Page 34 of Poltergeists & Change of Life

The cobblestones in front of us began to rearrange themselves, eventually forming a spiraling pattern that ledto... was that a door? A massive, intricately carved door that definitely hadn't been there a moment ago now stood before us. Its surface crawled with gears and symbols that hurt my eyes to look at directly.

The shadow beings let out a collective gasp of surprise. "Impossible," one of them whispered. "The Catacombs have chosen to reveal themselves."

Melinoë cackled, clearly delighted by this turn of events. "Oh, this is rich. Looks like my little nieces and nephew are already making waves. They take after their auntie, don't they?" She cooed and patted my stomach affectionately.

Aidon turned to me, his eyes wide with a mixture of pride, surprise, and concern. "Phoebe, are you alright?"

I nodded, still a bit shell-shocked. "Yeah, just... wasn't expecting our kids to be such overachievers before they're even born. I mean, I knew they'd be special, but rearranging ancient magical sites and making them give us access? That's not in any of the parenting books I've read."

Nana hobbled over, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Now that's what I call making an entrance! These little ones are going to keep us on our toes, mark my words."

As we sashayed up to the newly unveiled gateway to Bizarro World, the place started belching magic like a volcano with magical indigestion. It was getting all grabby with my own mystical mojo, and let me tell you, it felt like riding a unicycle on a tightrope over a pool of ticklish piranhas. Exhilarating? You bet your sparkly wand. Terrifying? Does a vampire use SPF 1000?

The babies' magic started pulsing away like they were auditioning for ‘So You Think You Can Cause Magical Mayhem’? The door was being a prima donna. It began spinning its gears faster than a sugar-rushed toddler on a merry-go-round made of espresso beans.

I gulped in air like a fish who'd just discovered scuba gear and puffed up like a marshmallow in a microwave. "Well, troops, this is it. Who's ready to take a delightful jaunt through the magical murder maze? I hear the Yelp reviews are killer."

Stella clamped onto my arm tighter than an octopus playing Twister. She was grinning like we'd just won a lifetime supply of trouble with a side of chaos. "Oh, please," she scoffed, rolling her eyes so hard I thought they might fall out and take off to get a pastry. I contemplated going with them. "They weren't murdered, drama queen. We're just entering a place full of dead people. It's like a really exclusive club where the only membership requirement is not having a pulse."

I couldn't help but mirror her lunatic grin. "Right, because that makes it so much better. Let's go see what other delightful surprises this funhouse has simmering. Knowing my luck, probably a tap-dancing minotaur with two left hooves or a sphinx whose riddles are more confusing than assembling IKEA furniture blindfolded."

CHAPTER 15

If I thought the entrance to the Clockwork Catacombs was impressive, it had nothing on the inside. Imagine the lovechild of a Swiss watch factory and Indiana Jones' worst nightmare, and you might come close to picturing what we were dealing with. The walls were lined with gears of all sizes. Some were as small as my pinky nail, and others were larger than my entire pregnant body. They whirred and clicked in a symphony of potential death. I couldn't shake the feeling that one wrong move would turn us all into very magical pancakes.

"Well," I said, eyeing a particularly nasty-looking contraption that seemed designed to slice, dice, and julienne unwary intruders, "I guess this is what happens when you let a sadistic watchmaker design your security system. Anyone else feeling like we just stepped into the world's most lethal cuckoo clock?"

Aidon's hand tightened on mine. His divine strength was a comforting anchor in this mechanical madhouse. "Stay close," he murmured as he scanned the room for potential threats. "And try not to touch anything. Who knows what might trigger these traps."

I snorted, a sound that was half amusement, half nerves. "Honey, I'm carrying triplets. My center of gravity is somewhere in the next zip code. Touching things is the least of our worries. I'm more concerned about accidentally setting off Armageddon because I sneezed at the wrong gear."

