Page 19 of To Fall for a Dragon

“Sometimes, it was the only nice thing ever said to them. How could I let them go without that?” Poe caressed Hakko’s cheek under his own volition. Hakko caught his breath and froze in fear of losing this.

“You couldn’t, and that saved you. You survived because of your relationship with the trees and the goodwill bestowed on those forgotten souls,” Hakko insisted. Having this information with the newly tiny clues made sense. Of course, the trees were terrifying toward anyone visiting them in the dark of the night. They were protecting their lost child. Poe had given these people a moment of peace and love, and it was sweet. As much as Poe said he hated everything, he never turned his back on someone in need. Hakko was entranced by that version of Poe.

Poe rolled his eyes and pulled away from Hakko. He brought his legs close to his chest and leaned on the couch’s arm. A defensive measure. His burst of eloquence and openness had tired him out. His red eyes closed, leaving a fan of black lashes visible against his pale cheeks.

“You might believe you’re unworthy of affection or true friendship, but I don’t. You deserve it. I want to be the one who tells you every day how good, how amazing you are. But I won’t stand in your way if that’s not what you’d like,” Hakko whispered, determined to show Poe that he would be his support, his shelter, under every circumstance.

ChapterEleven

Poe pulled his legs tighter to his chest. Hakko’s words were tiny pinpricks of hurt. He didn’t know where Hakko got this idea that Poe was a good man when it was obvious he was not.

The blood spilled when Sawyer took his human life didn't give the trees sentience. They'd been listening and sharing before Sawyer ever lived in Granite. The land didn’t care for him. The inhabitants of the poorhouse were so addled and lost in their own heads, and they didn’t understand what he was. Poe had done things. He'd fallen in love with an alderman’s son and corrupted him with his unlawful ways. Jonathan couldn’t handle the guilt of fornicating with Poe and left to go fight in the war against America.

It was then that Sawyer had found him and changed him. It was then that he began writing the letters and sending them off. He was devastated at how quickly his life had shattered. His feelings for Jonathan were tainted by Jonathan’s disgust. Poe poured his heart out into the letters and his books. Every bit of his hopes was written on the paper. He never meant for anyone to read them. And the letters he sent to Jonathan were tepid compared to his book.

The emotions he hoarded for Hakko were different from Jonathan. Hakko made him yearn for a future. He wasn’t worthy of Hakko’s devotion. What if he ruined this new Granite and Hakko as well? What if Sawyer was right about him—that he was a monster? Poe would never be able to forgive himself. Despite Hakko’s obvious attempts at courting and the longing Poe had toward him, Poe had to quash it. He would not destroy another man as he had with Jonathan.

“Poe? Whatever you’re thinking? It’s not true.” Hakko slid a tiny bit closer. The heat radiating off his legs was comforting. After so many years, Poe was warm, and he couldn’t lose the hope it gave him. He wished to seize what Hakko presented. Did he deserve it? That was the question.

Poe shook his head, denying Hakko. “You don’t know that. You have this romantic view of my past, and it’s wrong. Just wrong. I’m just… I ruin?—”

Hakko kissed him, stopping the flow of words. It was only a press of lips against another's. The touch of mouths was explosive in a quiet fashion. It wiped out every thought in Poe’s head. The headiness of it had the distinct power of convincing Poe maybe he was allowed some sliver of happiness. Maybe he’d revel in some joy despite his past and his vampirism.

Pulling back, he gasped, and his sharp fangs sliced his lower lip. Hakko made a noise, which weaved down to Poe’s cock. It reverberated within Poe, waking a fierce need for connection and for kindness. His carnal needs were dealt with in dark washrooms with strange people.

“I don’t mind your teeth. They’re part of you. Don’t hide.” Hakko spoke harshly.

Poe ducked his head and curled away, ignoring Hakko's demand. Everything about his vampirism bothered him. He didn’t understand how Hakko accepted it. He fed off people in order to survive. He was a parasite.

A soft touch on his chin directed his gaze toward Hakko’s warm and accepting eyes. No words were said as Poe breathed in deeply before leaning over and resting his head on Hakko’s broad shoulder.

Poe realized he had to make the first step if he hoped to have Hakko in his life. It was hard, and he didn’t trust himself. He worried he’d cut or bite Hakko in the midst of lust.

Hakko maneuvered them around until they were lying side by side on Hakko’s oversized couch.

And then nothing. Hakko didn’t grab at him, didn’t kiss him or pull him close. He lay there, resting his hand on the curve of Poe’s hip. His eyes were watchful as Poe found his equilibrium. Hakko had infinite patience and the happiest expression, and it annoyed Poe.

“You did this. You kissed me. You manhandled me into lying down, and now you’re a lump. Why are you so fucking confusing?”

“Because I’m trying to be patient for you.” Hakko’s simple words were sharp shards of glass against Poe’s confused heart. Every one cut him open and exposed his true self, his longings. “I will always try to do what’s best for you, and that might mean pausing.”

“That’s not... I don’t want you stuck looking after a ghost or this figment you’ve created in your head. I’m not worth it.” Poe wiggled and squirmed off the couch, catching himself before he hit the ground. The discussion was getting too serious too fast. His heart cracked under Hakko's earnestness.

Hakko snagged his arm before Poe could step away. His molten eyes were banked with heat as he slid his hand down Poe’s arm and linked their fingers together. “Poe…”

Poe tugged his fingers free before running them through his hair. His legs wouldn’t listen as he tried to leave the room and Hakko. “Why, Hakko? Why me?”

Hakko released Poe’s hand and reclined on the couch, his head resting on his closed fist. “Because you make me smile, and I want to enjoy this while I can.”

“But,” Poe started and stopped. This had never been part of the plan. He was supposed to be alone forever and yet, Hakko listened. He heard Poe’s pleas, and he didn’t shy away from the dark stuff. “I stole from the graves.”

Hakko blinked and sat upright. The tiny amount of horror appearing on his face settled the anxiety in Poe’s stomach. This was the line Hakko wouldn’t cross, and it made Poe relieved. He'd found something Hakko couldn’t handle.

“People put items, mementos, in the pine boxes, and it was so easy to take them. I was broke and hungry all the time,” Poe explained. “They weren’t going to need them. They were gone.”

“But… those were to pay the ferryman,” Hakko sputtered. “Poe.”

Poe shrugged. It hadn’t been a concern then. Survival and resentment had filled his days. Hakko’s reaction was expected. “Now do you understand?”

---