Page 1 of Daddy's Double Surprise

1

SUNNY

It was sad the way the clouds poured out their tears over the cemetery as we listened to the priest recite his prayer. Rain pattered lightly on the tent erected over Kira’s gravesite. Her parents, Jim and Shirley, sat in metal folding chairs with tissues in hand. He had his arm around her; her head was nuzzled into the crook of his neck as she sobbed.

The day was hard for everyone, including me, but not as devastating as it was for Kira’s parents. My heart ached just thinking of all the things they would never get to experience with her. Things she would never experience for herself now. And it was sadly very fitting how even the sky wept today. Kira would have called it poetic. I called it grief. Like Mother Nature knew it wasn’t supposed to be this way. A twenty-seven-year-old isn’t supposed to precede her parents in death.

“And blessed be the Lord our God, who giveth and taketh away. Amen,” the priest said, and I watched his head rise. He’d probably done a million of these things, maybe even buried young children, infants, or their mothers.

I couldn’t look at him. My eyes traced up across the field full of headstones where the light rain seemed to kiss the earthgently. I wished it wouldn’t. I wished it would rage and storm and pound the earth, demanding justice for my friend, for the life she’d never live now. She was here seven days ago, and then she was gone. Now I’m alone and lost.

“Honey, let’s go talk to the Bakers.” Mom nudged me. She didn’t have to come, neither did Dad, but they had.

When I found Kira lying on our bathroom floor cold and pale, I thought she’d just passed out. She wasn’t breathing well, had blue lips. We rushed her to the hospital and hours later she was gone, stolen from us all. And now, back home in LA, not our home—not Tampa where Kira and I started our life together with dreams of chasing the stars—I let my parents usher me around, herding me like a lost sheep.

Dad stood beside me, a stalwart of rigid strength. I leaned on him physically, but emotionally I was elsewhere, searching for the single thread of light in the clouds that might shine on my heart and make this all a bad dream. I wanted to wake up and make it vanish, the way a nightmare fades slowly as you rub your eyes and blink yourself awake.

“Jim, I’m here if you need me,” Dad said, thrusting out his hand. Kira’s father shook it but said nothing.

“Oh, Shirley,” Mom cooed, wrapping the older woman up in her arms. Kira’s parents were older than Mom and Dad, got a later start in life with their family. I guessed in their sixties at least, while Mom and Dad were just breaking fifty open. Lots of life ahead for us all, life that seemed to march forward without my consent. It should stop. It should pause and sigh, just like me, but it wouldn’t.

That was the hardest part of it all. That life would keep moving on for everyone here, while Kira lay cold in a box, every one of her dreams as silent as her.

I felt arms around me and leaned into them. Shirley smelled like the rain and a pungent perfume I knew I’d smelled before,maybe Kira borrowed it. I wasn’t close with her parents, though I did spend a lot of time at their house growing up. I always said that Kira and I were like sisters, and I meant it. My real sister, Luna, always got angry, but she knew it was true too. Luna was my polar opposite, while Kira and I might as well have been fraternal twins, separated at birth.

“Oh, Sunny, you come by anytime. Please…We miss you so much. We can talk about her…help you too.” Shirley’s offer was sweet, but I doubted I’d swing by. My heart was so broken over this, and I’d only drag them down. They were the ones who should have been hurting this badly, not me. I was just the best friend.

I nodded and swiped at my eyes. “I will,” I promised, but it was empty.

After a few minutes of attempting to comfort the Bakers, Dad and Mom dragged me away. I didn’t use the umbrella I brought. It felt good to let the stinging rain prick my cheeks and arms. At least I was alive, feeling this. Kira would tell me to dance, to unleash myself and twirl and be free. She’d say something like,“Race you to the car,”and bolt off in her Keds and skinny jeans, and I’d be laughing and winded as I chased after her.

Today I felt like slogging through the puddles, letting the wind whip across my skin and toss my hair. I wanted the storm to pound into me, wake me up, drown me, or let me die. So many emotions drenched me like the rain. I didn’t know how or when it would pass, or what I’d do when it did.

I climbed into the back seat of my father’s black sedan. He had a driver to chauffeur him around most days, but today he decided to drive us. There’s just something about death that makes a person feel out of control and helpless. I was certain that was the reason Dad wanted to drive—to feel in control. He didn’t lose a child, but it hit close to home. I was the same age. I lived with her. It could’ve been me.

“Dear,” Mom said as she folded the visor in front of her down. Her eyes met mine in the reflection of the lit mirror there.

“Hm,” I grunted, then turned away. My eyes studied each headstone as Dad drove us out of the cemetery, then I fell into a daze of blurred cars and buildings when we exited.

“Honey, I wish you would move home now. You’ll be so lonely there.” Mom’s pleading hadn’t sunken in yet. I’d been in a daze since finding Kira. They gave me sleeping pills and anxiety medicine, but I was still having a hard time sleeping. Nightmares kept me up. I didn’t want to live in that place alone, but how could I leave the memories we had there?

“I don’t know,” I mumbled. I had moved to Tampa with Kira right after high school to get away from Dad and how controlling he was back then, which I was sure hadn’t changed. I felt his presence more than saw him, and I knew he was going to weigh in. For the most part, Mom had kept this particular request between us, but I knew Dad thought it too. He never wanted me to leave to begin with.

“Soleil, your mother is right. Listen, I’ll pay your rent in Tampa, let you decide. You stay with us for a few weeks or even months. You’re too upset to try to take on all that responsibility on your own.” His words sounded kind, but I wasn’t new to it. Dad loved to corner me and force me to do things his way. He was good at it too, trying to make me conform to his desires by manipulating me into thinking it was the best thing for me.

Tampa had been the opposite of what he wanted, but I believed it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I got my own feet, learned my own voice. Now I was strong and independent, but maybe he was right. Maybe I needed my mom around me for a while.

“Yeah, okay,” I mumbled, not even trying to resist him. The way I felt right now, it was pointless. I didn’t want to travel. Sitting on a plane that long and finding a cab back tothe apartment sounded worse than that marathon I ran last summer.

“And I’ll talk to a friend of mine. He’s a good man. He can get you a job while you’re here. You’ll feel better if you just jump into a routine.” Dad’s eyes flicked to meet mine in the rearview mirror, and I averted my gaze. The thought of working right now made me want to jump out of this moving vehicle, but maybe he was right.

What else would I do all day, every day? If I just sat around stewing on my feelings I would end up more miserable and probably very depressed. I nodded at him and hugged my wet arms over my middle, letting my eyes unfocus as I stared out the window again.

I would take a few weeks to reset, and then I’d decide if I wanted to go back to Tampa. After what happened with Chad, I had nothing else tying me there. That relationship was gone. Kira was gone, and more than anything I just wanted to be at peace. I craved it more than anything.

“You’ll see, dear, it will be good for you.” Mom tried to smile at me, but it was a sad smile, smudged mascara, damp hair.

I let my head loll to the side and rest on the window. I had a lot of hard decisions to make now and no energy to make a single one of them. I was grateful for my father’s offer to pay the rent in Tampa. If I did end up going back, which was more likely than not, I would need it. And since I wasn’t bringing in any money as long as I was away from work there, I appreciated his offer of talking to his friend too. Maybe Dad was human after all, and maybe being home would be different. I wasn’t holding my breath, but a girl could dream.

---