Page 30 of Poltergeists & Change of Life

"It was the guardian of the Arcanum," I explained. "Apparently, Lyra's little Dark magic playground has developed a conscience since she created it. Talk about your unexpected plot twists."

"That’s why it wasn’t all evil. What did you do when you encountered it? Did you kill it?" Nina asked as she bounced in her seat.

I gestured to Nana with a flourish, "That's where this spry old lady worked her magic. And by magic, I mean she sassed the poor construct so hard, I thought its paper would catch fire."

Nana took a mock bow while remaining in her seat. "What can I say? When you've got underwear older than most of the 'ancient' magic in that dusty hole, you learn a thing or two about putting uppity guardians in their place."

"She basically challenged it to a riddle-off," I continued, still impressed by Nana's audacity. "Said if we could answer its toughest riddle, it had to let us in."

"Well, don't leave us in suspense!" Mythia exclaimed as she fluttered above the stove. "What was the riddle?"

Nana cleared her throat dramatically, then spoke in a comically deep voice, "'I have a mouth but do not speak, a bed but do not sleep. I can run but never walk, and have a head but never talk. What am I?'"

The kitchen fell silent as everyone pondered the riddle. After a moment, Tseki's eyes lit up, "A river!"

"Ding, ding, ding!" I cheered. "Give the dragon a cigar! Or, you know, a nice shiny gold coin or whatever it is dragons prefer these days."

Selene looked impressed as she asked, "And the guardian let you in after that?"

"Grudgingly," Nana confirmed. "It dissolved into a hidden doorway, looking about as happy as a wet cat. But we were in, ready to dive into the treasure trove of magical knowledge."

"And by 'dive in’, she means 'wobble cautiously while trying not to hurl all over ancient tomes’," I added dryly. "Let me tell you, pregnancy and intense magical auras do not mix well. It's like the world's worst carnival ride."

As our family peppered us with more questions about the Arcanum and its contents, I couldn't help but smile despite the lingering queasiness. Sure, my life had become a constant gameof "Duck, Duck, Apocalypse," but with this crazy, magical family by my side, I wouldn't have it any other way. Even if it meant occasionally facing off against snarky paper monsters in moldy subway stations.

Just as Mythia and Mom finished setting out the food, the back door flew open with a bang that made me wonder if we'd accidentally summoned a minor windstorm. For a brief moment, I thought the universe had granted my wish for some excitement to liven up our dinner. As usual, the universe had outdone itself. Its sense of humor was as subtle as a chainsaw in an art gallery.

In strode a woman who could only be described as divinely dramatic. Aidon's sister, Melinoë, the goddess of nightmares, burst into the kitchen like a sugar-rushed tornado in a glitter factory. Aidon and Stella were right behind her. All three of them looked like they'd just survived the Underworld's most intense escape room.

Melinoë's eyes locked onto me, and she made a beeline for my swollen belly. "Well, well, if it isn't my favorite walking incubator." Her voice was affectionate and mischievous. She placed a hand on my stomach, and I swear the babies did a synchronized somersault. "Hello, little chaos agents. Your Aunt Melinoë can't wait to teach you all about causing divine mischief."

"How sweet," I muttered. "That's exactly what I was hoping for. Three godlings with a penchant for paranormal pranks."

Aidon snorted and pressed a kiss to my mouth. "We will be able to handle anything she teaches them. Miss us?"

"Like a toothache," I shot back, but I couldn't keep the smile from my face. "Did you bring back any souvenirs? A nice 'My family went to the Underworld, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt' perhaps?"

Stella laughed. "Oh, we've got something better than t-shirts. We've got information that'll curl your hair and plans that'll make you wish for something as simple as an apocalypse."

“Somehow, I knew you were going to say that. Let’s get food, and then you guys can fill us in,” I instructed as I grabbed a plate and began filling it. The others followed suit

Warmth filled my chest, and it had nothing to do with heartburn for once. This was my family. There were divine, mortal, and everything in between. We might be dysfunctional, we might attract more trouble than a magnet in a scrapyard, but by gods, we were in this mess together. And judging by the gleam in Melinoë's eye, our dinner conversation was about to get a whole lot more interesting. I made a mental note to hide the good china. Just in case.

Nina, bless her eternally curious heart, was the first to break the ice. "Aunt Melinoë," she began, "what's it like being the goddess of nightmares? Do you have, like, a Netflix queue of everyone's worst fears?"

Melinoë's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Oh, it's a scream, darling. Literally. And let's just say, if I had a nickel for every nightmare about showing up to school naked, I'd be able to buy out Olympus. Though lately, I've been getting a lot of dreams about people forgetting to mute themselves on Zoom calls. The modern world is a fascinating place."

"Melinoë," Aidon warned, though there was no real heat in his voice. "Let's not give the kids any ideas. The last thing we need is a surge in astral nudism or magical Zoom bombs."

"Speaking of ideas," Nana interjected, "what did you guys learn from your excursion?"

Melinoë, Aidon, and Stella exchanged glances that spoke volumes. I braced myself for bad news, idly wondering if it was too late to fake a pregnancy-related fainting spell. MaybeI could convince everyone that the babies were practicing their synchronized swimming routine and it was making me dizzy.

"As you know, we investigated Lyra's activities in the Underworld," Stella began. "And let's just say, it was... illuminating. In the way that staring directly into the sun is illuminating."

"And?" I prompted, fork poised halfway to my mouth. "Don't leave us in suspense. Has she started a demonic book club? Opened an infernal coffee shop? Learned to play the lute? Because I've got to tell you, if the fate of reality hinges on a battle of the bands, we might be in trouble. My singing could literally wake the dead. And not in a good way."

Aidon chuckled, but his eyes were serious. "Nothing so benign, I'm afraid. Remember that elusive group I'd heard whispers about but never encountered? The ones that even the shades were too scared to talk about?"

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