Page 42 of Never Want to Love Again

I heard a snort. Like always, bullshit was sure to follow.

“Is that what you’re doing with yourself these days, Kupid? Being a groupie?” she finally said.

Massaging my temples, I swallowed down the harsh words that wanted…no… needed to be said. I try so hard to remain respectful because she is the woman who gave birth to me, but I am sick and tired of how she treats me. It feels as if she is jealous of me. I don’t depend on a man for money. I won’t let any man put his hands on me or treat me poorly. Everything that she does- that just isn’t me. I am stronger than she is, and she can’t stand it.

“A groupie?” I shot out. “I would never.”

I chose not to check what the people reported about me and Crown. Seeing me with him at the basketball game, the club, and now in the Bahamas. Yeaaah… I wasn’t checking for the blogs.

“That’s what the blogs are calling you, girl. Do you know you are embarrassing me?” she continued with the insults. “If anything, you can at least get money from him and send some to me. You haven’t done anything for me lately.”

That had me cackling. I couldn’t stop it if I wanted to. I laughed so hard I was crying. My mama kept asking me what I found so funny, and I couldn’t even respond until I calmed down.

“Send you…send you…wait…” I laughed again and dried my eyes with the bottom of an old Crestview High shirt that I could still fit. “You want me to send you money from a man you say I’m embarrassing you with? But wait, you’re delusional if you think I would help someone who constantly brings me down. Someone who never has a positive word to say when you call. Mama, I love you, but I will love you from a distance. I cannot take any of this shit anymore.”

With that, I hung up and finally blocked her number. Pulling my knees to my chest, I cried. I cried because I was finally choosing myself in our situation, and I cried because as much as I didn’t want to check the blogs, I was going to. I already knew my character was being damaged. People that didn’t even know me.

My phone rang again and I thought maybe she had called from her nigga’s number, but when I saw that it was Asia, I swiftly swiped to the right to answer.

“Soooo…” she started as soon as the call connected. “Your location shows you’re home. Why are you not with that man at his mansion?”

“Because that’s not my maaaan, Asia,” I hooted.

She sucked her teeth. “Friend, I saw a photo of you and my favorite rapper holding hands.” I groaned and palmed my forehead. I should have knownthatwould make the blogs. Crown told me he signed a piece of paper for the woman who had come to clean the townhouse. She was probably auctioning that shit oneBay.I wouldn’t put it past her. “Friend…”

“Hmm?” I hummed.

“Did you and my favorite rapper do the do? You were glowing When we talked while you were in the Bahamas.”

Me and Asia went way back, and she had never crossed me and told any of my secrets and likewise, so I knew I could trust her with anything.

All I could do was nod.

Asia clapped and squealed from excitement. “I knew it! That nigga saw you in a bathing suit and couldn’t resist. You know your body is tea, friend!”

“Do not tell Shama,” I whispered, and Asia waved me away with a flick of her wrist.

“Girl, I don’t pillow talk with my man, and you know that. He’ll eventually find out when you and Crown come out as item anyway.” Asia popped a mini Oreo in her mouth. We eyed each other until she finished chewing and swallowing. Asia washed it down with a glass of milk. Oreos and milk were her favorite snacks. “So, how was it?”

I giggled and let out a soft sigh, remembering how Crown fucked me like a crazy man, and I enjoyed it.

“Girl!” Asia covered her mouth, gasping. “You don’t even have to tell me. That look on your face…Crown put in that work, work!”

“And did!” I yelled.

Asia and I chatted for a couple more hours until Shamar came home with the kids. Now, she had to go into mama mode and get off the phone with me. Asia was my personal diary. It felt good to get a lot off my chest when it was heavy. We talked about my conversation with my Mama, and Asia congratulated me for finally standing up to her. Hell, I was proud of myself.

Downing the rest of my wine, I got the courage to check the blogs on Instagram. There were multiple posts about me and Crown. I had to admit, in the photo where we held hands, we appeared to be a couple on vacation. Crown was turned to me, biting down on his lip. I remember that exact moment. His ass was telling me how he couldn’t wait to get me back to the townhouse to slide back inside of me. I read the comments.

ALISHAXOXO- THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WE’VE SEEN THEM TOGETHER. WHERE SHE COME FROM?

BALLERBOY34– THOSE FREAKY RAPS MUST BE ‘BOUT HER. SHE THICK AND LOOK LIKE SHE GOT SOME GOOD PUSSY.

DANIELLEFROMTHEVIEW– SHE IS PROBABLY A BROKE BITCH AND LOOKING FOR A COME-UP. MY BOY CROWN CAN’T BE A TRIIIICK.

I swiped off the app and shook my head. My Instagram account was private, but once Crown’s fans found out who I was, I was pretty sure that I’ll have a lot of friend requests and people talking cash shit under all of my photos. They would pick the smallest shit and call it out on my photos. The photo could be flawless, and they’ll still find something wrong. I knew how the game went. It would mostly be the females. The delusional, hardcore fans.

“I need another glass of wine,” I uttered aloud. I stood and stretched my aching legs. My entire body ached from the weekend with Crown.

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