As if to prove my point, I wobbled slightly, and my elbow brushed against what looked like an innocent gear on the wall. Immediately, the floor beneath us started to shift. Tiles slid away to reveal a pit that I was pretty sure wasn't filled with fluffy pillows and kittens. Peeking over the edge made me break out in a cold sweat. There were very sharp, unfriendly-looking spikes.

"Phoebe!" Stella yelped, grabbing my arm and yanking me back just as the tile I was standing on disappeared. Her quick reflexes saved me from an impromptu acupuncture session I definitely hadn't signed up for.

"Thanks," I gasped. My heart pounded like it was trying to win a drum solo competition. "I guess the 'look but don't touch' rule applies to pregnant ladies too. Noted. No more unintentional redecorating of ancient death traps."

Melinoë suddenly perked up. She’d been unusually quiet, (a state that always made me nervous) until that point. Now, her eyes gleamed with a manic light that spelled trouble with a capital T. "Ooh, this looks fun," she said, eyeing the pit with disturbing glee. "Anyone up for a game of the floor is lava? Winner gets to keep their limbs!"

She was as happy as a vampire at a blood bank, or a goth teenager let loose in Hot Topic with an unlimited credit card. It made me wonder what kind of twisted Underworld Disneyland she and Aidon grew up in. I mean, most kids had swing sets and sandboxes. These two probably had torture racks and pools of souls to splash around in. Their idea of hide-and-seek likely involved actual demons and spirits. I bet their temper tantrums could raise the dead. Literally.

"How about we don't?" I suggested, rubbing my belly soothingly as the triplets kicked up a storm. They seemed as unsettled by our surroundings as I was. Or maybe they were just expressing their disapproval of Aunt Melinoë's idea of fun. Smart kids. "I'd like to keep all my body parts, thank you very much. I'm kind of attached to them. Literally."

Nana’s eyes twinkled with mischief as she gestured to the pit. "Oh, come on, where's your sense of adventure? When I was knee-high to a grasshopper, we used to sneak into old McGillicuddy's haunted barn just for kicks. Now, that was a real death trap. It came complete with rusty nails, angry ghosts, and a perpetually pissed-off cow."

I rolled my eyes so hard I was worried they might get stuck. "Nana, your imagination is working overtime today. Next thing you'll be telling us, you've been secretly training with Merlin on weekends."

Nana's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Oh honey, Merlin wishes he could keep up with me. I may be new to this magic gig, but I'm making up for lost time. Why, just last week, I turned Mrs. Henderson's prize-winning petunias into a conga line of carnivorous plants. They've got quite the appetite for garden gnomes now."

I blinked, trying to process this information. "Nana, please tell me you're joking. We can't be the ones to let magic slip to the mundies. We’re supposed to be the examples of how to live a law-abiding magical life."

"Details, details." Nana waved her hand dismissively. "The point is, I may have only had magic for a year, but I'm squeezing every drop of fun out of it. You could learn a thing or two about seizing the day. Or in our case, seizing the magic and making it dance to our tune."

I shook my head as a reluctant smile tugged at my lips. We inched our way forward. Being the size of a small housemade navigating through a maze of shifting gears and swinging blades challenging. I hadn't caught my breath when we entered a corridor that kept trying to turn itself inside out. It was like being in a fun house designed by a committee of evil geniuses with too much time on their hands and a serious grudge against the laws of physics.

"You know," I panted after I narrowly avoided being sliced in half by a blade that appeared out of literally nowhere. "I'm starting to think these catacombs have a personal vendetta against us. Or maybe just against common sense and basic safety regulations." The amount of skulls in the place made a hoarder look like a minor collector. Honestly, I became immune to the sight of bones within seconds.

Stella paused in using her magic to try and predict the patterns of the traps to shoot me a grin. "Look on the bright side, Pheebs. At least you're getting one hell of a workout. Dodging magical death traps gets your blood flowing faster than running a marathon."

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