Page 62 of Ties of Death

36

Desperate

Daenn - A Few Weeks Prior

In the distance, I saw the Chambledon estate. Earl Tolomon Becker’s home. Emana’s home, though my thoughts recoiled from that idea. It didn’t fit her. It was too impersonal and cold for someone like Emana.

I shook my head, focusing on the wind tearing over my face. I couldn’t think about her like that. I needed her. I needed her magic. Mypeopleneeded her magic. My chest tightened as I remembered again what had pushed me into making this journey now, after all these years.

Larken, one of my closest and wisest allies. Gone in an instant, just like the others, but this time, it had been as I’d looked in his eyes, as I’d grasped his hand in a moment of camaraderie.

I would miss him sorely, along with everyone else my cursed magic had taken from me.

I drew in a ragged breath. I’d lost so much, starting with Emana and continuing in what felt like an endless battle. I was so tired.

I desperately hoped she wouldn’t turn me away. That was why I was doing this as formally as I could. I’d come with afull honor guard—as a king in need of an ally, not as a man in need of a woman.

I couldn’t have her. I knew this; she was married. But I had a plan. I would invite her to stay at the clan as an advisor. Invite Tolomon, her oily husband, as well, since no doubt he would want to go wherever Emana went.

I mentally planned out the conversation, telling Emana about my magic. I didn’t fear her reaction, despite how monstrous I was.

Emana wouldn’t shy away. Her compassion was part of why I loved her. Telling her husband about it was another matter. I didn’t want to trust a lowlander with such a secret, but would he allow Emana to come if he didn’t know the full extent of my crisis?

I clenched a fist on the reins. Storm churred, barely audible over the wind. I could feel a vague sense of questioning from him, but I shook it off. Our gryphon-rider bond didn’t allow us to carry conversations, and trying to explain my heartache over Emana, my dislike of her husband, wouldn’t compute to my gryphon. If he could speak, he would simply tell me to challenge Tolomon to a fight. But that would run counter to my goals. I needed the man to… not like me, but agree to what I needed.

I just had no idea how to accomplish this.

Below us, the castle looked like a plaything, dark and drowsy in the fading sunlight. I pressed lightly on Storm’s sides, and he began his descent.

My men followed suit, I knew, even though I couldn’t hear them over the wind. I could see Eskil in my peripheral, and the others were well trained.

I could only imagine the sight we presented to any of Tolomon’s guards watching from below.

Yes, I decided. I would present the idea of her being an honored advisor first and hope that was enough for her husband.

Her husband.

The word was rancor on my mind, even after all these years. I needed to fortify myself. In mere moments, I would see her, I would see them together, and their happiness would destroy me. If I succeeded here, my life was about to become my own personal hell.

I couldn’t help a grimly wry smile. It already was. At least this hell would affect only me instead of putting my people at risk. If that was the torture I had to endure, so be it.

We landed in front of the manor, and I dismounted and moved to scratch under Storm’s chin. He preened.

“You flew well, my friend,” I murmured. He pressed his head into my chest, and a sense of a demand rose in my mind. I smiled. “One. You can have one treat, but no more, or you’ll be too lazy to fly us home.” And I couldn’t help but plan for the possibility that we would go home empty-handed, that Emana or—more likely—her husband would turn us away, and I would have to find some other way to save my people from myself.

As I started to move to fetch Storm the promised rabbit, the great doors of the castle slammed open.

I turned, resisting the urge to pull my sword on instinct.

Tolomon, Emana’s husband, strode down the steps, his face stormy despite the smile affixed there, a smile that I had no doubt told the people of the lowland courts ‘be aware of me. I’m dangerous.’

I couldn’t help but think it made him look like a petulant child who hadn’t gotten his way.

I stepped away from Storm, flicking a hand at one of my men. He fell back from the others, who were already moving into position behind me. He would get Storm’s promised treat and care for the other gryphons so we wouldn’t have to worry about anyone sulking on the flight home.

I got halfway across the courtyard when Tolomon reached the bottom step, but I didn’t get a chance to issue a formal greeting.

“Why are you here?” The anger lacing his voice matched his face, but that wasn’t what put me on my guard. That would be the hatred. This man hated me. I knew hatred well. I’d seen it on the battlefield, in men intent on cutting me down, and while I didn’t know why, I could say with certainty that this man hated me more than any I’d faced before.

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