Page 92 of The Company We Keep

“Back to that day after the day with Emerson,” he admitted, finally. Dust sighed and moved closer to him on top of the sheets.

“The day you thought I was dead?”

Carrow nodded.

“Why is it bothering you?” he asked.

Carrow flopped to his stomach.

“I don’t know how to explain this to you. I spent decades before I met you under the assumption that I’d never beimportantto someone. When I thought you were gone, it was like things were falling into place.”

Dust dragged a hand down his back. The touch was warm. Grounding.

“When you were gone, it seemed like things were back to the way theyshouldbe.”

Dust hummed, thoughtfully and seemed to get lost in his own distant world then. Carrow let them lay like that, not knowing what else he could say to explain himself.

“A paradigm shift,” Dust said after a few moments of heavy silence.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s when your fundamental assumptions about life change — like a totally new approach to life.”

“I know what a paradigm shift is,” Carrow said, flashing Dust a crooked smile. “But what does it have to do with that day?”

“That was the last day you spent in your old paradigm. You were waiting for proof that you didn’t deserve to be loved — and then you had the proof. But that night, I came back. Irrefutable evidence that the old way you approached life was flawed. So… I forced a paradigm shift.”

“I guess,” Carrow said, not totally convinced, not sure what point Dust was getting at. “Is that supposed to help me get past the feeling that all of this is too good to be true?”

“Yes,” Dust said, firm. “Bad things are still going to happen. Jobs will keep going wrong, people will keep trying to kill us. But the baseline is good. The baseline isus.You can relax a little.”

“Are you saying that for me or for you?” Carrow asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For both of us,” he said quickly. “I’ve felt like that too. But… we dodged the bullet. At least for now.”

Carrow turned then, gathering Dust up in his arms.

“I never thought the person who broke me would be the same person to bind me back up,” Carrow admitted. “Either way, I’m glad it was you.”

In their secondweek in the village, The Company had managed to drag Carrow and Dust out to the beach for a walk before dinner. Their collective veganism had been relaxed to include the seafood caught by the village surrounding them. Herron — who had been the instigator for an animal-free diet to begin with — was the first to begin talking about flexibility. They respected the work of the fishermen and wanted to participate in the local culinary traditions.

So, it was settled. Things caught by hand from the sea were back on the menu.

The sun was setting when the six friends walked up to a small crowd gathered on the shore. They were watching two men who had waded out into the bay. Excitement rippled through the crowd. The two young men were up to their chests, dragging something through the water.

“What’s going on?” Carrow asked Leta. She paused a moment to listen to the chatter.

“They’ve got a net,” she said finally.

“They’re seining,” Dust said, something a little bit like awe in his voice.

The men were straining on their way back to shore, dragging the long net between them. When they made it back tothe beach, the crowd drew close around them. Dust broke away from The Company without looking back, and the villagers politely made a spot for him. They’d all squatted, talking excitedly about the wriggling fish and sea life there in the net. The men started sorting their catch.

Then, something odd happened.

Dust stepped between the fishermen. He reached down and with two hands he picked up a small fish. It was flopping, gasping, and its scaled body caught the dying sunlight, glimmering like jewels.

"Làm on. Nhìn kìa — nh?," Dust said, holding up the wriggling fish. He pantomimed throwing it out to the sea.

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