“Well, you’re more out there than I am. What the fuck is going on?” Darius’s language grew saltier as he became more stressed. “How the fuck are we supposed to save the fucking world if we can’t discuss strategies and shit? You’d think Caspian would be tired of being a goddamn fox half the day. Jesus fucking hell. Why the hell—is it me? Do they not trust me anymore? Am I the weakest link?”
Bale raised his eyebrows at the sudden barrage of fears pouring out of Darius’s mouth. If he attempted to go over and offer comfort to Darius, the vicious claws he hid would snap out and slay him. Bale had finally been accepted as part of Darius’s household after being in his space consistently. Bale wasn’t going to rock the boat any more than necessary.
“Well, what the hell is going on?” Darius asked. Bale sighed and focused his attention on Darius and hissed. Strands of Darius’s hair fell loose of its holder from his constant tugging. His eyes were wild with worry. Darius was surrounded by a halo of scattered energy while the cats sat on the kitchen island in muffin poses, watching Darius with wide eyes. This was worse than Bale expected.
“Yelling at me isn’t going to make them visit any time soon, so chill out. Have a glass of wine and take a breath. You’re going to break your lights again,” Bale ordered. Darius stopped pacing and glared ferociously at Bale. “Honestly, Darius.”
“What, oh wise one? What glorious advice are you going to hand out today?” Darius’s arms were crossed, and his foot was tapping on the tile floor.
“You’re fucking annoying. That’s what I’m going to say. You haven’t been a good friend. You never visit them. You stay holed up in your house, and you constantly make demands. They are new couples. They want to bask in the awesomeness of fresh and honest affection,” Bale shouted, finally goaded into arguing, even though he’d promised himself he wouldn’t.
“I have yet to make a demand. They bailed on me for Thanksgiving. They came over piecemeal on Halloween, and now it’s… and now it’s Christmas. I thought I did it right. I invited them all personally.” Darius’s words trailed off into a whisper, and he placed a hand on his chest and swallowed audibly.
It was then Bale saw past the bluster and prickliness and discovered the lonely Darius beneath it all. He was terrified. Darius was scared.
Bale left his post and gathered Darius into his arms. The rod that had been holding Darius up melted, allowing Darius to relax in Bale’s arms. Bale nuzzled the top of Darius’s head lightly. “They’re coming. They told me they were.”
“I’m not going to ruin Christmas by talking about anything bad. I want to be with my friends and bask in their noise.” Darius tightened his arms around Bale’s waist, and it was perfect.
“We’ll save that for another day. Hastur’s been hiding. I haven’t figured out the location yet. But major damage has been done. We’ll take this as a reprieve. It’s good. We can enjoy this night.” Bale inhaled the minty chocolate scent of Darius and savoured it. There had been too few of these moments, and Bale wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible.
Darius wriggled out of Bale’s arms and checked on the poultry in the oven as well as the rest of the pots on the stove. Bale smiled softly and returned to his post. Small tastes of affection. Tiny steps. That was all it took.
“Oh! They’re on their way. I can see lanterns from Isaac’s backyard,” Bale reported. He stepped outside to greet them as they crossed into Darius’s yard.
Caspian yipped as he barreled up the stairs and circled Bale’s legs. His orange fur was glossy against the snowy backdrop. He nosed Bale once before slipping inside.
“Can you grab the box? It’s a bit heavy. It has the dessert in it. How’s Darius tonight?” Isaac asked as he gingerly came up the steps. He glanced toward the kitchen where they could see the excitable Caspian bouncing around Darius and the cats.
“He’s been better. We almost lost another batch of lightbulbs,” Bale said quietly. “He was worried he scared you away.”
“Oh, shit. I didn’t mean to do that. The Centre took off, and we’ve been run off our feet. And here I was the one who demanded we spend time together.” Isaac tugged on the hat he wore and stared unhappily at the kitchen. “He likes having family near, even if he doesn’t show it. And I fucked up.”
“You didn’t fuck up. Just tell him the truth, and Dare’ll understand,” Bale suggested. Isaac raised an eyebrow before shaking his head and entering the house. If only Bale could follow his own advice. Darius refused to listen to him though.
Half an hour later, a flushed Adam and Trey came in through the front door with a reluctant Mush trailing behind. Trey greeted the cats loudly before finding a spot at the dining room table. He tipped his head at Bale before kissing Darius hard on the top of his head. “The party can begin. I am here.”
“Get off, you twat.” Darius batted him away and slipped to the kitchen where Isaac was poking around.
Bale smiled at the immediate change in Darius. The tension he’d been carrying disappeared, and he seemed energized as he spoke with Isaac. The cats were stretched out on window ledges, showing off their furry bellies. Bale’s house was content.
Adam sidled over to Bale and bumped his arm gently. “You look better. How are you?”
“Watching over Darius is like a full-time job,” Bale confessed quietly. Darius jerked his head up and glowered at Bale. “I was concerned briefly, but he’s acting more like himself now.”
“And your wings? Have you found someone to talk to?” Adam asked as he reached out to touch the leathery membrane.
Bale shrugged. There wasn’t enough space to spread his wings, so he had to verbalize how odd he felt. “I want to fly, but I can’t get the lift. I’ve tried speaking with your trees, but it’s winter, and they seem to be dormant now? I haven’t located a winter spirit yet. They hide better than any other cryptid here.”
“Winter spirits? They have seasonal ones?” Adam asked, fascinated. Darius left Isaac and listened in. “How does that work?”
“It’s like Japanese animism. Everything has one. The western world just lost access to theirs,” Darius explained. “You never told me you were seeking help.”
“You never asked.”
“I didn’t think I had to!” Darius shot back.
“It’s called kindness, Darius. Some people employ it.”