Page 268 of Untouchable

Parker’s smile freezes on his face, and he laughs stiffly. He feels like he’s just been slapped, and cold shivers of anxiety are racing down his back.

“Ha, I, um, guess we’ll never know.”

A long, pregnant pause follows, and Parker looks down at his empty drink—when did that happen?—and closes his eyes for a moment, as if that will somehow shield him from the overwhelming desire to be anywhere but here.

"Oh my God, you guys," Gil says, laughing and leaning into Harp's bulk. "I'm just kidding, Jesus, I'm giving you a hard time."

Gil gets the bartender's attention and orders them another round without asking. Harp puts a hand on Parker's knee under the bar top.

Parker tries to remind himself that he just doesn’t get Gil’s humor. There’s no way he’d intended his joke to be as…. hurtful as it was.

But it was hurtful, and he suddenly becomes very interested in the little paper coaster under his drink. He puts his hand over Harp’s and squeezes as doubt creeps in. Is that what Gil—what everyone—really thinks of him? That he’d just thrown himself at the first person who would have him?

That’s kind of what happened with Cole, he thinks.

He swallows hard.

* * *

"Seriously,though, you weren't bored loopy by Harp?" Gil asks, stirring his seltzer with the straw. "I bet he ran out of things to do and made you do chores or made you listen to some obscure record or something."

Harp can see the calculations happening in Gil's mind.

His brother isn't the smartest person Harp has ever met, but he's good at reading people, terribly talented at drawing information out and putting it together the way he wants it, seizing on the smallest details.

If Gil hadn't already guessed at the timeline of their relationship, he must practically know how it happened now that Parker has given him these tidbits—his statement about Parker spending time with his boyfriend at the beginning of the interrogation seems carefully calculated enough that Harp can guess Gil is probably five steps ahead of Parker in this conversation.

Gil is fly fishing, throwing tantalizing questions into the water to see what Parker might bite. Harp can see it so clearly, but sweet Parker isn't thinking that way.

But if Harp says something—tells him to stop fishing and stop being rude—Gil is just as likely to play the hurt little brother who doesn't know why everyone is being so mean to him as he is to fess up to the bad behavior and stop.

All they can do is be the bigger people here. Let Gil be a brat, let him keep pretending he’s being nice. If someone’s going to make a scene, it’s not going to be Harp, that’s for damned sure. He doesn’t even taste the whiskey he’s been sipping.

Parker laughs, a little more naturally this time.

“Um, we did watch this movie that totally went over my head. It was... Strangers In Paradise or something? I think we mentioned that before. But we didn’t end up finishing. I liked the parts of it we did see, though,” he says, clearly lying.

Harp knows that “Stranger Than Paradise” is one of Gil's favorite movies but he watches now as Gil laughs generously and agrees that it sounds tedious.

"So you just couldn't make yourself sit through it, huh?"

God, Harp hates this. Why does Gil have to do this? Why does Parker have to fall for it?

* * *

“Well,it was more that I got, uh, distracted. From, you know. Getting high,” Parker grins. “It was my first time and so I was having trouble even hanging onto a conversation, y’know?”

"Not trying to be a buzzkill, but that's gotta break... every rule in the employee code of conduct. Weren't you freaked out you were going to get fired or something?"

Parker squirms in his seat, wishing Harp would say something.

“Kinda, yeah,” he says, turning bright red. When he’d talked to his boss he hadn’t exactly mentioned the snowed in part. “I mean, if Harp had been uncomfortable, we totally could have found him another therapist.”

"That's crazy," Gil says dismissively, but he’s still smiling. "I love it. You two are just one wacky success story, you know? So did you just know, when you were sitting around smoking weed with Harp that he was the one for you? I mean, at what point did that dawn on you?"

Parker glances at Harp, wondering if Harp is panicking or simply zoning out as he sometimes does. He realizes, though, that he’s on his own for this conversation. All he can do is be kind and hope that Gil returns the favor, and so he soldiers on.

“Well,” Parker says with a crooked smile, rubbing Harp’s back. “I’d kinda had a crush on him for weeks. I was going out of my mind the whole time before we—well, y’know, just wondering… if… he felt the same way? But also thinking, oh, there’s no way he could, but then also… wanting to hope? Having a crush is exhausting, I think.” He grins.

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