Page 239 of Untouchable

"Goddamn it, Gil," Harp says, pulling his brother into a tight hug. "I'm glad as hell you're here. You look like a new man. I'm glad you wanted to come out and surprise me."

"Hey, c'mon, watch it," Gil says as Harp releases him from the hug and razzes him, grabbing him by the back of the neck and roughhousing affectionately, falling into old habits. He manages to tickle Gil for a minute before his brother pushes him off. "Don't beat me up. I guess I could use a shower."

* * *

Parker finishes the dishes and,still humming with excess nervous energy, goes about neatening up the kitchen rather compulsively. When Harp comes back up the stairs, he finds Parker in the middle of refolding the dish towels hanging on the stove and Parker quickly hangs them back up, turning to Harp almost apprehensively.

“Er—sorry about yelling about your dick to your brother,” Parker says.

In an instant, Harp is across the kitchen, pulling Parker close.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Parker," he says against Parker's scalp. "I want this holiday to be special—just us. I specifically told him I was hosting my boyfriend on Christmas and—"

Parker cuts him off with a kiss, and he can’t help laughing.

“It’s okay—“ he says. “I thought... I thought maybe you’d just forgotten you invited him, like that first appointment we had.”

"God no," Harp says, laughing too. "I may be bad but I wouldn't forget—Well, Christ, I guess I forgot Thanksgiving..."

He kisses Parker's forehead and steps back.

"I guess that was a pretty fair assumption," Harp says, rubbing the back of his neck, "but no. For once this isn't just me fucking up."

Parker tilts his face up towards Harp and kisses him gently.

“I know it’s super selfish of me,” he says shyly, “but... it makes me really happy. The thought of, like, you wanting to spend the holiday with just me.” He stops, realizing he’s put his foot in his mouth. “I mean, not that it isn’t great that Gil’s here—I’m so glad to meet him, and—“

Harp kisses him deeply, licking into Parker's mouth. He stops, leaving Parker wanting, and breaks the kiss, putting space between them. "Listen, uh, I'd much rather be with you alone for the next few days. Trust me there. After last night… Yeah, it's... not selfish," Harp says finally. "It sucks. Thank you for bearing with me."

“I don’t mind it,” Parker says. He’s having trouble keeping his hands off Harp, and he can’t help reaching out to touch Harp’s chest. “And… for the record… I am sore. It’s pretty hot. Every time I try to sit down I think of you fucking me.”

* * *

Ah. Yeah. Last night. Harp had so quickly forgotten that there was any problem other than his brother's unannounced presence.

It takes Harp's mind a moment to catch up with Parker's words and when it does, it takes everything in his power not to grab Parker and roll his body against him.

This must be what it's like to be Parker,Harp thinks abruptly, because it really has been difficult to keep his hands off of Parker now that the last barrier between them has fallen away.

It just drives home how perfect this holiday would've been without his little brother tagging along. They could've continued exploring each other at a frenzied pace and maybe eventually figured out how to be in the same room together while remaining calm.

It's nearly impossible to concentrate on the crisis at hand when he's thinking about Parker's ass, tender from the stretch the night before, how sensitive he would be if Harp could lay him facedown on the bed again for a while and—

"Goddamn it, Parker," Harp says and it's nearly a growl. It feels like the universe is conspiring to kill him today.

“I guess I should behave myself,” Parker says, pretending to sulk. “Which will be almost impossible for me. I’ve only come once today and it’s already ten a.m. This is inhumane.”

"It's pretty inhumane," Harp says, trying and probably failing to mask the chaos he feels internally.

“Are you okay?” Parker asks. The uptalking Harp hasn’t heard in a while is creeping back into Parker’s voice, as if each sentence is a little ski jump. “You seemed kind of… anxious, I guess? At breakfast? Or maybe not even anxious, just like… on another planet. But maybe not, like, a planet you were having a ton of fun on.”

"This just isn't how I envisioned the two of you meeting," he says.

To be honest, Harp hadn't envisioned the two of them meeting. He tends to keep blinders on in his head, and although he could sense there was friction when Harp told Gil about Parker to begin with, he hadn't revisited the source of it in his mind.

He also hadn't planned on being forced to deal with it so quickly. Harp is only just getting his footing with Parker—has just had the rug pulled out from under him by three simple words, uttered so easily—and now family has to complicate things.

It's difficult not to retreat, to back away from everything, to say that this is a disaster and not worth it. It's ridiculous, Harp knows, and not a solution to simply abandon someone. He doesn't even want to abandon Parker—the thought terrifies him.

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