Page 209 of Untouchable

“Yeah, I guess we are pretty serious,” Parker says. “And—um, I mean—yeah, he was married but—a long time ago and… yeah.” He takes a giant bite of his wrap, hoping it will deter her from asking questions.

She takes a long pause and Parker can feel the tone of the conversation shift.

"Parker, I can remember what it feels like to be 26. I know it's been... a hard year without Cole. I can't blame you for feeling like you need someone to fill that void but... well, if this is a cry for help, consider yourself heard loud and clear."

She puts her hand palm-up on the table.

"I'm here for you. And I'm worried about you. Help me understand this, Parker."

He stares at his mother’s upturned hand, utterly horrified.

“Mom—this isn’t—what?” he stammers. “This isn’t about Cole—god, I—I’m so glad I’m not with him anymore. He treated me terribly, Mom.”

"He wantedthe best for you—just like we all do," she says, withdrawing her hand.

“Are you kidding?” Parker says, louder than he means to. “He—he was so mean. But—but this isn’t about Cole. I’m dating Harp because I like him and he makes me happy. And—and that’s just the way it is.”

"So he does 'freelance writing and stuff for a job,'" she parrots back at him cruelly. "Can you elaborate on that? It sounds interesting."

“Um, it’s like tech writing and stuff, I think. He said it’s… pretty boring, actually, like… writing instruction manuals,” he says. Parker shifts in his seat uncomfortably. He knows his mother is playing some game with him, but he can’t figure out what, and it’s making his skin crawl. “I dunno. We don’t really talk about it.”

"Stop slouching, Parker," she says, sounding exhausted. "What do you talk about? I'm not trying to be rude, I just can't imagine what the two of you must have in common."

Parker straightens up, trying to square his shoulders though he suddenly feels like a small child.

“We—we talk about a lot of things. The animals. He shows me how to build stuff—we made this… cat shelter thing, and… I mean, I don’t know. He’s really interesting and smart and knows a lot of stuff and… he listens to me.” Parker’s red-faced and stammering, and he realizes his mom has gotten him again—he’s defending his relationship to her.

He sighs heavily.

“Look, Mom, he treats me really well, okay? I know—I know it probably looks… weird from the outside because he’s older than me, but… it’s not… he’s just really nice, okay? And generous. And—and—you never cared that Cole was older than me, so—”

She lets out a laugh that's a little strangled. "Five years older than you is hardly old enough to be your father. That doesn't bother you, at all? Why doesn't he date someone his own age?"

“Mom, it’s—it’s complicated,” he says, his speech getting rushed and tight, the way it always does when he and his mother get into the thick of it like this. He can never seem to think quickly enough, and he feels like he’s playing some kind of mental game of cat and mouse he has no hope of winning. “It’s—he was in the closet for a long time and—it’s—it’s not easy to be gay in a small town, okay? And—besides—we’re—we’re happy, isn’t that enough?”

He finally meets his mother’s eyes, looking at her pleadingly. By now he’s half forgotten the encouraging words Harp had sent him at the beginning of the conversation. All he can think about is placating his mother, getting her approval.

"Happy for how long, Parker?" she asks. Her tone is gentle again, a little dismayed. She puts her hand on top of the table but then seems to think better of it, looking at it and then at Parker, pulling it back and acting wounded. "Things are nice now, when he wants to treat you, fix your car maybe—but do you still think this is going to be fascinating for you a year from now?"

Parker’s eyes widen.

How did she know about the car?

He scans through their conversation, desperate to figure out how she’d pieced together that it was Harp he was on a payment plan with, not the mechanic. He can’t think of a single thing, but then again, his mother has always been much smarter than him. It’s possible she’d just made a lucky guess, but his mother had an uncanny ability to read Parker’s mind, as if she could open his brain up like a toy-box and look inside.

"You're too trusting, Parker. Take a step back and look at this. I don't see two equals who are going to fall in love and have a happy future together—and I don't think you do, either, if you're honest with yourself. I see an older person toying with someone for a little while, before he moves on to the next. I know it must feel like he's helping you right now, but this man is taking advantage of you, Parker." She sounds immensely—almost believably—sad.

Parker’s brow furrows and he stares at her, his mouth slightly open. He can’t possibly see how his mother could have gotten such a wrong impression about Harp, that he would be anything less than thoughtful and gentle and so free to give his love and energy.

But even as he thinks this, he can feel doubt nibbling at the edge of his mind, like some kind of milky-eyed fish that’s swum up from the deep. It’s easy to believe Harp, to trust him, when he’s away from his mother, when Harp’s holding him in his arms and whispering sweet things against his neck.

But his mother has always exerted some kind of otherworldly force on Parker, and he feels himself second-guessing everything. He hates it, too, hates how they’ve barely been here half an hour and already she’s grinding away at the foundation of the first relationship that’s ever really made him happy.

“Mom, he’s not like that—” Parker says desperately. “I know that—I know that he seems… standoffish. He’s not—he’s not the easiest person to get to know. But once you do—look, I see a different side of him, okay?”

"I'm sure you see what he wants you to see—but it doesn't sound like you know him very well at all. You barely even understand what he does for a living."

“He writes manuals about planes,” Parker says. He feels like they’re going in circles and he doesn’t know what he can possibly say to make her believe him. “It’s not that big a deal. He volunteers at the animal shelter, he goes hiking a lot, he does carpentry and stuff, he’s an amazing cook—and… we’ve talked about, like, really deep stuff, Mom. I just—I don’t get why you won’t trustme.”

---