Page 40 of Poltergeists & Change of Life

You know how they say "no plan survives first contact with the enemy"? Well, let me tell you. When your enemy is a psychotic witch with delusions of grandeur and an army of her minions, that saying takes on a whole new level of oh shit. We'd spent the better part of three days trying to locate Lyra's hideout. As we knew from prior experience, magical megalomaniacs don't list their evil lair on Google Maps. Go figure.

"I've got it!" Stella burst into the living room. Unlike usual, her hair was a wild mess, making her look like she’d been pulling at it for hours. Her eyes also gleamed with a manic light that usually preceded either brilliant magical breakthroughs or spectacular explosions. "I've found Lyra's hideout!"

I looked up from where I was sprawled on the couch. My swollen feet were propped up on a pile of books I’d already read through. "Please tell me it's somewhere nice. Like a beach resort. Or a spa. Mama could use a prenatal massage right about now."

Stella's excitement dimmed slightly. "Um, not exactly. It's more like... an abandoned asylum."

"Of course it is. Why have your evil lair in a nice, structurally sound building when you can hole up in a creepy, probably haunted asylum? It's like Villainy one-oh-one," I replied.

Mom shrugged a shoulder. “It’s surprisingly on point for her.”

Aidon stopped pacing the room like a caged lion. "It goes beyond that, Mollie. The walls between realities would be thinner in an asylum. And that would make it easier for Lyra to channel the power of the Heart plus maintain contact with her cohorts in the Underworld."

"Fantastic," I muttered, struggling to heave myself off the couch. It was like trying to get a beached whale back into the ocean, minus the helpful volunteers. There was also a lot more swearing. "We’re going to have to deal with Lyra and her minions while possibly running into the ghosts of patients past. Just peachy."

Nana cackled from her perch atop a stack of spell books. How she got up there, I'll never know. The last time I’d looked over, she was in her recliner. "Oh, lighten up, kiddo. This is going to be another fun family outing. Nothing brings people together like fighting for your lives in a haunted asylum!"

I shot her a glare that would have stopped traffic. "Nana, your idea of 'fun' is the reason we're banned from three states and most of Eastern Europe." She cackled at my exaggeration as she went to pack her bag of tricks. The contents got scarier every time she joined us.

As we prepared for our assault on Lyra's stronghold, I couldn't help but marvel at the absurdity of it all. Our motley gang was locked and loaded for action. I was preggo and sparking magic like a faulty power line. My mountain of a man stood beside me with Underworld energy rolling off him in waves. Stella was probably cooking up some crazy scheme that'deither save our asses or get us all killed. Knowing her, it'd be a bit of both.

And let's not forget Nana. That old battle-axe was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. We’d created a monster by bringing her on that mission. She was ready to rain down senior citizen chaos. Rounding out our circus? A whole pack of shifters, claws out and itching for a fight. We were all gearing up to storm an abandoned asylum and take on forces beyond mortal comprehension.

The sun was setting when we arrived at the asylum. Yeah, the universe has a sick sense of dramatic timing. Evil was more powerful in the dark. A decrepit monstrosity that looked like it had been designed by an architect with a serious grudge against sanity loomed before us. Broken windows gaped like missing teeth. The walls were covered in a layer of grime thick enough to qualify as its own ecosystem.

"Well," I said as I eyed the asylum with all the enthusiasm of someone about to get a root canal, "I guess this is it. Last chance to back out and pretend we never found this place. Any takers?"

The silence that followed was broken only by Nana's gleeful cackle. Plus, what I strongly suspected was the sound of Melinoë sharpening something very pointy and probably illegal in most dimensions. Hephaestus would take offense. His weapons never dulled.

"Right," I sighed. "Onward into the creepy asylum of doom it is. But I swear, if anyone starts humming the theme fromHalloween, I'm waddling right back to the car."

Our motley crew moved with all the stealth of a herd of elephants trying to tiptoe. In my defense, it's hard to be sneaky when you're carrying triplets and enough magical firepower to level a small country. The interior of the asylum was, if possible, even creepier than the outside.

Shadows seemed to move of their own accord. And there was a constant whispering just at the edge of hearing. The air was also thick with the stench of decay and something else. It was older and far more sinister.

"You know," I whispered as we crept down a corridor that seemed to go on forever, "this is precisely what I imagined when I pictured my third trimester. Infiltrating lairs of evil is the new nesting."

Stella shot me a look that was equal parts exasperation and fondness. "Less quipping, more sneaking, Pheebs. We want the element of surprise."

"Hey, if I stop quipping, the existential dread might actually set in. And trust me, no one wants to see a heavily pregnant witch have an existential crisis. It won’t be pretty. There's usually ice cream involved. And fried jalapenos."

The feeling of wrongness grew stronger as we delved deeper into the asylum. The shadows became more active and occasionally formed into shapes that disappeared as soon as we looked directly at them. The whispering grew louder. I swear I could make out dark, ancient words that had no business being in a realm of sanity.

We were just about to round a corner when Aidon held up a hand, signaling us to stop. His divine senses were on high alert, and his eyes glowed with an inner light that would have been beautiful if it wasn't so terrifying. "Something's coming," he murmured in a voice that was barely audible.

And then, like someone flipped a switch labeled ‘Batshit Crazy’. All hell broke loose. The air filled with the wails of tortured souls as ghosts materialized around us. Twisted shapes of former asylum patients surrounded us. Their spectral forms flickered with pain and madness. Mixed in were Lyra's Tainted witches whose eyes glowed with unholy power. The flash of a green tail made me look to my left twice. There were also ahandful of demons that looked like they'd been yanked straight out of a heavy metal album cover. Aidon could handle the latter.

"Well," I said as my magic surged and the triplets started their in-utero gymnastics routine, "looks like the welcoming committee's here. How thoughtful of Lyra to throw us a party."

What followed was a shit show of epic proportions. Aidon's divine sword carved through the ghostly throng like a heavenly lighthouse beam piercing a fog of lost souls. Each swing left shimmering arcs of his dark radiance. They caused the spirits to howl and evaporate like mist under a scorching dark sun.

Stella was firing off spells like a magical Gatling gun. Each blast sent Tainted witches flying. Nana was cackling like the madwoman she is. I cringed when I saw her lobbing potions that exploded into clouds of neon chaos. It made demons sneeze fire, and witches sprout tentacles.

I was doing my best impression of a pregnant, pissed-off magical tank. Every blast of energy I sent out left scorch marks on reality itself. The triplets were fully on board with this plan. Their power mixed with mine in a way that made me feel like I could bitch-slap the universe if I wanted to. It was dangerous. I wasn’t invincible and I had to keep reminding myself of that.

Aidon dispatched the last of the demons, making it explode in a shower of sulfurous goo. The ghosts retreated after that, and we paused to catch our breath. The corridor looked like someone had set off a bomb in a Halloween store.

"Well," I panted as I leaned against a wall, "that was fun. Nothing like a little ghostbusting to work up an appetite. Though, I could have done without the demon snot."

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