Page 76 of Untouchable

* * *

“I learnedto snowboard in high school,” Parker says. “And it was like, completely life changing. I think, probably, that might actually be my favorite outdoor thing to do. I haven’t been in ages, though.”

He pauses, thinking about Cole. Cole had been an avid skier, and whenever they’d gone into the mountains, he’d insisted Parker ski with him instead of snowboard. He grimaces.

What a dick, he thinks.

Parker suddenly realizes that Harp hasn’t said a word or touched his food since they sat down. His first instinct is to apologize for dominating the conversation again, but he’s trying to trust by now that his worries about what Harp is thinking don’t necessarily reflect reality.

“Um, is everything okay?”

* * *

The beer has hithim wrong and everything feels like it's crashing and burning.

Blowjob Mountain. It would be pretty funny if it wasn't so true. Harp had talked himself into thinking his attraction to Parker was awkward but harmless, but obviously that's not the case. Even as they've been sitting here, as Harp has been sinking into turmoil, some part of him has found time to be lecherous.

He's been watching Parker's lips and thinking about... Hell, oral hadn't even entered the equation yet. Blowjob Mountain seemed like an unfair name when Harp hadn’t even had time to think about what it would be like to kissParker.

Not that that matters. Because neither are going to happen. Because he’s a kid and you’re…

A Harptopus, his memory helpfully supplies.

Harp feels like he's trying to listen to Parker talk underwater until Parker asks if everything is okay.

"Sorry, got side-tracked. I apologize. You were talking about snowboarding?" Harp feels terrible that he wasn't listening. He's sure this is something that happens to Parker often.

* * *

Parker picksat his lip nervously, a pit forming in his stomach. He scans the past hour in his memory, trying to figure out how he’d managed to fuck up what had been such a wonderful day. Had Harp been able to sense how their roughhousing was affecting Parker?

He shakes himself mentally. That’s impossible, he tells himself. He hadn’t gotten hard—well, not really, anyway—and how else would Harp know?

Though, Parker thinks, Harp does seem to be able to read him like a book. His heart sinks. Parker hasn’t exactly been subtle about his feelings—draping himself over Harp on the couch, climbing into his lap, crawling all over him in the snow.

God,Parker thinks, he’s probably figuring out how to quarantine you in one part of the house so he doesn’t have to keep getting felt up by you.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his voice gone small and soft.

* * *

This is exactlywhat Harp didn't want to happen. He refuses to be the source of making Parker feel small and unimportant. Even if there's something else going on here with whatever the fuck joke Mindy was trying to make, it isn’t something important enough for Parker to talk to him about yet. The only thing he can do is operate on real knowledge, not assumptions.

"I'm sorry," Harp repeats. "I was concentrating on something else and I wasn't listening to you. Thanks for being patient with me. You said you started snowboarding in high school—and I zoned out after that because of my own shit—not because it was boring. Would you start over?"

Harp finishes his speech, hopes it's enough, and shovels polenta he no longer wants into his mouth.

* * *

Parker blinksand then smiles slowly. He’s still not used to this—to someone like Harp, who might space out while Parker’s talking but always apologizes and asks him to repeat. It just seems to highlight how few people in Parker’s life have ever been willing to do that, and the thought makes him both sad and happy. Sad because that’s not something he’d wish on anyone. Happy, because now he has Harp.

He’s not yours, though, he reminds himself.

“Oh, I was just saying—I like snowboarding a lot. I haven’t been in a while, but—it’s just so satisfying, you know? Like, um, these tiny shifts in balance and you can control where you go, and it’s so exhilarating with the wind, and stuff—have you ever been? If you haven’t we should go—”

Parker shuts himself up by shoving more food in his mouth, knowing he’s being over-eager and, frankly, weird. And even though he and Harp had declared their friendship for one another last night, Parker’s still nervous about coming on too strongly. Especially after last night. And this afternoon.

God, Parker, can’t you just be normal for once?

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