself as we walk out to the waiting room. My own tears fall unchecked when I see my parents, all the guys, and Brogan in the waiting room.

“The wives would have been here, but they’re home with the kids,” Roman says.

“Maggie.” Mom’s voice cracks as she pulls Maggie into her arms. I watch as Maggie grips my mom so tightly, I’m sure she’s struggling to breathe.

My dad, the guys, and Brogan, all hug me and then take their turn with Maggie. I pull her back into my arms as soon as Brogan sets her free.

“Thank you for being here,” I tell them. I knew they would be a pillar of support, but I didn’t expect them all to show up. “I’m going to take Maggie home so we can get some rest,” I tell them. “I’ll call you all later.”

“Of course, get some sleep. I’ll make some dinner and bring it over later. I’ll give you all a few hours to get some rest.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Thank you,” Maggie whispers. “All of you.”

I turn and lead her out to my truck. She’s quiet on the drive home, and while we get ready for bed. I pull her into my arms, and she cries herself to sleep. It’s not until her breathing has evened out that I let myself do the same.

Chapter

Nineteen

Maggie

* * *

I don’t want to go. I don’t know how to say goodbye to her. She was there when we lost my mom and again years later when we lost my dad. She has been my constant in this world of pain. When I finally pulled away from Eric, my ex, she reassured me that everything was going to be okay. She was certain I’d one day find a man worthy of my time, of my love, and she was right.

She’s gone, and I don’t know how to get past this pain. I know that death is a part of life, but I’ve lost too many people who were important to me. I’ve lost my family. It’s just me, all alone in this world, and that makes my heart ache.

Losing her makes my heart ache.

“Maggie?” Lachlan’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn to look at him. “It’s time to go.”

I nod but make no effort to move. Instead, I stare at him. He’s dressed in black dress pants, a black long-sleeve button-up, and his blue eyes, they’re full of pain when he looks at me. I don’t want his pain, and I don’t want his pity. I’m the woman left in this world with no family and no connection to my roots, and that’s just how it is.

Sean kicks, and I jolt at the movement as well as the unexpected pain because all I’ve felt since Lachlan woke me up and told me she was in the hospital is numb.

He comes rushing over. He slides one arm behind my back and the other rests on my belly. “Are you okay?” he asks gently.

“I’m fine. He’s really active today.”

He bends and kisses my belly through my black dress. “Be kind to Momma today, Sean. She needs our love now more than ever.” He kisses my belly again, and then I feel his lips on my temple. “Time to go,” he says, turning and guiding me out of our bedroom with his arm around my waist.

Before I know it, Lachlan is at my door, offering me his hand. We’ve arrived at the funeral home. I don’t want to go in there. I don’t want to do this. My eyes find his, and he nods.

“I know, baby, but I’m right here,” he assures me. “This time is for family only,” he reminds me.

We have an hour for the immediate family to say their goodbyes. I don’t need an hour. It’s just me, and since I’ll never be ready to say goodbye, the time is pointless. However, I need to go in there and tell her one last time how much I love her, and how my heart will forever be missing a piece with her gone.

She would want me to be here.

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