Page 15 of Do You Ship It

Then again, I’d never had to activelyworkto make sure he didn’t forget me or let our friendship slip by the wayside. As one of the few genuinely good-looking, decent guys in our year group, I’d always harboured a bit of a crush on him, but it wasn’t until he turned down another girl and asked if I wanted to go to prom with him instead that I realized my feelings for Jake ran alotdeeper than just cherishing our friendship. Istarted daydreaming about how we’d be hanging out and so easily, so naturally, he’d turn to me and we’d be kissing …

Ididhold out hope for a bit of a movie-worthy moment at prom. I wanted to be Rachel Chu arriving at Araminta’s lavish wedding with all theCrazy Rich Asianaunties stunned speechless, or maybe Laney in her red dress inShe’s All That. We were all sharing a limo as a group, but I got ready at Jake’s house. His big sister Ginny was home, so she’d offered to help with my hair and make-up, and I had visions of walking down the stairs and Jake catching his breath, unable to take his eyes off me …

The exaggerated wolf-whistle I got wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for.

I wish he hadn’t had to move house, or go to this new college. It’s almost an hour on the bus to get to his now, not just a fifteen-minute walk down over the canal. Before summer, we used to hang out almost every day. Mum’s comment about growing up and growing apart suddenly resurfaces in my brain, but I refuse to acknowledge it, instead shoving it deep, deep down.

The big driveway is empty: Ginny’s not home, and Jake’s parents are still at work.

According to Daphne’s logic, this isdefinitelymore like a date.

It’s good news, but my stomach ties itself into suchknots I think I might be sick. Why does it suddenly feel like everything hinges on how this evening goes? We’re just hanging out, like we’ve done a thousand times before. I won’t be trying to make any moves, like holding his hand or leaning over to kiss his cheek, so it won’t ruin our friendship, but if it’snota date –

If itisa date –

As I walk down the garden path to Jake’s front door, I force myself to concentrate on my breathing, which feels too loud and a bit ragged. I try to regulate it, but it’s hard now I’m actively thinking about it. Not too shallow, not too heavy.For God’s sake, breathe like a normal human, Cerys!

Before I can lift a hand to knock on the door, it swings open.

And there’s Jake, beaming at me, a fingerprint smudge on his glasses, the white shirt he has to wear for his uniform looking a bit rumpled; the sleeves are falling down where he folded them up in his usual carefree manner. He stands barefoot on the doormat, and I’m already grinning back, wondering excitedly,was he stood there waiting for me?

‘Hey there, newbie! The sensor went off on the Ring camera,’ he says, reading my mind in that way he does. My cheeks heat, and I try to will the blush away, not sure I’m very successful at it. Then he looks at mylips, and my stomach flips and I inhale sharply as Jake says … ‘You’re, er, trying something new? That’s a different look for you.’

I bite my lower lip, just barely. It feels sticky. ‘Do you like it?’

Jake’s not looking at my mouth anymore, though, he’s looking just at me, with one eyebrow twisted upwards. ‘Doyoulike it?’

I’m deflated, I’m crushed, I’m … actually honestly reassured that it’s not just me who thinks this is not reallyme. I laugh, a bit shakily. ‘One of the girls did it for me. I love it on her, but …’

‘Maybe a different … colour?’

‘Maybe,’ I agree, and we lock eyes for a moment before we both laugh; it makes me feel lighter, everything feeling normal between us again.

See, Mum? We aren’t drifting apart. We’re solid as ever.

‘T-shirt looks great, though!’ he tells me with a wink that buoys me enough to strike a little pose, hip jutted out and hand fanning down the length of my torso.

‘Fandom’s a good look on me, huh?’

‘And to think – we’re only just getting started.’ His tone is cheeky, borderline flirty, and I’m too giddy to think up a good response.

‘Come in, we were just making a snack. You want anything?’

‘Sure,’ I say, and it comes out a bit too breathless.Crap! Breathe, Cerys, don’t be weird!‘Yeah, I’d … Wait, did you say “we”? But I thought …’

I look again at the driveway in front of the garages, which is empty.

Jake, though, points carelessly over my other shoulder, where there’s a small and slightly battered black Ford parked at a crooked angle on the pavement. He’s already moving inside, assuming I’m following, as he says, ‘Yeah, Max is here. Our physics lesson got cancelled, so we came back here to try catch up on the classwork. Explain to me how the teacher gets sick, but it’s onusto make up for that? Is your college like that, too?’

My mouth opens, but I can’t respond.

Max is here.

Why is Max here?

This is meant to beourtime,ourhangout.

What on earth made Jake think I wanted his new friend around? He’s notmyfriend.

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