Page 96 of Fierce-Hyde

“Do you believe that?” he asked.

“I’m afraid to answer this,” she said. “I don’t want to argue with you.”

“I like you are thinking of that, but don’t worry. I want you to answer how you feel. You always did before and I’m going to feel like shit if you can’t be who you’ve always been.”

“I know that,” she said, reaching for his hand. “I think these were things I was going to say to Raina and I wouldn’t have had to worry. I didn’t even want to tell her what was going on. I just wanted to talk to her so that I can be reminded what a normal family is like.”

It was the sad way she said it.

That she didn’t want to burden anyone else with her worries or problems.

“I don’t want you to hold back from me,” he said. “That isn’t what people do who love each other. And if you’re afraid to sayit, I’ll say it first. I don’t think anyone should rush to move in together, but that is their choice. I’ve never lived with a woman full time. Just splitting our time at each other’s places.”

“Oh, thank God,” she said, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “We agree.”

They both laughed. “See. But other people rush to live together. I’m not saying I wouldn’t want to do it. Or even do it with you. But neither of us is at that point, don’t you think?”

“Not even close,” she said. “I love you and all, but I want to know more of your bad habits and I think you’d want to know more about mine. We can get there if we want but at our own pace.”

“Yes,” he said. “Our pace.” It just occurred to him that her mother said Tori never dated. “Did you tell your mother about me?”

“No,” she said. She put her hand up. “Don’t get mad and I won’t get defensive. Let me explain first.”

He wasn’t mad, but he was hurt. “Go on.”

“The whole call was about her. It always is. She never asks me about my life or what is going on. I think she figures everything is perfect with me or maybe she doesn’t care. I don’t know. But since I’ve lived here, it’s been this way. I volunteer little because she gets sarcastic and I don’t want to hear it.”

“Taking the easy way again,” he said.

“Hyde. I know you don’t want to fight any more than I do. I said that to you in a weak moment and don’t need it thrown back at me.”

Which was wrong of him to do.

“See,” he said. “This is why we are nowhere near living together. You needed to talk to someone and I’m working you up. Sorry.”

“Let’s recalibrate. I appreciate you taking the time to let me talk more than I can even express. I wasn’t going to say a word to you, but it’s like you knew something was wrong.”

“It was all over your face,” he said. “You don’t hide your feelings well even when you think you do.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever thought much of it because my mother never looked or cared. And I’ve never been close enough to anyone else to worry if they saw them.”

“Well, you’re close enough to me. I saw the signs and I figured it out. I’m glad you told me what happened and I’m sorry if I’m being judgmental.”

“Just a little,” she said, pushing her chair back to stand up. “And you need to get back to work and so do I.”

He worried maybe they hit one of those bumps in the road just now when he was trying everything he could to avoid that.

29

TREAT ON THE EYES

Five days later, Tori was walking into a conference in town. Her Executive Director, Molly, had just walked away from her. Normally the two of them would have ridden together, but this was close to her boss’s house and they wouldn’t need to go into the office today.

She loved conferences and learning new things but rarely got to go to them all.

But this one was centered more around her programs.

She was moving around and talking to people she knew and walked to a group by a station with pamphlets.

---