Page 283 of Untouchable

"Fine. Whatever. Maybe families don't work like that," she says waving him off. "What are you going to do now? When does his brother leave?"

“I… don’t know,” he says with a sigh. “I mean, I guess we’ll talk, and… I don’t even know. I—I really do love him, Mindy.” He sighs and smiles weakly. “Why can’t I just have a relationship with no conflict ever for the rest of forever?”

"No idea," Mindy says dreamily. "It's such a reasonable thing to expect out of life..."

She tickles him until he squirms.

"I'm sorry, Parker. It sounds like Harp was really... trying, I guess. Did he say he loves you back?"

Parker hesitates.

“Well… no,” he says, cutting her off when she opens her mouth to say something. “But—it’s different than it was with Cole. Harp is… he’s spent a lot of time being alone. I told him he didn’t have to say it because—I mean, it’s just a few words, right? Like, he’s done all this amazing stuff for me and—”

"Oh, Parker," Mindy says, sounding immensely sad. "Oh, baby, come here," she says, pulling him in tighter.

Parker feels something inside him crumple, as though his heart is made of rice paper. His eyes prick with tears.

“I’m being pathetic, aren’t I?” he whispers, his voice raw. “It’s just like Cole all over again, isn’t it?”

"It's not that," she says. "I know you love Harp—and I don't think he's Cole. But that doesn't mean this situation is perfect either, y'know? I think this happened... fast."

He scoots further down under the comforter, burrowing into the pillow against Mindy, and she strokes his hair. He shudders and begins to cry again, each sob coming fast and ugly.

“I feel so fucking stupid,” he says. “I told myself after—after Cole, I wouldn’t let this happen again and—now it is—”

"You're not stupid," Mindy says firmly. "You're smart enough to be thinking about it now, right? And you're thinking about it way earlier than you did with Cole."

“Yeah, but—”

“Parker, babe, don’t beat yourself up,” Mindy says soothingly. “If someone treats you like shit, it’s not because of you. It’s because they’re a dick, or whatever.”

Parker swallows hard.

“He—he said this thing,” he says. It’s almost painful to get the words out, as if this makes the whole thing somehow more real. He realizes, then, that he’s afraid to tell Mindy about it—because he knows she’ll tell him he needs to leave Harp.

And he’s terrified that she might be right.

“Harp did. When—when we were at the bar. I’d been talking to Gil, and—and then Gil left, and Harp said that… Gil would like me more if I didn’t… talk the way I do—”

"What the fuck does that mean? Oh my God, Parker."

“I don’t know,” Parker says, and it comes out as practically a wail. “I couldn’t believe it. It sounded just like something Cole would have said—I mean, it was something Cole said to me, all the time, and then I just—I dunno, then the server came to take us to our table, and then Gil came back and then—I never got a chance to—I don’t know—”

"Ugh, and that was after you told him you love him, right?"

Parker nods, miserably.

"I don't know,” she says, chewing on her lip. “Parker, this feels... Maybe it's good that this is coming out now and not down the road."

“What if—what if it was, like, he didn’t mean it, and—”

"I obviously can't tell you what he meant. But even the best case scenario seems... really shitty."

Parker heaves a sigh. They sit quietly for a while, Mindy rubbing Parker’s back as a single question swirls around and around and around in his mind.

“Do I have to break up with him?” he asks in a small voice.

"You know I can't tell you that, lovebug."

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